Flashback Harry
"I'm listening"!, he retorts tense.
"You are not an idiot. You are the most lovable person I have ever met. I love you. I love you because you are important to me."
I take a short break and look at him. Lou is bitter and deeply disappointed by me. I'd liked to tell him something else, but it's probably the moment of truth.
"You're right when you say that there is something special between Zayn and me. It's hard to explain. We have a lot in common - a kind of magic. I can't describe it exactly, Lou. But I can't help the way I feel. When I sleep with you, I think of him. That's absurd, terrible and sick. Don't you think so? So I better leave it." I cry, my heart is full of pain.
"Well, what do you expect, Louis?"
"You're actually asking me what I expect from you?" He raises his eyebrows.
"I fucking expect honesty and fairness! I am a human being, Harold! I have a heart too! I'm not the stopgap for you, if Zayn is tired of you."
He stands up and walks through the room.
"Honestly Louis, I don't know what I want. I've been confused for years and I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I really tried.", I say.
"What have you tried? - To love me?" Now he laughs contemptuously.
"That is disgusting and shameful. I was good until Malik had mercy on you again! That is so pathetic! Finally grow up, Harry! And what about Camille anyway? Does she know that we are together?"
Louis is completely beside himself with anger.
"You don't know, do you? And Camille doesn't know either, does she? You stall her as much as you stall me!
"I praise Zayn. At least he stands by Gigi. They spend a good time together. Do you think they don't sleep together? Do you believe that? I think they have great sex! We on the other hand, don't have sex. That's Zaynie! He is an asshole! He doesn't care about you!"
My mouth is dry. I never thought about it. It never crossed my mind. Jealousy. I'm jealous of Gigi.
"Stop it, Lou!" I scream and cover my ears.
"No, my Darling. You will have to listen to that! HE HAS STILL SEX WITH HER AND HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU!," he yells.
"Stop! That's none of your business! You don't know anything," I answer.
"Oh yes, Harold! You are so blind. And now I want you to go! I can no longer bear you around me! Leave!"