metanoia
/ˌmɛtəˈnɔɪə/
noun
change in one's way of life resulting from penitence or spiritual conversion.
In which the passionate Bridgerton sister doesn't want to marry.
NETFLIX'S Bridgerton Season 1.
Simon Arthur Henry Fitzranulph Basset.
WARNIN...
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••••••
Grosvenor Square, 1813.
There is nothing worse in this feeble world than a broken heart. Crushed, spat at and ripped apart, heartbreak can cause more pain than any illness or discomfort combined, the latter which seemingly the eldest Miss Bridgerton was having when she was seen abruptly leaving Lady Throwbridge's soirée with her handsome brother on her sleeve.
Sir Tomas, who more and more people bet on to marry the usually against marriage girl, was no where in sight after their surprisingly short dance.
Neither was the duke of Hastings present, but some had noted that he was definitely in the ball, perhaps, hiding in the darkest rooms as his Grace usually prefers.
Nobody, perhaps, knows what had caused this mysterious sudden Miss Bridgerton's illness, but she must have been truly shaken to the core if the once brave and even arrogant lady had to leave whilst being supported by her own brother.
••••••
ANTHONY did not let go of Clara even when they were in the carriage, going home. His jacket hang around her shoulders as her eldest brother, who she tried to hate for the upcoming duel, held her in his embrace, stroking her hair as if it was the last time they'd actually be civil or loving towards one another.
Clara wanted to be uncivil with Anthony and to push him off, but her volcano of thoughts did not allow her to do anything, and his warmth, no matter how burdensome, felt also comforting in a way. Clara knew there was a chance none of them would step out of that duel, not that it would happen, Clara tried to plead with herself but to come up with an alternative was incredibly impossible that evening.
As they went home in complete and utter silence, a lot of plans crossed Clara's mind, but soon all of them would deem to be failures, because Clara knew that whatever she'd say, her brother would not agree. Anthony was set on this matter, acting like a foolish gentleman, when Clara knew that no innocence of hers was taken away.
Simon was even worse. He agreed to duel, because seemingly to marry her was worse than dying. Clara could not understand this at all, because he seemed to love her. Before Anthony caught them, the way he looked at her or touched her wasn't just something a man who lusted would do. There was softness in him, something Clara longed for no matter how angry she also was with the duke.
Clara did not wish to marry, but Simon's death was far worse than any marriage proposal. It was probably the most shocking change in her - the fact that she was even considering marrying Simon, but then again his life was on the line. Anthony's, too, even if Clara was sure that the duke would yield. Simon was ready to die, whether it was for her or because he did not wish to marry, and Clara was not going to leave it like that.
