I laid on a mattress looking up at the void that surrounded me. Not a single sound could be heard other than the clocks ticking right in my ears.
My heart started pounding through my chest, I could hardly breathe. I felt the void overcome my whole body. Sweat started dripping down my forehead. A deep feeling of loneliness spread throughout.
Where was I?
Where was I going?
What was the point?
How long would it be before they would forget about me?
Had I already been...
forgotten?
—
Hey guys.
I'm not dead. I'm still around and well. But how am I really doing? I guess we'll get to that in a second. I'm updating not because I expect you guys (if you are still out there) to read this, but I'm updating for me. This chapter is sort of to get things out of my head.
First off, I graduated! Yay! Finally! After 5 years of suffering, I'm finally out of high school. It took long enough, and I'm glad that it's over. Now I just gotta do college and university...
What about my stories? I don't intend on publishing anything anytime soon. I haven't given up on writing though! I'm still developing my stories because I have a lot of different stories and I just want to make sure that everything makes sense before I put it on paper. Yes I will publish books someday, but that will have to wait.
Where was I? Well, I was busy with school. Senior year was no joke. Oh no, it was horrible. I got little to no sleep, I had to do a ton of studying and that's a lot of stress! But now I'm done with high school.
Where am I going? Visual arts! That's right. I said fuck psychology I'm not spending eleven years in college/uni just to get a degree. Although I enjoy learning more about the psychology of this and that, I prefer studying in something that I'm passionate about: visual arts. Whether its CGI, VFX, animation, graphics, storytelling or cinematography, I want to create.
What's the point? Well... that's where it gets complicated. I don't know. I've asked myself the question a million times and I still don't know. But for now, for me, I live to follow my dreams and passions and that's what I'm going to keep doing. All while trying to keep a positive mindset and being healthy mentally.
How have I been doing? It's been a bumpy ride is what describes it best. Sometimes I'm really well, sometimes I'm doing terrible. It's hard to keep up how I'm feeling even for me. It feels like everyday is different depending on the day and that makes it incredibly exhausting for me to keep up with. Can't I just be a happy person all the time without having to feel stressed out? Lonely? Depressed? Eh. It's annoying but its whatever. Can't do much about it.
I am figuring myself out, slowly but surely. I am bettering myself as a person when it comes to my values and I'm trying my best, trust me. I know no one's perfect and I sure am not. Of course, every step of the way is a battle. It's all really complicated.
It's hot. Summer's hot and sweaty. I sure didn't miss this season. It's probably better than winter though. I'm getting a pool though so that's cool. I get bored, tired and lonely every once in a while. Thats probably why I don't like summers. You're never occupied enough. When you do want to do something, you're never motivated enough. Maybe I should just find a way to motivate myself a bit more. I dunno i'm not completely sure what my problem is. I sure do have one. Idk how everyone is so occupied all the time. Anyways.
tldr: i'm alive, i'm not doing too bad, i'm still creating, i graduated, i'm studying in visual arts, summers are killing me.
Thanks for reading this,
If anyone does actually read this lmao.
Peace out
(you're not peasants, not today)