Nothing Without You

Chapter 43 {Matt's POV}

{Matt's POV}

Gah, I hate my life right now. Someone just shoot me right fucking now. I mean it put me out of my misery, please. It would just be so much easier.

That's why I love being on tour. Is to be away from the stress and all the crap. But even right now I'm starting to hate touring. I can't deal with the crap. That's why I left Valary. Everyday it was something new or something old that Val was bickering with me about.

She didn't seem to understand that even almost two year's after Jimmy's death. That it was hard to get up on that stage, to be on this bus without Jimmy. Val just expected me to drop it and move on with my life. As if nothing had happened. As if Jimmy had just up and walked away from the band, instead of passing away.

I was sitting on one of the couches in the front of the bus as Val sat next to me bitching about something. I wasn't paying attention though, I just tuned her out. Just wishing I could be back in the back with Emma and Trista. Holding Emma in my arm's.

"Matthew are you even listening to me?" Val snipped at me.

"No actually wasn't" I replied, monotone.

"Matthew" Val whined, with a pout trying to be seductive, running a finger down my chest.

"Johnny can you go tell Emma and Trista we're almost to the arena?" I asked, ignoreing Val, and moving her hand off my chest.

Val huffed and crossed her arm's over her chest. I heard Brian snicker on the other couch. I shot Brian a look.

"Yeah sure man" Johnny said, a little too happily, jumping up and basically running to the back.

I would have been running to the back to just to get away from the tension in the air. I ran my hand's over my head and down my face. Than stood up and went over to the counter and picking up my hat. I placed it on my head backward's, than picked up my aviator's and put them on. I saw Val get up and look at Gena and make a motion for her to follow her. Both Val and Gena walked back to the bunk area.

Zacky walked over to me and leaned on the counter next to me.

"You alright man?" Zacky asked.

"No. I wish Val would just take a hint. I hate doing this to Emma" I huffed.

"I know you do man" Zacky said.

"You really like her don't you?" Zacky asked, studying my face.

"Yeah man, I'm in love with her" I sighed.

"Don't worry man" Zacky said, clapping me on the back "She's in love with you too"

I took a moment looking at Zacky to see if he was telling me the truth. But I knew Zacky would never lie to me. My heart soared a little at the thought of Emma being in love with me too. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. Zacky chuckled at the look on my face. Then my mood was ruined the moment Val came back in front.

Than Emma and Trista emerged from the back. Emma had a smile on and looked fucking beautiful. She just seemed so happy. She looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. I raised an eyebrow back at her. Of course than Val had to have a go at her again and I hated it.

I watched as Zacky walked over and pecked her lip's and put an arm around her shoulder's. I felt my face pull into a scowl. I knew they had to put on the pretenses that her and Zacky were together. But just the thought of her pretending to be with someone else made my heart clinch a little bit.

After sound check I watched as Zacky walked off stage and walk over to Emma. I saw Gena hot on Zacky's tail and had to roll my eyes. I watched as Zacky was about to kiss Emma again. My heart clinching again wishing that it was me that was kissing Emma.

"You know you could be a little less obvious Matthew" Val snapped.

I looked over and saw Val standing by my side with a frown on her face.

"I have no clue what your talking about Val" I sighed.

"Oh come on Matt I know when your lieing to me" Val huffed, crossing her arms.

"Once again Val I have no clue what your talking about" I said, keeping my face blank.

"I know you like her" Val hissed "Don't try and act like you don't. Its written all over your face when you look at her"

"Val I don't know how its any of your business who I like" I said.

"Oh so now your not denying that like her" Val snapped, stomping her foot.

"No. You know what Val? I'm not. I fucking love Emma with all my heart" I snapped.

Val stepped back in shock at my revalation and her jaw dropped. Val's face went pale and her eyes filled with tear's. But I was done feeling sorry for her. I sighed and looked down.

"Look Val I'm sorry. But we're done, over, nothing left. I'm not in love with you anymore. I'm in love with Emma" I sighed.

I walked away from Val to let her process that information on her own. I looked around and didn't see Zacky and Emma anywhere. I finally saw Zacky and Gena in a corner haveing a heated discussion. But I didn't see Emma anywhere. I started getting a bad feeling in the pit of my stomache. Even though I hadn't had the chance to talk to Emma about it I had feeling Emma wasn't looking foreward comeing to Tampa. I just couldn't shake the feeling of dread comeing over me. I walked over to Zacky and Gena.

"Hey man have you seen Emma and Trista?" I asked.

"No man. I needed to talk to Gena. Why?" Zacky asked.

I looked between them and could tell something was going on there. But I couldn't deal with that now. I would ask Zacky later. But right now I needed to find Emma.

"I just have this bad feeling man" I sighed.

"Well lets go find them" Zacky replied, pushing off the wall.