Attention Truelove

Chapter 20

POV: Skylar

"So you just decided to meet with her, alone!? What was your intention? What was the goal there? Why didn't you tell me!?" Aphrodite demands.

I sigh and run my hands down my face.

She was here when I got out of class today, she let herself into my apartment with the key I copied for her.

"Answer me!" she yells.

"I don't know," I force out.

"You don't know!? That's not good enough Skylar."

"I don't know, fuck! What the hell do you want me to say!?" I stand up to face her. "It's over between Jade and I, in case Jade can't make that any clearer for you. So why don't you back the fuck off!"

She steps back from me, put off by my sudden outburst.

I deflate and plop back down on the bed, grabbing my head in my hands.

"I don't know," I whimper. "Everything is so confusing and stressful and painful. One minute you have your whole life figured out, the next nothing makes sense anymore." I cry into my hands.

Aphrodite sighs and sits next to me.

"I thought I was over her, I thought was ready to move on..." in a flash of anger I grab the nearest object, which was the tv remote, and hurl it across the room.

Cloud runs out of the room in fear.

"Skylar..." she starts.

"I know, I fucked it up. You're dumping me. You don't have to say it." I sigh.

"That's not what I was going to say." She says.

"It's not?" I turn to face her, sniffling back my tears.

She shakes her head no.

"I'm sorry," I whimper before burying my head into her shoulder.

She sighs and comforts me.

"I was going to say... maybe, maybe you should see a therapist or something."

A thick silence fills the room, and a hard and heavy lump settles in my stomach. I know she's right. I know I probably should have gotten help for my attachment to Jade a long time ago. It's not healthy to love someone the way I love her. It destroys me, inside and out. It dictates my whole life.

If Jade is doing what is best for her, maybe it's time I start doing what is best for me.

"Okay," I finally say.

She lets out a huge sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about everything," I whisper.

"It's... well I was going to say it's okay, but it's definitely not okay. It is something I knew I would have to face with you sooner or later, Darleen and Kenzie both warned me about your Jade issues. I knew what I was getting myself into when I started this, I'm not going to give up just yet. But I can't be the only one trying here Skylar."

"If I could rip out every part of me that craves her, every shred of love I have for her, I would." I sob softly.

"You can't choose who you fall in love with, but you can choose how much control they have over your life. Stop letting her control you."

"If it were only that simple," I whisper.

"Anything else you want to tell me while we're at it?" she asks.

There is a moment of hesitation.

"There is something else is there." She suspects.

I pull back and nod.