Book 1: jealousy, jealousy (COMPLETED)

thirty-eight

Emma's.

I'm incapable to be love.

Those lines keep on narrating to my head as we're now heading back home. Yes, I decided to go and leave her here. However, I will not give up on her, she's wrong about herself. She doesn't know how much I love her, how our children will adore their mama.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Emma, I feel like I failed you in another way as well as the Young Mistress." Devon was still here, still my bodyguard and friend. I guess Justine didn't mean to fire him. "You don't have to say sorry for my mistakes. I tugged you all along in here. I should be the one to apologize to you, I almost risk your job because of my inflexibility." I smiled feebly at him, letting my tears not fall.

"I mean I should tell you that the Young Mistress will come to the set, two days ago. It's really nice how she treats you like her queen, even though she's a dangerous beast in the wild."

"Justine is not that bad as it is, she needs someone to show her how beautiful she is." I protested to the young guard. "And I don't know if I'm that kind of person to make her understand." My tears betrayed me as they were now running down to my cheeks. This is so sophisticated on both sides.

"I should give you rest Ma'am. All will be alright between you two. You two are getting a family sooner or later, and maybe a break can help you both. If you feel missing something, then that is the one. That's where you will learn how significant she is for your life and the same for her." Devon smiled at me and he finally left me in the room.

I cried.

This feeling is so unusual for me.

And Justine made me feel this sudden emotion.

Maybe a break could be our answer, we are both devastated by this fast excursion of our relationship. I really am in love with her, I admit that already, and the feeling is still exactly and surprises every time I'm so near to her presence. I'm just the one who ruined it. And maybe these are my consequences right now, but I will accept them.

I love her, and I'll wait for you again, Justine. If you're ready once more, to reveal the real Justine. No matter who or what you are, I'll make it understand and fix you, honey.

___________________________________________

Justine's.

I'm having dinner now with my brother here at our resort house, still in Boracay, Philippines. Since this morning, I've been feeling nauseous and awful about what happened between me and Emma's status.

She's weird and I'm inconsiderate.

Why is it always at the end, I admitted guilt for what I've done and said to her?!

You're so dumb, Justine!

"Putang ina." I cursed at myself as I hardly touched my food.

"Language. We're clearly in front of our food, Justine. Did your mother didn't teach you some manners?" Joey scolded me like I'm his kid. "You know you can talk to me anytime, right?" I looked at my brother with concerned eyes. I was embarrassed to tell him how I fucked up real tight.

"I... I love, Emma. Truly and deeply." I confessed to him, this is the second time I admitted my feeling to others with him. Joe is always my buddy, and when I say buddy, he listens, teaches, and knows me better. But sometimes I'm so hard headed to him and mom.

"I know, but that's not the reason why you're so flustered since you came home." Joey knows me well, through my actions and gust, he understands what's an issue I'm having. "We have a similar case, Justine. You know Rose and I are not totally in love at first, dad was the one who planned our marriage." I was astonished as he conceded about his partner and him.