The Lives Of The Romanovs

Falling

Maria

After dinner, we were all free to do whatever we felt like. Igor, Papa, and Dmitri liked to go sit on the balcony and smoke cigarettes together. Olga and Tatiana dedicated time into reading together in Papa's "Maple Room". Anastasia and Alexei went to take Jimmy and Joy to play together. Mama simply went to bed early and mustn't be bothered after she went to bed. But then there was Vladimir, who simply sat in one of the sitting rooms and worked on his poetry. Him and I had hardly had even a real conversation with each other in the time he has been there. But tonight, I hoped to change that.

I knocked on the door at least three-times.
"Come in!" I heard Vladimir say. I opened the door and he looked at me. He had a cigarette between his lips. "Oh, Maria Nikolaevna! I didn't know it was you." He quickly put his cigarette out in his ashtray. The room was quite full of smoke. He had candles on his desk and the fireplace was going as well.
"Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting. I can leave if you would like."
Vladimir shook his head. "Oh no, don't leave. I was just writing something. Please, come sit." He pointed to the footstool of the chair. I closed the door to the sitting room. But I took the time to walk over to the window and crack it open, just to get some of the smoke out of there. The cold breeze from outside came into the room. I turned around and Vladimir had gone back to writing. I walked over to the footstool and moved it over to the desk. I sat myself down.

"What are you writing about?"
"I cannot tell you."
"Why not?"
Vladimir looked at me and smirked. "A good writer never reveals what he writes."
I smirked back at him. "I guarantee I could get it out of you. Let me guess? A girl you met back in France or a nurse during the war?"
"No, no, nothing of that sort," Vladimir chuckled and put his pen down. He looked at me and kept a smile. He deeply exhaled. "The poem is about Maria Pavlovna and Dmitri."
That had taken me by surprise. "Maria Pavlovna and Dmitri? Why?"
"Because Maria loves me and often writes to me. She considers me to be her brother. Meanwhile, Dmitri hates me and cannot stand to be by my side."
"Surely that is not the case..."
"But it is, Maria Nikolaevna. I know my father's actions hurt Dmitri but I'm not at fault. So my poem is about that."
I placed my hand on Vladimir's shoulder. He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face. I tilted my head to the side and kept a wan smile.

"I know what it feels like to think you're unloved. I was about ten or eleven at the time and I had written a letter to my mother about how unloved and unappreciated I felt. She assured me that was not the case. But...I still feel less significant than my sisters and Alexei."
"Oh Maria Nikolaevna-"
"Please, I think we are over that at that point. Just call me Maria."
Vladimir nodded at me. "Maria, you must never think that. You mean so much to this family."
I shook my head. "No, I'm afraid I'm not as special as the others. No one would care if I left tomorrow."
Vladimir picked up my hand from off his shoulder and clasped it between his. My heart started to pound from just him holding my hand.
"Well, I know it probably does not mean a whole lot, but you matter to me. I personally think you are the glue of the family."
"The glue?"
"It's a metaphor." Vladimir claimed. "It means you're the one in the family that keeps the healthy relationships between each other and the good reputation."
I blushed. "Now you are just trying to flatter me."
"Is it working?" He asked. I looked up at him and he just started to laugh. I laughed with him and he ended up letting go of my hand. He went back to writing something down. I just watched as he seemed so concentrated writing his poems. Vladimir was effortlessly a beautiful man.

"What's your favorite flower?" Vladimir asked.
"Why do you want know?"
"I need to reference a flower in my poem. So you can help me with that."
I smiled and gave a small giggle. "Lilacs. I adore lilacs immensely."
"Then lilacs it is." He winked. Vladimir brought his pen back down on to his paper. He was using his arm to cover the sentences. But I could see the sentence: "How I wish I could return you to that field of lilacs. Perhaps if I did, you'd like me better."

"Vladimir, you should sit down and speak with Dmitri. You two are family, after all. And do you really wish to live your life on poor terms?"
Vladimir stopped writing. He looked up but didn't look at me. He gently shook his head.
"He hates me. Dmitri hates me. Maybe sitting down and talking is alright is a woman's world but not in a man's."
"Well I think that's absolutely ridiculous! Make things right with Dmitri, sweet Vladimir." I placed my hand on his face. He looked over at me and gulped. For one moment, I thought I could feel our faces getting closer and closer almost as if he was about to kiss me. Suddenly, the doors flew open and Olga and Tatiana walked in together. I automatically stood up and took my hand off of Vladimir's face.

"Olga, Tatiana? Is something that matter?" I asked. Tatiana glared at Vladimir intently. Olga simply cleared her throat and kept a fake smile.
"Papa is asking after you. Him, Mama, Alexei, and Anya wish to play cards and he wants you to play."
I looked at Vladimir one last time. I nodded at him and then at Olga. I walked passed them and out the room.
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Olga

I shut the doors to the sitting room. Tatiana and I walked over to Vladimir. I think Tatiana felt angry at him for having let our sister touch him in such a manner. But I felt remorse. And I think he did too.
"I promise you both. We were only talking and I was a bit sad about something. Do not punish her."
I sighed and sat down on the footstool.
"Vladimir...I mean this politely. But you'd be stupid to think you ever had a chance with her."
He scoffed and tried to play it off. "Whatever do you mean, Olga Nikolaevna?"
Tatiana came into the conversation. "What she means is that you are a prince from a morganatic marriage. You only gained your title three-years ago and no estate of your own. What kind of life do you think you could really give Maria?"
Vladimir had a disappointed look and looked back down at his papers.
"Anything else you both wish to tell me?"
"Maria has always been a bit of a hopeless romantic. She falls in love with any man that calls her pretty. So please, for her sake, back off just a little bit. And for your sake too." Tatiana said. Vladimir nodded.
"I can do that. Please, just leave."
With that, Tatiana and I left the room. We walked down the hallway back to our bedroom.

"Do you think that was wrong?" I asked Tatya.
"No, I don't think so. We're only looking out for Maria's well-being. It's for the best, Olenka."
"Yes, but she is nineteen now. Isn't this up to her to find out? I cannot help but feel as if we did something wrong."
Tatiana stopped in the hallway and turned my shoulders. She put her hands on my shoulders and smiled.
"She maybe she nineteen now but Maria is still quite immature. She tries to see the best in everyone. Oh, it hurts me too. But we must protect her until she is truly married one day."
I nodded and didn't reply. Tatiana took my arm and we continued to walk down the hallway together.

"Then we will have to protect Anastasia for the rest of her life." I laughed. Tatiana laughed too.
"You are right. I think we'll have to be there for Anastasia for the rest of her life. Not to protect her from men but to protect men from her."
We simply laughed more and continued down the hallway. But something in me, deep down in my gut, told me we should've stayed out of Maria and Vladimir's business.