The Lives Of The Romanovs

Comfort

Tatiana

"Dima, where is Anastasia?" I asked him as I walked into the dining hall. Dmitri was sitting in there with Baby Irina in a high-chair next to him. He was slowly feeding her mashed up bananas, which Baby Irina thoroughly enjoyed.

"How should I know? She is your sister." Dmitri rolled his eyes and continued to feed our daughter.

"Well, I went to her bedroom and she is not there."

"Maybe she took a walk, Tatiana."

"I doubt it. Listen, I must get to the hospital now. I will be home around 14:00."

"I really wish you would not spend so much time there and more time with your daughter." Dmitri muttered under his breath. I ignored him and just bent down to kiss his cheek. And with that, I walked out of our dining and down the hallways. Finally as I was getting to the front doors to leave, I saw Anastasia walk in.

"Anastasia! Where have you been?" I shouted. I noticed Anastasia was missing her hat and wearing a different coat. "Whose coat is that? And wear is your hat? And why is your hair down?"

"It does not matter, Tatya. I went for a walk."

"But that does not explain-"

Anastasia walked past me and started to run away. "Get off my back, Governess!"

"Nastya! I am your sister!" I cried out to her. But she was already gone by the time I yelled that. The behavior was off to me. I did not want to go to Papa and Mama and make a fuss out of nothing. Did she possibly spend the night somewhere? No. Anastasia was a troublemaker, but she would never do something of that sort. She was not a liar and would never try to deceive us. Right?

Later at the hospital, I saw Rebecca. I decided to ask her and see if she knew anything about it. I mean, she was Nastya's best friend.

"Rebecca?"

"Yes, Tatiana Nikolaevna?"

"Anastasia came to my home early this morning. And I normally would not question this too much, but she does not usually wake up before 08:30 anymore. Today, she was walking in my home at 07:45. Also, her bed looks like it hadn't been slept in all night. Do you know something about this?"

Rebecca went a little pale and silent for a moment. She stared into space for a moment and thought deeply. She must've known something. I could not believe that Anastasia woke up early just to go on a walk.

"Well...I...she..."

"Please, spit it out."

"Her and I went partying last night. Yes, that is what we did! We went to a party last night and go so drunk that we slept there. I am so sorry and Anastasia was so angry at me for letting her drink so much."

"What happened to her coat and hat? And you are much older than her! How could you let this happen?

Rebecca shrugged. "Like I said, we got really drunk. I do not remember a lot of what happened. She ran home and I immediately ran to work. If you want someone to be angry with, be angry with me."

I was absolutely livid in this moment. Anastasia should not have gone out without a guardian. Something horrible could have happened to her and Rebecca. I would give her a stern speech later, but I had to do my job as of now. I would be passive for the rest of the day.

"Where is Doctor Ivanov? I have not seen him all day." I muttered.

"You don't know?" Rebecca furrowed her eyebrows.

"Know what?"

Rebecca sighed. "Anton's father died last night. They are having the funeral this morning."

My heart sank in that moment. Doctor Ivanov...was dead? No, Anton just told me a few days ago that his father was rather healthy for an old man. There was no way he could have died.

"A-are you sure?" I stumbled over my words.

"Yes, Anton was taking the day off so he could spend the day in the cemetery with his father."

"Rebecca, please." I put my hand on her arm. "Which cemetery was is?"

The cemetery Doctor Ivanov was buried in was a small grass spot here in Petrograd. All of the graves were crowded together with gravestones that were poorly made. I saw Anton's back, wearing a black coat and looking down. I quickly rushed over to him.

"Anton!" I cried out. Anton turned to look at me, his eyes were puffy, but already dry. "I am sorry."

"Tatiana Nikolaevna, why are you here? You should be at the hospital."

I shook my head. "Rebecca told me about your father. I could not keep working knowing that you were out here all alone. You should have someone right now." I walked over to him and to his side.

"I shall be alright. Do not worry about me." Anton sighed.

"Where are your brothers and sisters?" I asked him. Anton exhaled and shrugged at me.

"They came earlier this morning, but could not stay for very long. I mean, my siblings are all in their forties and fifties so they get tired."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "But, you are thirty. How are you so much younger than them?"

"My mother was my father's second wife. He was a young widower, and then met my mother about a decade after his first wife's death."

"Ah, I see. Your father's headstone-" the headstone was poorly made. The engravings were sloppy, even the Orthodox cross on the gravestone was poorly made.

"The man who made it was the only person who was willing to make a headstone last minute. And at a reasonable price."

"I can pay you for the engraving. How much was it?"

"Tatiana Nikolaevna, I do not want your money, nor your pity. My father is in heaven now with my mother and everything he loved in this life.

A hard lump formed in my throat and hot tears filled my eyes.

"Yes, but still." I began to cry. "I feel awful for not visiting your father. H-He was a good man."

Anton groaned. "Oh, do not cry. I cannot handle women crying."

"I-I'm sorry." I cried even harder. Anton pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to me. "Thank you, Anton."

"Yes, it is no problem. Let me be your shoulder to cry on if you need it."

I leaned my head on to Anton's shoulder and just continued to cry. He pat my head a couple times and just stayed silent. We looked at Doctor Ivanov's grave together.

"A-Anton?"

"Yes?"

"D-Do you think your f-father can forgive me for not v-visiting him?"

"He did, I know he did. Do not worry about it. He understood how busy you were. My father spoke so proudly to everyone that he befriended the kindest Grand Duchess in the whole world."

I laughed through the tears. "Well, that is nice. I shall come visit his grave often. Perhaps that is something we can do together?"

Anton weakly smiled. "Sure, we can do that. I do not see why not."