metanoia
/ˌmɛtəˈnɔɪə/
noun
change in one's way of life resulting from penitence or spiritual conversion.
In which the passionate Bridgerton sister doesn't want to marry.
NETFLIX'S Bridgerton Season 1.
Simon Arthur Henry Fitzranulph Basset.
WARNIN...
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••••••
Grosvenor Square, 1813.
These days, the modern young lady must display a miscellany of talents in her quest for a suitor. She must be a witty conversationalist, an accomplished musician, and an expert in the art of the swoon.
For managing to faint with nary a petticoat out of place is a most covered talent indeed. Of course, not everyone has fallen victim to the royal fever sweeping through London Town. Two diamonds in particular seem quite immune making this author wonder if the crown had lost its luster. Though one of them is quite a surprise, the other one does what she always does - what she wants. Now more than ever.
••••••
IT was an evening in the Bridgerton household, a time where everyone had went to be in their bedrooms, whether it was to sleep or to spend the rest of the evening in a company of themselves. Clara had decided to stay home that night too. She had told Jennie to leave her be as she undressed by herself, undid her hair and was now ready to comb it.
Clara sat at a vanity desk, looking at her tired face on the mirror, her mind far far away. She held a brush in her hand, but could not seem to use it properly, thinking about something else. Someone else as her whole heart continued to ache for him, ache for Simon.
Clara glanced away from her reflection and looked at her hand, the one that touched his tightly wrapped around the hairbrush. Clara let go of it and with her other hand touched her skin, lullabied into the memory what was Simon's touch. It still haunted her, his closeness, as if he was in this bedroom, next to her. Clara felt as if she could feel his breath at the back of her neck, or his lips placing a soft kiss on her most sensitive parts of skin.
Clara longed for Simon and so much that she was willing to run to him even that late evening. But, of course, her panic stopped her from doing something reckless no matter how much she thought of him.
Simon was far more broken than she had noticed at first. Just by catching his numb expression as he longed for his deceased mother, Clara knew there was something far darker residing in Simon's heart. Something which he did not want her to see, something he hid from her. But Clara wanted him to be more open, she needed Simon to find trust in her she had for him. And yet when she thought about her own secret, especially Ollie, Clara knew Simon had yet to know much more about her.
It was incredibly hard for them both to open up to each other, Clara had realized, but strangely enough, this was not the biggest obstacle they had to overcome.
Clara did not want to marry Simon, of course this being the only real option if she wanted to have him. Simon would never marry her either, but presumably the worst feeling out of all of this was Clara's doubt. When it came to Simon, the thought of marriage was slightly less insufferable. It was something Clara hated to even think about, the mere idea that she could think otherwise put so many thorns in her future plans, but it was there, and it was clear as day.
