More Reverse Batfam Trash

Jason Todd's Guide to Babysitting a Five Year Old

-My religious, traditional, dad forgot my pronouns so he called me "It" and my mom laughed.-

Ages:

Jason - 11

Dick - 5

"But Bruce! He's such a wuss!" Jason wined.

"Jason, I wouldn't ask you if there was anyone else available." His father said. "Just a few hours. I want both of you to be asleep when I get back."

"Oh, so now I have to tuck him into bed for you?" Jason asked. "Come on! He needs someone to walk him through his entire nightly routine! I'm not a nanny!"

"Trust me, Jason, I will Never ask you to do this again." Bruce hurried upstairs to say goodbye to Dick, an ordeal that usually took approximately eight hours.

Jason scoffed. His little brother was so stupid! The kid needed help with EVERYTHING! it was pitiful! Bruce totally coddled him. Jason didn't think it was normal for a five year old to need help getting ready for bed. 

When Bruce left, Dick came downstairs to join Jason. "Hi Jay-Jay!" Jason ignored him. "What are we gonna do?"

Jason shrugged a little. "It doesn't matter, you're so sensitive that no matter what I do, you're going to go crying to Bruce."

"No I won't."

"Yeah you will. I started a grease fire One time and you tattled. You're such a baby!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yeah you are!"

"I'm not a baby! {I'm five."

"Then prove it!" Jason replied. "Go the whole night without being a baby about something, and maybe I'll stop calling you one!"

"Okay!" Dick replied. "I won't. It'll be easy."

"Great." Jason replied. "Dickie is going to stop whining, starting now!"

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Dick wasn't so sure about their agreement... It's not like he needed help with everything, he just sometimes needed to be reminded what he had to do next. And according to Jason, lot of seemingly normal things were childish and stupid. Stuff like Dick asking him to pick him up so he could reach something.

Dick was five, climbing and being picked up were the only ways he knew how to reach things. Dick couldn't reach the light switches or door handles either, but Jason refused to help him: "I thought you could go ONE night without asking for help with everything."

Dick didn't get it. He didn't want help reaching the light switch, he just physically couldn't do it. Sick didn't like the dark (monsters could be hiding in it, after all), so he mostly sat in the kitchen. He didn't like being down there alone, but Jason made it very clear that Dick wasn't allowed to follow him to his bedroom.

Dick sat in the quiet of the downstairs kitchen, unable to reach anything. He was starting to feel like going to bed. "Jay!" He called up the stairs. "Turn on lights! I can't see."  Jason didn't respond. 

Deathly afraid of the creatures in the dark, Dick got down on all fours on the stairs and began crawling up them, eyes screwed shut, singing tunelessly to distract himself.

It seemed to take forever to reach the top of the stairs. Dick stumbled to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Luckily there was a step stool there for him, so he managed to brush his teeth (Without toothpaste albeit). Next He stumbled across to his bedroom to get changed, but the door was locked. "JAY! I CAN'T OPEN IT!"