Chapter 10

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My stomach only gets agitated more. Oh no, this is not good. I rush to the toilet only to dry heave. Nothing comes out but spit. It comes again but nothing, I look like I am trying to do that on purpose when someone comes in with shakey hands as well and starts rubbing small circles on my back. I turn around and its Megan. Her face is really cut up and she has some stitches on her head but other than that she looks fine. “Did you take your meds again without food?”

“Yes.” I don’t think I can say much more to her. She probably killed Cane.

“I know you are mad I can see it in your eyes and I am truly sorry I did that. People just said he beat you and, and I just panicked! My instincts turned on and I didn’t even let him speak and he begged me to. I am a horrible person right now and with things happening out there we all need each other. I went to check up on him and he is doing much better.”

“Don’t think because of what is going on out there is going to fix anything out there? I love him and you almost took the one thing I love away from me.” I shove past her and climb into bed. I huddle into as much of a ball as possible and stare out the window ignoring everyone. “Can I have my medicine?”

“I think we might hold onto these for a while and only use them when you really need them.”

“I really do need them! My depression is so bad I am suicidal, I pass out so frequently I could slam my head on things. I have bad anxiety to where my heart races two times the normal pace and my hair starts falling out. And that episode you just saw wasn’t even all day! With both arms! I need my medication.”

“No.” Everyone leaves including Megan and they lock me in. How can they lock me in? My depression has set in and I lay on my bed sulking. I feel absolutely miserable. This was the time where I was supposed to go to Rehab but my parents insisted on me going here.

The cold overwhelms me so I cuddle in my blankets staring out of the window hopelessly. Whatever lurks on the outside wall must be so deadly that we were sent here to be protected and the bombs went off and all that shooting. Our lives most definitely won’t we the same. How are we going to get married? How will we learn? I don’t want to be an idiot the rest of my life and I certainly don’t want any future kids that happen to come into this dangerous world to be dumb either. And what about my medicine? I need that psychiatric meds more than anything, I rather be depressed and pass out all the time then have a break down and end up hurting someone or myself.

I click the lamp off so I am in utter darkness to match my pain, my misery, my embarrassment. That was a side I didn’t want anyone to see. Ever! But I went a day without needing them? Shouldn’t I have been okay today? Or was it because all the sleep? I don’t know I am so confused, I just want my mom back, I want to say sorry to Tommy one last time. I want to forgive Pete but other than that never see him again. He sexually harassed me but not to the point of sex thankfully.

One night he came into my room and put a gun inside my mouth and told me if I told a soul he would kill me and our family. I am only just happy he didn’t pull the trigger because it was loaded and I saw it was off safety. He never did it to Megan and I can only imagine what he did to my mom behind closed doors.

Tears stream down my eyes from the fear of him coming back and haunting me, he beat me one time and I tried covering up the best I could. He used to cut me. Grabbed a blade and cut me while duck taping my mouth while my family was gone. I would cover with long sleeve shirts or lots of bracelets. This was only recently. That is probably where I got all my problems from, they first started a week after he would do those things to me.

My tears now are loud sobs and turned into screams of torture. The picture of him came into my mind of him climbing on top of me kissing me and grabbing me and forcing me down. After he would return with a punch to the gut or a slap to the face. But why wasn’t I scared when Cane and I happened? Because I was too happy and caught up in the moment to care? Because I felt safe and secure and I trusted him? But now he is gone.

My eyes are filled with unshed tears but I keep screaming in agony until my throat burns. My eyes slam shut trying to keep the image of Pete out of my mind. Why did I think of him at all? Who am I kidding I cant forgive him and I never will, whatever those things are out there he deserves whatever fate he got. He is a bastard and a coward and deserves to rot in hell. Torturing a 17 year old. He is forty seven isn’t that a bit old to be hitting on your 17 year old step daughter?

My sobs soon stop and my body settles down until it is still and sleeping.

Cane POV

“When can I see her?” My body is weak and sore, I just want to go and see her and I will be fixed.

“Not for a while. She is a bit crazy we are trying to get her off her meds.”

“Meds? What are you talking about?” Danny hands me her meds and she has a lot of them. These are all so strong, these are at the top of their lists. “She can’t just come off of them! You have to ease into them! Like this one! You are all idiots.” I throw the meds at Danny and Nate frustrated.

“We didn’t know.”

“Obviously not! Go take her some food and her meds. Now! Or I will do it myself.”

“Well how much do we give her?”

“Seventy-five percent of her usual dose, so this one says two give her one and a half.”

“Okay.” They both slump out of the room to the café to get her some food. These councilors are just idiots. I don’t know why the boss decided to keep them. God! She needs these all, we are going to have to do a run, why didn’t she right these on her physical? We could have gotten them before this all happened. I guarantee all the pharmacies are blown up or empty. Medicine expires so those could be dangerous. Ugh this is so complicated. I need to see her. I carefully slide off of my cot and limp to the door. The cement ground is cold on my feet. 

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Hey guys sorry I changed the names I liked Cane better for Tyler and the other Canes name is Nate. I will change it later in the previous chapters so thanks for reading.

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