The Lives Of The Romanovs

Always My Daughter

Vladimir

With Igor, Tatiana, and Dmitri still in the hospital; reporters were consistently asking government officials and members of the family all sorts of questions. The Russian people wanted to hear from their Tsar on the situation, but he was choosing to stay completely silent on it. The three of us sat silently in the Maple Room discussing the current matters.

"Everyone is alright, and that is what matters. Why would I need to make a statement?" The Tsar shook his head and set down a newspaper on the table.

"Nicky, the people need to live on drama. This will be over in just two-months. Oh, but the poor ones, especially Igor. Olga sent a telegram and said he is paralyzed." The Tsarina sighed as she knitted a blue-scarf for Paul. She had been spending her days buying and making him all sorts of things. Paul and his Babushka had become quite close.

I groaned. "It is ridiculous the Okhrana has not found who is responsible yet! Did no one see the perpetrators?"

The Tsar raised his eyebrows. "Be patient, Vladimir. They are working hard. Once they are found, they will be sent to be hanged."

"Nicky, please. Do not be so direct." The Tsarina scolded him as if he were a small child. We sat in silence for another moment. My mind was fighting over telling them about Anastasia. They deserved to know how she was doing and that she was safe. But then again, they covered up Josiah's death and did not tell her about it. I was conflicted on what to do, especially when their child was in the hospital with their son-in-laws. But perhaps, it was times like these when they needed a little hope.

"Uncle and Aunt, may I speak to you both about an important matter?" I blurted out quickly. They both gave a puzzled look at me and nodded.

"Of course. You can tell us anything." The Tsar sighed. I took a deep breath before explaining.

"Anastasia is here in Petrograd. She is working at a bar."

Silence. The Tsar and Tsarina looked at me as if I told them pigs were finally able to fly. The Tsar cleared his throat and looked at his wife for a reaction. The Tsarina just hid her face and stared down into her lap.

"S-She is alive? And she is alright?" The Tsar muttered.

I chuckled and nodded. "Yes, she is fine. According to her, Cheryl is just fine as well. But she refuses to speak to me. She is still very angry at us for how things went. Frankly, I do not blame her."

"But she is fine? And happy?" The Tsarina looked up with tears in her eyes. "I want my baby to be happy and safe. As long as that is the case, then I am fine."

"She seems alright. My greatest wish is to get her to come back, Auntie. And I believe you both have the power to do that." I asserted. The Tsar stood up, eager to go out and find her himself.

"I will speak to her and get her to come home."

I shook my head. "No, not you. She doesn't need you." I looked directly at the Tsarina. "She needs you."

"Me? That child has never listened to me a day in her life. Why would she now?" The Tsarina scoffed.

"Because she looks to you for acceptance. Even more than her father, she just will not show it. You, ma'am, can bring Anastasia home. You simply have to say the right things."

"I do not know how! I will turn it into a scolding by mistake and push her farther than she already is."

"Ma'am, you must try. We cannot let her go again. We love Anastasia and she must know that. All we can do is try."

Early the next morning, the Tsarina and I got in the car. The chauffeur took us downtown to where the bar was. She kept looking out the window, deep in thought. I could tell she was very anxious to see Anastasia again for the first time in two-years. But I also knew she was a bit excited to see her. All morning, she made comments about Anastasia's appearance and childhood stories. I was nervous as well to see her again.

We were dropped off in front of the bar. I gently took the Tsarina's hand as we walked up to the door to the bar. I opened it for her. The bar had no people and the lights were dimmed. I saw Anastasia sweeping the floor, but her back was to us.

"We do not open for another hour. Come back then, please." Anastasia groaned.

"Shvybzik." The Tsarina softly said. Anastasia stopped sweeping and straightened her posture. She turned around with a confused look.

"That is very selfless of you, Paley. Get my parents involved to manipulate me to come home. That is also an Olga thing to do." Anastasia gave a nasty tone. The Tsarina opened her mouth, ready to scold her daughter. Instead, she kept her mouth shut.

"Anastasia, how are you? I wish to know how you are." The Tsarina kept a kind tone. Anastasia rolled her eyes and went back to sweeping.

"Why do you care? You barely noticed by existence when I was home."

"Now Nastya, you know that is not true. I love you very much-"

"Oh, enough! Please!" Anastasia shouted, dropping the broom and crossing her arms at us. "Just leave! I am not coming home! You are all doing just fine without me. Get lost." Anastasia began to turn away again, but the next thing the Tsarina did was incredible.

"Yitgadal v'yitkadash sh'mei raba b'alma di v'ra chir'utei" The Tsarina spoke. Anastasia turned around with a shocked look on her face. I had no idea what was said, but it seemed meaningful. Tears filled Anastasia's eyes immediately.

"Mama-"

"It is called Kaddish. It is the Jewish prayer for the dead. Of course, I will never be Jewish. However, I think of Josiah often and decide to chant it on the anniversary of his death. That is because I, just like your father and the rest of us, are tormented by the tragic death of our grandchild's father. Josiah Henry was an honest and kind man who did not deserve such a dreadful fate. Anastasia, my beloved child, I am sorry. I am so sorry for what happened to him. Nothing I do can ever change the past, but I can change the future. And I wish for you to come home and be part of the family again. I promise you that there will be no more lies, pain, or secrets. You are my greatest joy, Shvybzik. I am just sorry that it took losing you to come to that realization."

Anastasia broke into sobs, along with the Tsarina. The two collided with each other and wrapped their arms around each other. It was a tender moment between mother and daughter. The lump in my throat became hard and my eyes began to burn. I held my back my urge to sob with the women.

"Mama, I miss Josiah so much. I loved him so." Anastasia muffled through her tears.

"He was a sweet man, my darling. Come, let us go home."

Anastasia shook her head. "Cheryl is at home with our neighbor. We must go to my apartment first and then we can go back to the Alexander Palace."

"Very well, then."

"Mama, there is one condition I have."

"Yes?"

"I cannot marry now, at least not to an aristocrat. So when the time comes, I will leave again to spend my elder years. No man will want me now, and I am fine with that."

The Tsarina nodded. "Let us think about that later. You are back home now. That is all that matters."

It was a heavy weight that finally came off of our shoulders. The public was eager to see her again, believing she was touring the world. And Paul wanted to see his Aunt Nastya again. Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna was officially back to the Russian court.