The Christian Bachelorette

Week 3: Noah's POV

I sit on the porch and sip my black coffee. In front of me lie the bright golden rays against the pale blue sky and despite the majestic view in front of me, my mind is the complete opposite. I am in anguish and my flesh is troubled.

I was conflicted about coming here to begin with because I wasn't certain if I was trying to make things happen instead of doing God's plan. I know now that I was meant to be here, but not for my human desires.

I glance at the door when I hear it open and come face to face with Joseph. He narrows his eyes at me in concern. "What's wrong?"

I stand up and begin to walk away from the house after muttering a follow me. I get in the car and wait for Joseph to get in before I begin driving.

"Where are we going?"

I ignore him and quietly sip my coffee as I continue driving.

"Noah, what's going on? You aren't acting like yourself."

"I'll explain in a few minutes just be patient." I calmly respond and he huffs in announce. I soon park in an empty parking lot and lean my head back against the seat. "You and God are the only ones I will confide in about this, so I need you to promise that you will not say a word to Adelaide with what is said in this car."

He looks puzzled, but nods.

"When the opportunity presents itself, I'm going to go home."

"What?" He asks in shock. "What do you mean? You want to leave?"

I sigh. "Joseph, I don't want to leave. I wish I could stay and compete for Adelaide's affection. I wish that she was the one who I could spend the rest of my life with." I pause. "I've always debated whether I was going along with God's will or not. I have," I say slowly, "but I wasn't meant to come here to win Adelaide's heart."

"Then why were you supposed to be here?" He questions.

"Joseph, I came here for you." I say and he turns to me so fast that I am surprised I don't hear a crack of a bone in his neck. "Don't look at me like that," I roll my eyes. "I came here for you to be your friend. I came here so you could start to see that you can trust some people and let them in."

He turns away from me and slumps in his seat. "So, you are saying that God chose you to..." he trails off.

"Joseph, God cares about you. He doesn't want you to be alone and miserable and tough the whole time you are alive. He wants you to enjoy life."

For a few minutes, we are silent and gaze out the windows.

"Noah, you aren't my friend." He begins and I turn to him in surprise. "You are my brother."

I grin and drive us back to the house. I lock myself in my room. Tomorrow is the elimination. I pack most of my belongings up and spend the rest of the day in prayer and reading my Bible. God, give me the strength to do what you have asked of me.

Excerpt of future events:

"You have to choose between the two of them," Victoria states.

I stare at Adelaide and memorize her every facial feature. I know it's selfish, but I wish I could stay. She is conflicted with the decision. She has the biggest heart and doesn't want to hurt any of us, especially these two guys. I can feel Joseph's gaze on me. She opens her mouth to say something, but I stand up and take a step towards her.

"I will go in their place." My palms are sweaty as I wait for her reaction, but I appear calm and collected.

I am numb on the way back to my house. I manage to get on the correct plane and make it back home before midnight. I walk up to my door and unlock it. I set my bag in my house after closing my door. My body feels heavy and my spirit is depressed. I slide down to the floor and in a crumpled mess I cry.

God, it hurts. I promised to do everything you asked of me and this is one of the hardest things I have ever done for you. What's next?

Call to me and I will answeryou, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.Jeremiah 33:3