Black Leather Jackets: College Bound

Wake Up

Cheryl's POV
I wake up to sunlight and a quiet house for once.
"Good morning TT," I say turning and tapping her like every morning "TT?"
I look at her
And she gone
She's pale, and cold.
But she looks peaceful
"Oh Tones," I sigh
I place a kiss on her cheek and start crying
"Fly high babygirl, find some peace," I whisper
I call the number I was given and an ambulance comes.
"Mrs. Topaz I am sorry for your loss," an army general says
"Thank you,"
"Topaz was one of the best people I've ever met, she will be missed,"
I nod and he shakes my hand.
I ask them to try and be quiet  but the kids are already awake.
"Cheryl what's going on?" Robbie asks "are we still going to pops? Toni said we could,"
"Robbie I need you to do me a favour,"
"Sure,"
"Take Lexi, Tony, and Mia to the kitchen. I'll be in soon, don't let them come find me,"
"Oh okay,"
They all go into the kitchen and the paramedics go upstairs to our bedroom.
"Give me one second," I say before they cover her with the white sheet
I press my lips to her temple and sob
"Don't be afraid Toni, you can go baby, we'll be good here I promise. I'll see you later TT, I'm going to make you proud,"
I stand up and nod at them.
"We are taking her to the army base no?"
"Yes, they have her preparations there," I say
They nod and I follow them outside.
I watch them load her into the ambulance and drive off.
I go to the bathroom and cleanup a little to tell the kids.
"Guys, can we go to the living room?" I say
They nod and follow me.
"Lexi, Tony, watch Mia okay?" I say "I need to talk to Robbie quick,"
I leave them in the living room and go in the hall with Robbie.
"Toni died, didn't she?"
"Must've been in her sleep," I nod "I'm sorry Robbie,"
"Is there anything I can do? To help?"
"Can you text Reggie, RJ, Pea, and Fangs? Tell them to meet us at pops? And just be there for Lexi and Tony. As much as we tried to, they aren't prepared for this,"
"I will cheryl,"
He hugs me and I hug him back
"It's going to be okay Cheryl,"
"I know it will,"
I walk into the living room and pick Mia up so she can sit on my lap.
"Babies, you remember that how we talked about how mama was really sick?"
"Ya," Lexi says
"Well this morning when I woke up, mama had died in her sleep,"
They're silent
"Mama die?" Tony asks
"She did sweetheart,"
"So we're never going to see her again?"
"No baby, you won't. But she'll always be with you, and she loved you guys very very much,"
"Is she okay?" Lexi asks
"She's not hurting anymore. And that's good right? We don't want mama to be in pain,"
They nod and I hug them
Tony starts bawling and Lexi just stares
"It's okay Tony, it's alright. Mamas alright now, she's okay,"
He calms down a bit and I kiss his forehead
"Why don't we go get something in our bellies? Ya let's go get breakfast, maybe that will help?"
He nods and goes to put his shoes on.
"Lex, are you okay?" I ask
"I'm happy that Mamas not hurting, but I already miss her Mommy,"
I hug her and nod
"I miss her already too Buggy,"
"Why doesn't Mia care?" She asks
"Mia doesn't understand baby, I'm going to talk to her though okay? Can you put your shoes on for mommy?"
She nods and I wipe her tears.
"Monkey can you look at Mommy?" I ask Mia
She nods and stands and bounces on my knees
"Where mama?" She asks
"Mamas gone babygirl, she passed away,"
"Mama go away?"
"Mama died sweetheart,"
"Die? Mama die? No, no die,"
"I'm sorry Mia,"
"I dunno," she says
"I know you don't baby, let's go eat okay?"
She nods and waddles to put shoes on.
We drive to pops in silence and ask Robbie to get a table while I wait for everybody.
Luckily they all pull in at the same time.
"No kids?" I ask
"They're playing with the Harrison's today," Reggie says "what's up?"
I take a breathe and purse my lips
"This morning I woke up and Toni..." I sob "Toni didn't,"
"What?" Pea stutters
"Toni died," I whisper "she's gone,"
Reggie breaks down and Liz hugs him
RJ breaks down and Liv calms him down
Pea and Fangs console eachother
And I stand there
Because my person is dead
I've relied on her since high school and I feel empty now.
Reggie hugs me and stops crying
"She's okay, and we'll be okay,"
"I thought I was ready, I wasn't," I whisper
"You were never going to be prepared for this Cheryl,"
We go inside and sit in practical silence.
"I have a press conference at noon, of one or two of you would come it would mean a lot," I say
"Cheryl it doesn't have to be today,"
"It does RJ, I'm okay," I say
Ralphy, Trey, And a few of the other football boys walk in and see Robbie.
"Hey Robs, I've been calling you. We wanna go down to the docks before the bus if you wanna come," Ralphy says
"Oh um," Robbie stutters
"Boys, there won't be a bus. I cancelled the Staten Island trip," Reggie says
"W-why?" Trey asks
"Coach Topaz passed away this morning and it's better for the team to grieve here," RJ says "and none of the coaching staff wants to travel,"
"D-do you need us to do anything?" Ralphy asks
"Try and get the boys here as quick as possible,"
They nod and go outside to make calls
"Rob you can go out with them, you need your friends right now. I'll sit with them,"
He nods and goes out and I take his spot
"Tony what do you want to eat?" I ask
"Pancakes?" He asks
"Sure, what about you Lexi?"
"I'm not hungry Mommy,"
"Sweetheart can we get something small please?"
"Not today,"
"Baby.."
"MOMMY NO!" She yells "I don't want anything. I don't care,"
"You don't care about what?" I ask
"I don't care about eating, I just want Mama,"
"Lexi."
"No, I'm going to the barroom," she says standing up and running towards the bathroom
I sigh and put my head in the table
"It's okay Mommy," Tony says tapping my head "Lexi's just sad,"
"I know buddy," I say "Do you guys mind watching these two so I can make sure Lex is okay?"
"Of course Cheryl,"
I go to the bathroom and see Lexi crying I'm the corner
"Babygirl come here,"
She faces the wall and shakes her head
"Mama wouldn't want me to cry mommy, but I am and mama hates me now,"
"Oh baby girl, never say that. Okay? No matter what you do Mama is going to love you okay?"
"I'm letting the monsters win,"
"Lex, mama just didn't want you to be so scared of your room that you'd cry,"
"Oh?"
"Lexi I want you to cry if your sad, I want you to tell me when you're not feeling well okay?"
"Okay, and mama okay with it too?"
"More than okay, she wants you to be able to talk about it and to show your emotions,"
"I'm sorry mommy,"
"It's alright babygirl, don't apologize okay?"
"Can I have a hug?"
"Of course baby,"
I hug her and squeeze really tight.
"You're Alright Lexi," I whisper
We go back out and she sits across from Tony again
"Are you okay Lexi?" He asks
"I'm okay Tony, I'm just sad,"
"Me too," he sighs "do you want to share pancakes?"
"Okay,"
The football boys all come in and Reggie gets up.
"Boys sit down," Reggie says
They all take a seat on our side of the restaurant and go quiet
"Last night after the game, Coach Topaz died in her sleep," he says "out of respect for her and her family I have cancelled our trip to Staten Island. The therapists she set up have already been contacted and if you need to talk to someone please let me or your parents know. Coach Topaz was a big part of this program and we understand if anyone needs to take time and process this,"
They all are silent and crying.
"Do you mind if I say something?" I ask reggie
"Of course not Cheryl,"
"Football was such a big part of Toni's life. Every time she was sad or angry in high school she would always go to the football field. Coaching you guys was her favourite part of the day, she loved you guys and your passion for the game. Just don't forget what she taught you and what she stood for okay?"
They all nod
"We won't Mrs. Topaz," Ralphy says "we promise,"
I nod and sit beside Liz.
"Cheryl, we're here for you. You know that right? I know Toni's been there for the last 15 years and she's the only person you really trusted and thought that was there for you. But we're all here,"
"Thank you,"
She nods and hugs me.
"Reggie, do you want to do your press today after me or tomorrow? Toni's lawyer set everything up,"
"It's up to you Cheryl,"
"It really doesn't matter to me,"
"I'll do it today," he sighs
"I need to go get changed, I'll see you guys at town hall?"
He nods and I stand up
"Kiddos you guys ready to go home?"
Lexi nods and Tony grabs my hand.
I pick Mia up and we drive home.
"Lexi, mommy needs to get dressed. Do you want to watch your brother and sister?"
"Sure mommy,"
I set them up in the living room and then go upstairs to the bathroom.
I look at the mirror at a picture of me and Tones on our wedding day- she's smiling while I kiss her cheek.
And I break down
I grab the picture and start sobbing on the edge of the bathtub
I just want one more
One more hug
One more kiss
One more smile
Or laugh
Or whisper
I cry for almost half an hour and I hear the door to the bathroom creak open
"Mommy?" Tony asks
"Oh hey baby," I say wiping my tears "what's up?"
"I was thirsty," he says "do you need a hug?"
"I'm alright buddy, you want some water?"
"Mommy it's okay to be sad about Mama," he says "that's what you told me and Lexi,"
"I know baby, I just want you to know that we'll be okay,"
"You know why I'm really sad? Why I mad at me?"
"Why would you be mad at yourself baby boy?" I ask
"Because last night mama came to read me a story and i said I was too tired. But I want one more story from Mama and mama probably wanted to read with me again- but that never happen now,"
I hug him and shake my head
"Mama told me you were tired, she didn't care baby. She just wanted you to be happy and say goodnight to you,"
"She was happy?"
"She was very happy TJ,"