Behind the Curtain [Seo Changbin ff]

13

I set foot in the apartment, and soon my nostrils were overwhelmed with the smell of soju and beer, glass bottles and cans scattered on the floor in front of the couch and all over the apartment.

I tiptoed inside, hoping I wouldn't wake up my dad in the process. Little did I know, he was already awake.

- Why are you so late? - His words were dragged and confused, since he had probably been drinking for the previous few hours.

- I was at work. - I simply said, walking fast towards my room.

- Bullshit. Were did you take that pizza from? - He asked, grabbing my arm to avoid me locking myself into my bedroom.

- A friend bought it for me. -

A friend.

Did I really upgrade Changbin to a friend?

My mind shifted back to reality, suddenly realizing how much hatred I felt towards my own father. He had ruined my life, and he was the only one who could be blamed for it.

Not my mom, not me, not even Changbin.

It was him.

I glared at him, gritting my teeth while pain radiated from his tight grip on my skin.

- Give it to me. - He demanded, but I took the box away from him, staring at him defiantly.

- No. - I growled, not backing down.

I was tired of his continuous demands. He couldn't be ordering me around when I was the one working, while I should have only focused on my studies. That's what my mom wanted, not this shitty life which he had reserved for me.

- I said fucking give it to me! -

Before I knew it, he had grabbed a glass bottle and was walking towards me, holding it up threateningly.

- Give it to me now! -

I started crying, my hands shaking as I handed it to him in defeat. He took it out of my hands with so much strength I jolted forward.

Then, he threw the bottle at the wall beside me, shutting the door close while muttering curse words.

I fell on the floor, a crying and whimpering mess. Blood was trailing down my cheek, neck and arm, where a few glass shards had cut my skin, but I couldn't feel the pain from those wounds, the pain that I felt inside had become too overwhelming for me to be able to feel anything else.

I wanted to die. I wanted to run away from that house so badly, I wanted to run away from my whole life. I wanted to be forgotten, to start a new life.

I didn't want to be myself.

I stood up, grabbing the first aid kit which had been sitting in my room for a while now, always coming in handy when situations like these would happen.

I tried to disinfect the cuts, covering those on my arm with bandaids, hoping they would disappear soon, and me with them.

•••

I woke up feeling groggy, a stinging pain in my arm and cheek as I sat on my bed.

I checked the clock: 10:30am.

My limbs were completely numb, my muscles sore. I felt my head start spinning, so I grabbed a bottle of water from my nightstand, chugging it down in the hope of feeling better.

I sighed, squinting my eyes to make sense of the shapes around me.

My worn out desk, with papers scattered all around it. Next to it, the numerous bookshelves, where once there were my beloved books; however, now, they were empty, the books being sold to make some money, only for it to be wasted in alcohol.

And then, the glass shards scattered all over the floor. It wasn't the first time my dad would throw a glass bottle at me. He would never really hit me directly, rather throwing it at the wall, but the shards would always cut me, making my skin burn.

I could see he enjoyed seeing me in pain, to a certain extent, always a sadistic smile on his face.

I sighed, standing up to go to the kitchen, hoping my dad had left some crumbs of that leftover pizza.

I peeked outside my door, staying silent for a while and analyzing every sound which could be heard.

Everything was silent, the chirping of birds outside and the wind blowing were the only sounds which could be heard.

He wasn't home.

I walked outside of my room, seeing with much disappointment the emptied carton laying on the floor next to the couch.

The doorbell suddenly rang, making me jump and hide in fear.

What if it was my father? He would have gotten even more mad at me, since he would have already been in a bad mood, having left his keys at home.

I prepared myself mentally and physically, opening the door.

- What the fuck are you going here? - I glared.

- Making sure you come to school is part of my tutoring duty. - Changbin shrugged his shoulders, hands in his pockets as he tried to make his way inside, but I stopped him with my hand. - What? Can't I com... Oh shit, what happened? -

His expression turned from a smirk to a worried frown in the matter of seconds.

He immediately took ahold of my chin, turning it gently to analyze the cuts on my skin.

- Who did this? - His voice turned into an angry growl, his eyes scanning the room in search of any other person there.

- Why do you care? - I glared, wanting so bad to make him go away. - Leave. -

- Why do you have cuts on your skin? - He questioned back challengingly, arms crossed and eyes squinted.

- I'll answer to your question if you reply to mine: why are you doing this? - I mimicked his position, wanting so bad to slap away that gaze of his.

He sighed, staring at me for a good minute before replying.

- Deal. -