The Lives Of The Romanovs

When She Returns

Vladimir
July 1926

"Paul, come along." I took my son's hand as we took a walk with the Tsar and Tsarina. It was a warm day at the Alexander Park. It was perfect for a stroll. Paul was absolutely curious by everything pointed to every tree.

"Dada." Paul babbled and pointed to the creek next.

"I know. Do you like it?"

"Yeah." Paul smiled. I picked up Paul and placed him on my hip.

"Oh, my clever boy." I grunted, catching up with the Tsar and Tsarina as they were quite ahead of us. Auntie smiled and put her finger to Paul's little hand.

"Why didn't you ask your nanny to come with you? She could have brought the stroller." Auntie asked.

"I was perfectly capable of carrying him around. And besides, walking is good for the soul."

Uncle cleared his throat. "That is true. During my children's childhoods, Olga and I used to take a walk almost every morning. She would tell me her troubles and I would give her advice. Sometimes I miss those walks."

"Well, I am sorry that you are stuck with me." Auntie linked arms with Uncle. He softly chuckled with her. The four of us kept walking and speak about idiotic things such as the weather and politics. Uncle said that liberals were too sensitive and ruining the world. I retorted with how conservatives were too unwilling to look at different sides to things and were too old-fashioned. It was hard finding a middle ground with the Tsar. But I was going to keep trying. That is what my Lilas would have wanted.

After the walk, Paul and I returned home to find our lunch on the table on the porch. I sat down and set him on my lap. He was curious by everything and attempted to reach for just about everything. I laughed and tore some bread into small bites for him.

"Here, have some milk." I used my one open hand and poured a small container of milk into a glass. I held the glass to Paul's mouth and slowly lifted it. He got a few sips in before he was done and eating bread again.

"Oh, my boy." I kissed his little cheek again. "I know I am not perfect at this. Your mother would have been a much better parent than I ever could have been. I am so sorry you are not growing up with a mother."

"Dada." Paul reached for a bread roll and held it up to my mouth. I weakly smiled and took a bite. Paul then set the bread down and just hugged me. I hugged him back. "But I live for these moments. You are my boy. I promise you, I will never leave you. I shall never ever abandon you."

"Your highness." Nanny Martha came on to the porch. "Thank you for letting me take a nap."

"Of course. I know how stressed you are. It is time for this one's nap." I grinned and picked him up. I handed Paul to Martha. Paul rubbed his eyes and laid his head on her shoulder.

"That walk really tired him." Martha laughed. I watched them walk away and around the corner. I leaned back in my chair, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it. I deeply inhaled the flavor of the cigarette, then I watched the smoke be exhaled and move into the air.

I reached into my shirt and pulled out my locket. I opened it and stared into it. On one side, there was a photo of my Lilas. It was Maria's last formal portrait taken of her in January 1924. Her long brown hair had been pulled into an up-do and she wore a light green-dress that day. I remember helping her out on some makeup that night. We laughed as I made a mess with mascara and she could not stop laughing at me. Next to that photo of her, there was a Russian Orthodox prayer.

"Excuse me, sir." The maid came to the porch. "You have a telegram from Grand Duchess Olga Nikolaevna. She invites you to dinner tonight with Prince Paul Paley."