Attention Truelove

Chapter 27

"Get in," she says.

"No." I keep walking.

"Skylar get in, you're freaking me out."

I sigh and walk over to the car, getting in.

"You okay?" she asks.

I shrug.

"You haven't talked to me since..."

"I'm fine."

She sighs and starts driving me home.

When we get there I see a maintenance man painting my door to cover the graffiti. I sigh and stare out the window.

"Talk to me," she says.

"I feel like the world is punishing me for being a big stupid idiot."

"I feel the same, I'm the one that gave you the weed. It's my fault."

"It's not."

"But I feel like it is." She insists.

"What we had... it wasn't healthy Vida. You were just pushing me closer to that edge and... I let you. This is why... This is why we can't be friends anymore. Bad things happen when you and I are together." I stare out the window.

"I figured you were probably going to say something like that," she says softly.

"I can't be trusted right now, okay? I'm not okay." I feel my tears well up again. "I'm still recovering and I'm one bad decision away from landing back in that psych ward. I'm trying to get better, but when I'm with you... you make me feel like it's pointless to try. That I should just give up and stop giving a fuck about everything. Being around you... isn't good for me. You let yourself be abused for years and thought that was okay, and when I told you it wasn't you used it as a weapon against me. That's not what I need to learn to get better, using my pain against Jade... won't make her love me again. Won't fix anything. So I have to do this, for myself. For you, and for Jade. Us... staying away from each other, is what's best."

"Then look at me when you say that!" she demands.

I shake my head no and keep staring outside the window.

"Skylar, please." She begs.

"Vida... please. Don't do this to me right now. I can't... I can't face this right now."

"You need me! Where were you walking to? What were you doing before I drove up!? You wanna blame your bad choices on me, but you were making them long before I came back into the picture. I can't just walk away, not after everything." She says.

I sniffle and cover my eyes, trying to hide my tears.

"Skylar, look at me." she pleads.

"I have to be alone Vida. My therapist said—"

"I don't give a damn what she said! You know better than anyone what you need right now."

"Everything is so messed up, so hard..." I sob. "I'm trying but it's just so hard. I don't want to be alone." I sob.

"You don't have to be, I'm still here Skylar. I'll always be here."

I quickly get out of the car and run to my apartment.

"Skylar!" Vida follows me.

"Please, just stop!" I beg.

"No!"

"Vida—"

"I love you!"

The maintenance man looks up at us.