Rain POV
" I just don't understand why we are here doing this. He knows the fucking outcome of having raw sex. I don't give a fuck about no baby fuck that baby." Bahia snapped. " if it's fuck your baby it's fuck his baby the fuck. Fuck that baby in his bald headed ass mom."
"Bahia it is okay. " she waved me off.
"Shut the fuck up talking to me. This is against your beliefs. If you don't do nothing else stand on your beliefs and your fucking morals. You done gave enough of yourself away for this man. Stand on your fucking shit. This whole situation is really pissing me off so I suggest you stop saying dumb shit while I'm already mad before I really curse you the fuck out." She scoffed. "yeah it was cute at first but it's not cute anymore. You are slowly matter of fact fuck slowly- you are losing everything to this man then he get you pregnant now you got abort the baby. No. You don't believe in abortions you have never believed in abortions so what about this is OK to you. You're not even considering your own fucking feelings you are just always so down to do whatever the fuck he wants to do or do whatever he wants you to fucking do. He didn't even really fucking like that bitch but he still let her have a fucking child and he's running around acting like he love you so fucking much but soon as you get pregnant now it's a fucking problem. I swear to god if you ever fuck him raw again consider me not your friend anymore. Periodt." I sighed.
"Rainee Walker." I hopped up and followed the nurse to the back.
I honestly was scared shitless. I never in my life imagine myself doing something like this. Chris I would be the only person I see myself having a kid for but if he's not ready for the kid I can't just throw it on his lap. Bahia has been trying to talk me out of this for about two weeks now. This is some thing I have to do.
I never really believe in abortions. It's against my religion and my personal beliefs but I have never judged anyone for getting it because I know people go through things like this... I can force myself to be a mother but I cannot force him to be a father.
Chris POV
" why would you make her get a abortion tho?" Dee asked.
" I told her she didn't have to get it she insisted because my reaction showed how I felt. We were just gonna have to step up it was not a series but she keeps saying that she can tell that I genuinely don't want the kid and she doesn't want to force me."
" why don't you want the kid tho?"
" I don't know man everything that is going on right now. everything is so chaotic and all over the place. I always just wanted one kid."
"Mmm." She shook his head. "You are a fucking loser kid."
" how am I a loser?" I frown up my face.
" If you were so prominent only having one kid why are you fucking her raw. Why hasn't there been a discussion of birth control or why haven't you got a vasectomy or something like that. I hurt her and but he had on the phone and she genuinely doesn't believe in abortion so you are going to make her step out of her self to go through this whole traumatizing experience just because you can't step the fuck up... You're a loser. The same way you would keep it 100 with me is the same thing I'm gonna do for you."
"It's not that."
" this whole situation is so fucking stupid and confusing. You say you love her and I am heavily saying you say because what. If Bahia got pregnant right now I would be ecstatic. It'll matter what the fuck is going on right now I see myself having a future with her. I see myself marrying her. I don't understand how you was excited for Myomi to be pregnant but when it comes to Rain is it totally different story. Now you just so worried in so scared but when she was pregnant you were so excited so invested. Do you not know how that's gonna make her feel?" I sighed. " all this shit is confusing but at the end of the day she gave you so much of herself and it's just like for what? Do you really see yourself being with her forever? Do you really even love her?"
" I don't want another kid at least not right now. I can't help it. This is just how I feel and you sitting here calling me a loser and all that shit is not gonna change that that shit is just gonna make me feel worse than I already fucking feel. I just don't want another kid. I am sorry if she had a baby first that would've been better."
I don't understand why everybody is attacking me for being truthful. I don't want another kid I cannot deal with another kid right now. Bahia Has been off her fucking bunkers lately and I am letting it slide because she knows the shit that rain is not telling me. She speaking up for her friend I expected and I respect it. That still doesn't change how I feel. I love Rain to the day I fucking die but I can't... I just don't want another kid. I am not even sure if this kid is mine but this whole experience just showed me that I do not want another kid.
"Stop fucking her raw... at the end of the fucking day this shit fucks with them mentally. You don't have to go through all of the shit that they go through when stuff like this happens. You don't have to experience killing a fetus inside of you. Don't have to go through the mental beat down."
If she would've kept it I would've did what I had to do. We would've made it work. I ain't no corny ass nigga who just gone throw a teacher tantrum about having to raise my child.
"So what about this hit tonight?" He changed the subject.
