The Lives Of The Romanovs

Cracks and Breaks

Tatiana

Dmitri and I ate breakfast together per usual. We were quiet and did not really say anything. Olga's words of confronting him were ringing in my ear. I supposed there wouldn't be a better time to do it. Dmitri read the newspaper and seemed very focused on it.

"Dima?" I spoke softly.

"Yes, my love?"

"Can we speak about something serious for a moment?"

Dmitri looked up from the newspaper and set it down on the table. "It seems important. What is it?"

I deeply inhaled and exhaled. "We're married."

"Well yes, we are married."

"And we are in love."

"Yes, I suppose we're in love too." Dmitri nodded.

"But in order to have a happy and loving marriage, then we must both be content. And for me, there's something preventing that. It is your drinking and your annoyance at every little thing I do."

Dmitri furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head at me. "I am not annoyed with everything you do. If I was, then I wouldn't have married you. But I feel that I'm not respected enough as your husband."

"You are respected! Oh Dima, you have no clue!" I took his hand. "Please, I love you with my whole heart and soul."

"'Then treat me like it, Tatiana. Your "The Governess" act was alright with your parents, but not with me."

"I am sorry for saying this, but how has this become about you? I address my concerns, and you make it all about how you are the mistreated one. This is the kind of behavior I am speaking about. Not everything is about you, nor does everything belong to you. I am your wife, not your slave."

Dmitri huffed for a minute and then picked up the glass of milk and threw it across the room, hitting the wall and smashing into pieces. I jumped at the loud noise.

"Exactly, Tatiana! You are my wife which means you will give me the kind of respect and obedience that I deserve! Now if you excuse me, I am going to go meet up with some military officials and speak about government. I hope you and my child have a swell day." Dmitri yelled at me. He slammed his chair in and slammed his napkin on the table as well. I watched as he stormed off and then slammed the doors behind him in the dining room, not even allowing the footman to get it for him.

"Oh, my God." I whispered and broke into tears. The Dmitri Pavlovich from my childhood and the Dmitri Pavlovich that I was married to were practically two different people.

"Tatiana Nikolaevna, are you done with breakfast?" The butler asked me. I nodded at him and continued to silently cry. I then felt his hand on my shoulder "I am sorry. Is there anything I can do for you, ma'am?"

I looked up at him. "Just...keep doing your job. You do it very well. I like the staff very much, and you can tell them all that to make them have a good day."

The butler gave a soft chuckle. "As a butler and a member of your staff, I know I should not say this...but you deserve much better than the treatment you are receiving."

"Thank you." I weakly smiled. I stood up and slowly began to walk away. Olga's advice had gotten me nowhere, which was not her fault. She just doesn't understand my situation. And hopefully, she never will.