Zayn
It just couldn't do it anymore. In fact, our relationship was a constant up and down. We believed in invulnerability, but didn't feel it. Since my one night stand with Harry - who was never one - Gigi didn't trust me anymore. I was annoyed by her constant controls. I was annoyed by her permanent postings on Instagram and Twitter with us as a happy couple. That wasn't the reality. In fact, we didn't have much in common anymore. We only had a relationship so as not wouldn't be alone.
I've never again published pictures of myself and Gigi in my accounts since Harry sang "Girls Crush" in September 2017 in Nashville for the first time. The lyrics got so under my skin that I lay awake all night and cried. In this song, Harry has described his feelings as clearly as if we were facing each other again.
I'm crazy about him - still. He is my first and last thought. I long for him - endless yearning. He probably forgot me long ago. Recently, photos of him and Louis were published. They seemed to have spent a day together. Tommo never gives up. He is very passionate about Harry. My heart hurts. An inner unrest seizes me. I have to write!
At my desk, I pull out my notebook. The new song is just for him. Now I'm free. Free to tell him. In my lyrics, I process memories that only Harry and I share. Memories that only we know.
Let me
Sweet baby, our sex has meaning
Know this time you'll stay 'til the morning
Duvet days and vanilla ice cream
More than just one night together exclusively
Baby, let me be your man
So I can love you
And if you let me be your man
Then I'll take care of you, you
For the rest of my life, for the rest of yours
For the rest of my life, for the rest of yours
For the rest of ours
We're drinking the finest label
Dirty dancing on top of the table
Long walks on the beach in April (beach in April)
Yeah, I promise, darling, that I'll be faithful (be faithful)
Baby, let me be your man (let me be your man)
So I can love you (I can love you)
And if you let me be your man (let me be your man)
Then I'll take care of you (I can love you)
For the rest of my life, for the rest of yours
For the rest of my life, for the rest of yours
For the rest of ours
Give me your body and let me love you like I do
Come a little closer and let me do those things to you
This feeling will last forever, baby, that's the truth
Let me be your man so I can love you
In One Direction Times, Harry once said on stage, I remind him of vanilla ice cream. What a revelation and that in public in front of thousands of people. Of course the fans didn't know that, but the other band members already knew. When Harry and I spent a night together, we decorated our room with lots of candles. Everyone smelled of vanilla. We loved each other and loved this ritual. Everything smelled like vanilla and we couldn't get enough of it. Later, when we lay exhausted in our big bed, we dreamed of a common future. Harry once said, he would like to walk with me for hours on a lonely beach in spring. Then, when it's still cool outside and the cold wind surrounds the waves. Just like that, hand in hand. He is hopelessly romantic. So I really need to get these connections into the song.
My new song is supposed to tell him:
"I'm free again, my feelings have never changed. I love you!"