Rain POV
"No but forreal." I laughed as me and Haylee walked through the mall.
" no but honestly. I can't believe that I was ever that crazy." I shook my head. " I really wanna apologize to him about that but I feel like it will be unnecessary."
" I mean you guys can sit down and have that talk. Just keeping respectful and actually try to aim to apologize for him in that for yourself."
" so what's going on with you and Chris? Are you guys back together yet?"
" no." I shrugged. " I don't even know if I really want to be with him."
" so what you just wanting him not with her?" I shrugged.
"I don't know, I feel like shit though."
"Why?" Haylee frown up her face. "You had him first." She laughed.
" because it just seems like I messed up what he had going on and I feel better... I don't know how to explain it."
" you just don't want him with anyone else. I mean it is normal to feel that way. I folt the same way about E, I didn't want to be with him but I also didn't want him with anyone else." She shrugged. " you have every right to feel however you wanna feel. If you wanna fuck on Chris fuck on Chris. We are young, nothing is definite. We should be having fun in fun is doing what the fuck you want to do."
"I love him but I am in love with Mark."
" I mean it only makes sense. When we were growing up and you always wanted that college sweetheart type of thing. You always saw yourself living With the white picket fence and in a huge house. The educated doctor or a lawyer husband. That's something you have always talked about. Mark is able to give you that one day." I nodded. " make Chris feel how you felt, I know you might not want to take advice from someone who was in the crazy house but get your fucking lick back." I laughed.
"Bahia is mad at me."
"Fuck her." She shrugged and I sighedx " she has always been judge mental. In a way I feel like she wants to control your life."
" she just wants the best for me."
"Yeah, for the best for her." She shrugged as she look at a pair of pants. " she has always over whelmed herself with your problems. She just needs to understand that you are a grown. She worries too much. She coddles you, you are going to go through some shit and make some mistakes. That is what life is."
"True. I don't think she means any harm."
" we all know all you Gotta do is fuck him and get your man back."
"True."
" when you are a nigga's first love they are trapped. it worked every time before and it's going to still work now. I told you that so long ago."
"Yeah but when I do that it also feels like I am disappointing myself to a certain extent. But then is sometimes where I just don't care. If I wanna get back with him I'm going to get back with him."
"As you should. You are young do what you want. You take life to seriously." She shrugged and I laughed. "One thing I learned in that crazy hospital is life is an allusion. Live it how you want to live it. One day you will be forgotten and no one will remember, unless you create generation well or you kill someone. So you choose what you wanna do." She look at me.
"You really are crazy." She shrugged.
" I am having so much more fun with life. Be crazy, be delusional it is the best fun."
