The Mafioso And His Angel | Jeon Jungkook Fanfiction ||✔||

• Chapter Fourty-seven •

Y/N'S POV ::

There's a feeling called 'numbness'. I always wonder what it felt like. What's being numb is? Now I feel it. The numbness, the emptiness, the void hole in my chest and that unbearable pain. However, I'm not feeling that ache. It's nothingness for me. I am breathing but I don't feel alive. It's been four days since I woke up and discovered that the baby I was waiting for so eagerly is no more.

The baby which brought so much happiness and hopes was no more.

I just couldn't get used to it. The empty feeling eating away my soul. I place my palm on my flat stomach while staring at nothing in particular. One moment, my baby was in there and the next I lost it all. I lost the heavenly experience of being a mother. I didn't get to see my baby either. I wonder where it all went wrong?

I'm still at the hospital. Confined in these four plain white walls. According to doctors, my wounds has been healing and I'll get discharge in no time. Physically healing was a one thing but I was destroyed mentally. I didn't felt this way when I was dying because of tumor because there wasn't any hope.

Hope. Its a sweet poison that kills you in a very brutal way.

"I'm glad you've been doing well, y/n." I blink at the voice and realize that I'm not actually alone in the room. Irene unnie and Nina is here for a visit. Everyone keeps me company. They talk, try to make me talk or laugh but I couldn't. I meet with everyone except that one person. Jungkook. I haven't even seen him since the day that incident happened where I pushed him out of my room. Maybe I'm terrible for doing that but there's a voice in my head screaming at me and it says.

"You're dying only because of your husband. So I'm not your killer. Jungkook is your killer, y/n. Not only yours but your unborn baby's too."

I shut my eyes at that again. It keeps haunting me even if I'm not sleeping.

"I.. I bought some fruits for you.." Nina handed me the plate filled with fruits. Letting out a sigh I kept the plate aside and looked away. "Y/n.. I know how you're feeling.." Irene mumbled as she held my hand in hers.

No you don't know how it feels. I lost a peice of me. A part of me. It was tore apart from my skin and I'm left burning. It hurts. It pains me. I'm not bleeding physically but I still feel the blood oozing outta me.

When I try to sleep, I see a small shadow. Its crying and I try to reach it but before I could approach,it dissappears in a thin air. It mutters those same words for me to hear.

"You couldn't save me,mum."

"You need to let go, y/n.." Nina mumbled, taking me back from trance. I stared at the woman in front of me. They both appears sad and there's a look of pity in their eyes. "I didn't even get to hold onto it properly.." I muttered. My voice coming out hoarse as if I haven't spoken in ages. All this time, I kept wondering, why was I alive and my baby wasn't?

Jungkook signed those papers.

He tried to save you.

He gave permission to remove the fetus.

He wanted you safe.

It was risky to keep the baby.

It would've harm both of you.

Those are the words I've been hearing from everyone. My heart knew it and yet I could think about one thing only, Jungkook signed the death certificate of my baby without my permission.