Social Anxiety - #41

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Last time: Miku forced Luka to talk to her crush, Gakupo.

Miku's PoV

That's how we end up sitting with Kaito and Gakupo at lunch.

Me and Luka arrived first, going to our usual table and beginning to eat our lunch.

Soon Teto joined us, carrying her French bread and telling us about her new favourite songs.

And that's when Kaito and Gakupo decided to join us.

Me and Luka must have been so flustered at their sudden decision.

Len joins us shortly after, and Gumi, and we all have a nice conversation.

And that's when Rin walked over to our table.

Rin's PoV

I didn't expect that.

Seriously, having the UTAU and the other one sitting with us is bad enough.

Now, Kaito and Purple Hair is sitting at our table, laughing and joking with the others.

I felt my face grow hotter as I faff around, deciding on what I wanted to do.

Do I sit with them? Sit somewhere else?

I don't know.

I stand there for a while. Miku looks over at me, and signals for me to sit down. I give her a nervous smile and walk away, finding a small table in the corner of the canteen and sitting there.

Social problems are not fun.

You can't laugh and joke with people the way you want to.

It's no fun.

And now, our group is getting bigger and it's making me even more nervous.

I sigh and take out my bento. I peel an orange carefully before eating it.

Shortly after, I see Miku approach me.

She looks at me with concerned eyes.

"What's the matter Rin? Are you not feeling well or something?" She asks, taking a seat next to me.

I sigh, fiddling with the strap of my school bag.

"I'm sorry, I just don't feel comfortable with all these new people that I don't know. I don't want to... risk it." I admit.

"Risk what?" Miku asks, confused.

"Being hurt again." I murmur, looking at Miku with sad eyes.

Miku sighs, looking at the floor.

"I'm sorry. I just don't know how to help you." She says after hesitating.

I don't say anything. I don't want to sound selfish.

Miku stays quiet as well, unsure of what to say.

"Why did you ditch them to come and talk to me?" I question eventually.

"Because I wanted to make sure you're okay." Miku replied.

I look down at the table, leaning my elbow on it and resting my hand against my head.

"You should just go back over there. This is a waste of time, seeing as you were having fun with your friends." I say.

"You're my friend too." Miku points out.

"I'm sorry for spoiling this for you. Id rather you go and have fun then listen to me complain about my pathetic problems." I say eventually, gathering all my stuff and walking away.

"Rin, wait-!" Miku calls, scrambling up and running after me.

I walk out of the canteen, Miku still following me like a puppy on a lead.

I turn to face her.

"Please Miku. I'll be fine." I assure her.

Miku crosses her arms, pouting.

"Only if you come with me." She says.

I pause. I guess it can't be that bad, right..?

"Diva..." I mutter, before agreeing to her demand.

Miku takes my wrist and leads me to the table full of people.

She sits me down next to her.

"Kaito, Gakupo, this is my friend Rin." Miku smiles.

"Hi!" Kaito and Gakupo say is unison.

I mumble something that could be a greeting.... I'm not entirely sure myself.

Every starts noisily talking again. I sigh, wishing I was anywhere but here.

Seriously, drop me off in the north pole right now and I wouldn't complain.

Miku notices my anxiety and takes hold of my hand under the table, ensuring me that everything is okay.

Everyone carries in talking. Eventually I give up and turn to face Miku.

"I don't feel too good.. can we go now?" I ask her.

Miku sighs and nods, and I lead her out of the canteen and to the bathrooms.

As soon as we're in, I lean against the wall, letting out a massive sigh of relief.

"Are you okay?" Miku asks.

"Well, I am now.." I say, clutching tightly onto my school bag.

Miku sighs.

"It is a shame that you cant join in the fun." Miku says. I feel myself tense up at her sentence.

I don't really think this is helping.

Miku notices.

"I'm sorry!" She apologises innocently.

I force myself to smile at her.

"It's fine." I tell her. "I'm fine..."

Narrator: and cut :3

Author: Please note I don't have anxiety so I don't really know anything about it. I'd just like to point that out so I don't offend anyone who has it, and if you are I'm sorry. You're strong and brave, and I believe in you! x3

Rin: Sayonara~!

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