Attention Truelove

Chapter 25

POV: Skylar

I change into my best scrubs today, wearing my whitest socks and slicking back my short orange hair with water, making sure I look as good as possible. Today is the day.

"Skylar, visitor." A nurse calls.

My heart beats fast.

I take a calming breath before putting on my slippers and walking to the visiting area.

Aphrodite is there, as beautiful as ever. Her long black curly hair is pulled up into a high ponytail. Making my mouth water over her flawless neckline. Her warm auburn eyes light up at the sight of me, and the smile that spreads across her lips makes her look timeless.

I run into her arms, we crash into each other, and she holds me tightly.

"I'm sorry." These are the first words out of my mouth.

"You scared the hell out of me," she mumbles into me, not letting me go.

We stay locked in an embrace for a while before she finally let go. Then I sit with her at the table.

"How are you?" we ask at the same time.

We chuckle before I say, "you first."

"No, you." She says.

"I'm... doing good. The new meds don't make me so nauseous and I can finally keep a meal down. So, that's a plus. I've been journaling and working with Dr. Parkland to better communicate how I feel. I'm doing good. I'm dealing. You?" I say.

"I'm glad, I've been busy with school. Handling family drama, working to get you all set up for when you leave. I'm... dealing as well I guess you could say. I'm handling." She says.

"I'm sorry I put you through this," I look down in shame.

"Don't be, you needed this. It's okay to need help." She grabs my hands in hers.

"I... missed you," I say softly.

"I missed you too," she lets go of my hands.

I look up in confusion.

"I guess one of the reasons I'm here is because I wanted to tell you this, in person. While you were still in here. In case you have a bad reaction."

"What is it?" I ask.

"Skylar... I've been thinking. A lot. A lot a lot. And I think, what's best for me, for you, is that when you get out. We go back to being just friends."

"Oh," I look down in pain.

"I just want you to focus on you, not try and tie yourself to me now that you've finally untied yourself from Jade. I think being on your own for a while will do you good. Dr. Parkland agrees with me. It's not that I don't love you, the opposite actually. I just, really want you to get better, all the way better before we try this again."

"I understand," I say softly.

"Don't be upset, please. I still love you." She grabs my hand in hers.

"No, I get it. I... fucked it up. I guess you can't be in a relationship when you almost kill yourself because you were still thinking about your ex. I'm sorry you had to come all the way here to tell me that." I get up to leave.

"Skylar don't," she catches my hand.

I stay turned away from her to hide my tears.

"Please, I know it hurts, but I'm doing this for your own good." She says.

People seem to know what's better for me more than I do apparently.

"Okay," I force out.

"Skylar, please. You don't have to run from me. I'm still your friend, I still care about you."

"I just need space," I pull free.

"Okay." She says sadly.

"Thank you for coming to visit me. It meant a lot to me to see you again." I say without turning to face her before walking away from the visiting area.

When I get to my room I grab my journal to write down how I feel, but I can't get a single word on the page so I throw the journal across the room and curl up on my bed to cry.

When Dr. Parkland comes for our visit I'm closed off, not in a talking mood.

She sighs.

"Skylar, I don't want to revert here. Just because Aphrodite is giving you space doesn't mean you go back to being closed off. Help me understand why you are so upset." She pushes.

"I just got dumped, what do you think," I say bitterly.

"I think being alone is what really scares you."

I look up at her then.

"Am I right?"

I avert my gaze.

"Why does being alone bother you?" she asks.

"I... I get lonely. I've always been like this. I don't know what to do with myself when I'm alone." I say.

"Invest in hobbies, hang out with friends, and family, invest in yourself. Stop trying to please others and learn to please yourself first."

"I... I don't know who I am when I'm alone." I say. "And that scares me."

"Being alone doesn't have to be scary, it can be fun, exciting." She leans forward.

"How?" I ask.

"Think about it, now you have all this time to do whatever it is you want to do. Want to go skydiving, who's stopping you? Want to go to a water park, go right ahead. Want to go see a movie, go. You don't have to plan your life around anyone. You can plan it for yourself and if you don't know what you like, all the more fun in finding out. Go on adventures, find new interests, new friends, and new things to do. Being alone can be so much fun if you let it."

I sniffle and look down in thought.

"I want you to do one thing for me, just one more thing and I'll let you out of here."

"What?" I ask.

"I want you to write down a list of everything you've ever wanted to do or try. It can be anything from a silly child's dream to going to try some food you've never had. Everything put it all on there. No matter how long the list is. When you turn that in to me, I'll sign your release papers. Deal?"

"Deal," I smile.

"That's my girl. See you tomorrow then."

"Okay," I get up and go back to my room.

When I get to my room I pick up my journal off the floor and sit down, staring at a blank piece of paper for a long time.

I've always wanted to go ice skating.

I smile and write that down.

And snorkeling.

And take a painting class.

This is going to be easier than I thought.