Behind the Curtain [Seo Changbin ff]

15

He immediately stopped the car in the middle of the road. Thankfully, we were the only ones around.

- What the fuck? - He turned to me with a scared and questioning look, clutching onto the steering wheel.

- You said you wanted to get to know me better, so I'm gonna introduce you to my mom. -

- But I'm not in the conditions to do so! I'm not dressed properly, I should probably shower, wear some perfume, maybe prepare something to say, or bring a present! - I started giggling, endeared at his nervous state.

- I'm sure she won't mind. Now start driving. -

He glared at me, but nevertheless complied with my order.

•••

- I thought you said you were going to meet your mom. - He said as we walked past the gates of the cemetery. - I don't like this place. -

He threw his hands in his pockets, looking around him warily.

- Neither do I. - I walked past the entrance with secure strides, knowing the path by heart.

- So why are we here? Is she the guardian of the graveyard of someth... - His steps halted when he connected the dots. - Oh... -

His expression turned from annoyed and questioning to a sad frown. He shoved his hands in his pockets, following me in silence until we reached her grave.

- This is my mom. - I smiled bitterly, looking at the white gravestone, where her name was written in neat, black letters.

I turned to Changbin. He was silently eyeing the cold stone, eyes fixed on it and emotionless.

Or that's what I thought.

- So this is the reason why you started skipping school? - He asked feebly after noticing the dates printed on the stone, still not looking at me.

I nodded, crutching down to brush some dirt away from the grave.

- I'm sorry. -

I halted my movements, standing up to face him, my eyebrows raised in surprise.

- W-What? - He asked, making a step back while showcasing puppy eyes.

- Seo Changbin being sorry... I didn't expect that. - I smiled, crossing my arms.

He playfully pushed me, going back to where he was standing before.

- I'm sorry I bullied you for having skipped school. I was being selfish, just because I missed my competition partner. I thought you had given up or something. -

He still wasn't looking at me, but he was forced to when I laid my hand on his shoulder.

- I still don't forgive you, Changbin. Everything you said still hurts me to this day. - His eyes were sad and guilty. - But you can work on it, if you really want it. -

I started walking away, hands in my pockets to shield them from the cold air of early October.

I smiled to myself, knowing I had done what my mother would have wanted.

Changbin was already forgiven, but I wanted him to work hard for it. I wanted him to show me he could care about somebody else.

- Where are you going? - He asked as he ran towards me, following my figure walking past the big iron gate and out to the parking lot.

- I still need to work, so it's either you accompany me or I walk there. - I grinned once I saw him take out his car keys, faintly smiling.

- Get in, we're getting lunch first. -

•••

- So what's up with your father? - Changbin asked while munching on his fries, all of his muscles tensing for a moment while he asked the question.

I sighed, resting down the fried chicken I was eating and staring down for a long time, debating on whether I should have told him or not.

In the end, I gave in.

- He fell into alcoholism after my mom's death. - I stared right into his eyes, and I could see him shift uncomfortably in the driver's seat.

- I'm sorry. -

I smiled, shaking my head as I took another bite of my chicken.

- Seo Changbin being sorry twice in a single day... this is something hard to witness. - I chuckled, and he rolled his eyes, staring outside the car window.

- Can't I be sorry? - He sighed, crossing his arms and laying back on his seat.

- What are you sorry for, exactly? -

I eyed him up and down, scanning his figure. His muscles tensed up once again, nervousness taking over his body.

- I'm selfish, but you already know that. I'm proud, I'm egocentric, and I don't care about others. - He sighed, ruffling his hair before looking back at me. - I'm sorry for who I am and for who I've been to you. I'm sorry for what you had and have to endure every day. -

I was stunned at his confession. I would have never expected such deep words coming out of him.

I shook my head, smiling entertained.

- What are you smiling for? - He frowned, suddenly offended.

- Not one single word of what you said was a lie, Changbin. You are egocentric, a selfish prick and are a proud dickhead... -

- I didn't say dickhead. - He corrected me, pouting.

- ...but you do care about others. You showed me you care at least a tiny bit about me. And that is enough. - I smiled feebly.

His cheeks heated up, gaining a slight tint of pink as he turned to look out of the window, embarrassed.

- Even if it's for selfish purposes? - He asked in a sigh. - I mean, I told you I just want my academic competitor back. -

- Even if it's for selfish purposes. Still, you're not completely selfish. - I said, taking another bite of my chicken. - Caring about others presupposes selflessness, so you're not 100% selfish. -

He held back a smile, still looking out the window.

- But still a good 99%. - I giggled, while he turned to look at me with a deadly gaze, unamused face.

- Fuck you. -

I kept on giggling, finishing up the last bite of my lunch.

- You're nice to be around when you're not being a dick, Changbin, did you know that? -

He scoffed, taking the empty takeaway box out of my hands and piling it up with his.

- You're saying this only because I bought you lunch. -

- I'm saying this because I mean it. And I wish I had discovered this part of you sooner. - I replied in all honesty.

For how difficult it felt to say it, it was true. Changbin could be a nice person, if he really wanted to act like one.

He sighed, looking almost sad, opening the car door to throw away the takeaway boxes before getting back inside.

- Alright, let's get you to work. - He said, starting the car once again and driving to the ice cream shop.