Fourthy-two (Back together and plan)

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Song for chapter: Right now by One Direction.
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~Previously on Addicted~
"Harry!"

"I want all the two million dollars your family owns me before this fucking month ends."

"Harry. Harry please answer me."

"Why don't you want me to take you to the hospital?"

"Because I don't want to waist time in a hospital. We have to leave."

"Rose. Harry needs you more than anything and anyone right now. Please. Please promise me that you will never let him go."

"You're not going to give Shadow the money right?"

"Harry I have to-"

"No Rose. This isn't over. We are going to kill Shadow, even if it's the last thing I do."
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Rose POV
I wake up with a huge headache. Last night Harry and I were arguing about Harry's "plan". How in the world are we going to kill Shadow? It is ridiculous even thinking about it. Shadow is always a step ahead of us, and here I am, with a guy that thinks that can kill Shadow and get rid of everything.

We were also talking about Darcy. We found her alone in the apartment where Amanda and I used to live. Since yesterday we didn't see Amanda anymore. Either something happened to her or she abandoned her own daughter. Now Darcy is living with Harry, Annie and Gemma. Im also living here. Darcy doesn't call Harry daddy, she calls him Harry. Even when I tell her to call her daddy multiple times she still doesn't say it. She also hasn't mentioned anything about her mom. Sometimes she wakes up at night crying but never because of missing Amanda.

"Do you want pancakes?" Gemma asks braking my thoughts. I sit up from my bed and I look at the other side of the room where Gemma is. Gemma and I share a room while Harry has his own and Annie and Darcy share another.

"No thanks." I smile, laying my head back on the headboard.

"You haven't eaten anything yesterday and now its almost noon and you still haven't eaten." She stands up, getting off of her bed. She walks up to me and puts a hand on my head.

"You don't have a fever..." I close my eyes and I ignore her. I don't know what I'm feeling right now, but its the same feeling I had when Harry used to bully me. I feel like killing myself, and just get all the pain that I'm feeling right now over with. I don't want to suffer anymore. I hate having this feeling inside if me. Its eating me alive from the inside and it feels like hell. It controls your mind and breaks everything from the inside of you. Your mind, heart, soul. You don't see life in color but in plain black and white. Like being depressed...

"Rose are you okay? Why did you say that?" Oh shit. Did I say my thoughts out loud?

"What do you-" I open my eyes seeing a really worried Gemma. She sits down on my bed.

"Are you thinking of killing yourself? Why?"

"Gemma I can't take it anymore. I can't continue my life acting like everything is going to be okay. It isn't. It will never be okay." Gemma looks like she has seen a ghost, and her breathing gets heavier and faster.

"No Rose. Please don't do anything that you will regret later." I look down, away from her gaze.

"If I kill myself I won't be alive to regret." I mumble to myself, but it was loud and clear for her to hear.

"Rose! Don't you dare try to..." She begins to shout, but then lowers her voice. "...Don't you dare try to kill yourself." I nod. Not meaning it.

"Now come on." She begins to speak as she stands up. "Go check on Harry while I go make breakfast." She gives me a small smile before slipping on her slippers and walking out of the room. I let out a deep breath before rolling myself out of bed.

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