I'm literally such a bad writer, I don't know why you guys read this story lol. But yeah, here you go. I began writing this chapter with a plan & that plan completely backfired, so it turned out 110% different than what I originally had planned. Oh well.
Sorry if it's bad. I literally only have time to update late at night now, so I'm half asleep as I type this.
Let me know what you thinkkkk! Please comment & vote, it makes me really happppyyy :)
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One Month Later (March)
That weekend flew by far too fast. We all stayed up watching movies on Saturday night before we decided to go to bed. We slept in the living room, and had to do rock, paper, scissors over who got the couch. Niall won, and the rest of us laid blanket after blanket down on the floor in order to make it a bit more comfortable. You can imagine how difficult it was fitting seven people in Harry's small living room. We had to move the table that is usually in front of the couch into the kitchen in order to make room. Scottie, Mikey, and I left the next day, so Harry could spend time with his friends without worrying about having teenagers around. I didn't want to keep them in his apartment all day, and even though he didn't want me to leave, and we all know I didn't want to leave, I still did.
I couldn't help but feel upset, as that'd probably be the last time that I'd talk to him for another three months, and so far, I was correct.
It's been a month now, and I haven't talked to or seen Harry once. School went by as normal, and the ache in my heart grew smaller every day I was away from Harry. I missed him like crazy, but every day I was apart from Harry, I was one day closer to graduating. One day closer to everything being perfect again. It was bittersweet, really.
The last bell of the day rang, and I made my way to my locker to put my binder away. As I was twisting the combination, I heard a deep voice say, "Hey."
I turned my head to see Cameron, a boy who was in my Yearbook class. I used to sit by him and we've been talking more over the course of this past month.
"Hey," I smiled at him, finishing opening my locker and shoving my binder onto the top shelf.
"Do you wanna, uh, go out tonight or something?" He asked me, which threw me completely off guard. My eyes widened, and I didn't know what to say.
"Uh, tonight?" I awkwardly clarified, not knowing how to handle this situation. He wasn't asking me on a date, right?
"Yeah, I was thinking like a, um, like a date?" He asked, and I watched him scratch the back of his neck, just like Harry does. I couldn't go on a date with him, nor did I want to. But how do I let him down easy? I don't want him to hate me.
"Oh. I'm busy tonight, I'm sorry," I said, hoping he wouldn't see through my lie. He looked down at his feet, nodding his head in defeat (A/N: that rhymed ;p). I felt absolutely terrible, but I couldn't go on a date with him. Not when my heart belonged to someone else.
I absentmindedly played with the small heart necklace that I haven't taken off since the day I found it on my porch, while trying to think of a way to not hurt him.
"That's okay, it was stupid of me to ask anyways," he said sullenly, whilst shaking his head.
I felt terrible. I couldn't just leave him like this.
"But," I paused, thinking about what I was doing, before taking a deep breath and nodding, "I'm not busy tomorrow? Maybe we can catch a movie or something?"
I knew this was a bad idea. A very bad idea. We know what happened last time I was on a 'date', and I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but I couldn't help but feel bad. I'd go out with him once, so at least I'm not completely rejecting him, and then I can just tell him I only see him as a friend and everything will be back to normal. It will be fine.
"Really?" He immediately perked up, his eyes meeting mine as a small smile graced his lips.
"Yeah, sure," I grinned back halfheartedly, wishing I didn't feel so bad for him and I could just reject him like so many girls do to guys daily.
"Okay, yeah, great. I'll see you tomorrow then?" He smiled, and I nodded, shutting my locker and watching him walk down the hallway.
I sighed, somewhat mad at myself. Should I tell Harry? Before I go? And make sure it's okay with him? I mean we're technically not dating, but like, he still wouldn't want me going out with another guy, would he?
I began making my way to his room. This would probably raise suspicion, especially since I'm not in his class anymore, but I couldn't bring myself to care.
I debated on knocking on the door, and when I finally decided to, I didn't receive an answer, so I just opened the door anyways. The room was empty, and it was weird looking around my old classroom. I haven't been in here in over four months.
I heard a ringing, and immediately recognized it as a phone. Part of me wanted to walk the little way over to his desk to see who's calling him, but then I shook my head. I wasn't going to invade his privacy, especially when we're not even together.
I heard the door open behind me, interrupting my thoughts, and I turned around to see none other than Harry. He looked at me confused, scrunching his eyebrows as if to say 'What are you doing here?' but his attention was quickly averted to his ringing phone. He brushed past me, digging through the papers on his desk to find the phone that was buried under them. He finally got it in his grasp, and clicked ignore, throwing it back on the desk. I was curious as to why he ignored it so quickly. Would he have answered it if I wasn't in the room? Is he ignoring it because he wants to talk to me more, or because he doesn't want me to find out who was calling him?
I decided it wasn't the time to be having doubts. I loved Harry and I trusted him. He can talk to whoever he wants. We still have two months before we can even make anything official.
"Hi," I breathed out, a small smile forming on my face.
"Hey," he chuckled, probably wondering why I was here. It was good to see him after a month.
"Yeah, so I need to speak to you about something," I said cautiously, not knowing how to bring this up. I hoped it wouldn't make him mad, and if it did, I would just call the whole thing off. I wasn't risking anything with Harry because of a guy, fuck no.
"Yeah?" He asked, gesturing me over to him. He was sitting in his desk chair, and he pulled me closer to him, so that I was standing in between his legs. I couldn't begin to tell you how good it felt to be near him. I felt like I could finally breathe, after a month of holding my breath.
"Yeah. So there's this guy," I began and his facial expression went from relaxed to tense, and I began frantically shaking my head, "No, not like that. Well, kinda. But I don't like him or anything I just.. Okay, so I sit by him in Calculus, right? And we talk and we're friends and stuff. Well like five minutes ago he met me at my locker and he," I paused, scared to tell him the rest. I didn't want him to think I was doubting my feelings for him, because that wasn't the case. And the longer I stood here staring at Harry, the more I realized how dumb I was for even agreeing to that date. Why couldn't I have just let him walk away from me? "He asked me on a date, and I immediately said no, okay? I didn't want to go on a date with him, obviously, so I told him I was busy," I explained. He nodded his head for me to continue, probably wondering where this was going. "So then he got all sad, and I felt really bad. So I kind of told him I wasn't busy tomorrow, and that I'd go to the movies with him." I wrapped my arms around his neck now, hoping he wouldn't be mad at me.
"Oh, that's all?" His features visibly relaxed and I looked at him, perplexed.
"You don't care?" I was confused. Did he not care that I was going on a date with another guy? I would care if the situation were reversed, and he was going on a date with another girl.
"Well, like it's not like we're dating. You can see other guys," he said, and my heart broke a little bit. I thought we were in a mutual, unspoken agreement not to see other people. Has he been with other girls at all during the last four months? I found myself doubting everything again. Who called his phone earlier?
"Oh," I oh so cleverly said, not knowing what else to respond to that. I didn't expect this reaction. I thought he'd be angry with me, tell me not to go, and that he didn't want me seeing other guys. I didn't think he'd give me a free pass into dating any guy I wanted. And it hurt, I'm not gonna lie.
"Don't worry about me, Randi. Enjoy your high school experience. Just promise me you'll be waiting for me the day you graduate, okay?" He smiled, kissing my jaw, leading his way to my lips. I couldn't help but feel a little upset about this. Does he even care about me? Surely if he did, he wouldn't want me to be seeing a different guy?
"Okay," was my response, since I still had no idea what to say. He then began pulling my arms off from around his neck, and I felt a sting of rejection. Was he done with me? Was he sick of waiting? Did he find someone better, and older?
"You better go," he sighed, and I nodded my head, looking awkwardly at the ground.
"Yeah, sorry. See you later," I stated, not waiting for him to reply and immediately turning around and walking out of the classroom. After that weekend in February, I was so sure everything would be fine. But that experience in that classroom just changed all of that, and a thousand doubts were running through my head a million miles a minute.
I finally walked out of the school, and towards my car. I had absolutely nothing to do tonight at home, and it made me reconsider scheduling the 'date' for tomorrow.
As I got into the drivers seat of my Hummer and turned it on, I grabbed my phone and opened a message to Cameron.
"Hey, my plans got canceled. Wanna go out tonight instead?" I sent to him. I needed a distraction anyways, so I didn't think about that odd encounter with Harry.
I immediately got a response, "Sure. I'll pick you up in a few & we can go get something to eat then go to the movies. Sound good?"
Finally, someone who actually texts in full sentences. That's my kind of man.
I mean, not that I actually like him or anything. That's just an expression. I'm literally so sick of seeing people abbreviate words. Like, is it really that difficult to just finish the damn word? I don't think so.
Anyways, I went into my house and just sat on my kitchen stool, waiting for Cameron to show up. I then realized that I never replied to his text, nor did I give him my address. That might be kind of important. I quickly sent those and sat my phone on the counter. I was actually quite excited to go do something with someone other than Scottie and Mikey. I mean, I love them and all, but their lovey dovey relationship can get pretty sickening.
And it's not like I could hangout with Harry, and I don't have any other friends really. So yeah, I'm really popular.
I got a text on my phone and I opened it, expecting it to be Cameron replying to my text. It wasn't.
It was from 'Hottie Tamale'.
"I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I love you, Randi. 63 days. x"
To be honest with you, I didn't feel the butterflies I normally would if I had received that same text yesterday. I was kind of mad at him. And I know that's incredibly stupid, because I'm the one going on this 'date', and not him, but I didn't like his carefree attitude on the subject. He sounded like he was encouraging me to go, instead of being a normal boyfriend and trying to stop me.
But I guess he's not a normal boyfriend. He's not even my boyfriend at all, actually. We're not dating, just like he told me.
There was a knock on the door and I groaned, suddenly not in the mood to go anywhere. Why is my life so complicated? Why is Harry a teacher? Why am I a student? Why couldn't we be the same age and be a normal couple that does normal things?
I trudged to the door, swinging it open to reveal a grinning Cameron, with his hands stuffed in his pockets. I couldn't help but smile back at his happy mood.
"Hey," I greeted, gesturing him to come inside while I went to go put the jacket on that I took off less than five minutes ago. He followed me into the kitchen and stood there while I struggled to find the hole where my arms go in.
He laughed, walking toward me and grabbing my jacket to help me put it on. I thanked him and grabbed my purse, leading the way out my door. I locked it and he waited for me, before we walked to his car together. He was the perfect gentleman, holding the passenger side car door open for me while I clumsily sat in, proceeding to close the door.
He walked back around the car and sat in the driver's seat before pulling out of my driveway and taking off.
"So, where are we going to eat?" I asked, breaking the very uncomfortable silence that had started in the car. I wished he didn't consider this a 'date'. I wish we were just hanging out as friends. I didn't want to date anyone other than Harry. Even if he didn't care that I was dating someone else.
"This small diner just in town," he answered, turning up the heat as it was below freezing. I was grateful for the warm air that was flowing out of the vents.
I only nodded my head in response, turning my attention back to the window and watching all of the trees blur by as we passed.
I'm not sure if I've ever felt this awkward before in my life. Neither of us were talking, or even trying to talk. The radio wasn't on, and I didn't want to be the one to reach over and turn it up, so I didn't. Instead, I kept my gaze out the window, acting as if the silence didn't bother me, but it did.
I've never felt like this around Harry. He always made sure to make our time together the exact opposite of uncomfortable. We were always bantering during car rides, and if we weren't, the radio was at least on so it wasn't a complete awkward silence.
I need to stop thinking about Harry right now. I'm still mad at him.
Well, I guess 'mad' isn't exactly the correct word. I'm more upset than I am mad. Why didn't he seem to care? If he loved me so much, wouldn't he want me all to himself?
We finally pulled into a small parking lot, and when I looked up, I saw the familiar sign that read, "Auntie Sam's". The diner where I met Harry for the first time. Where he tripped over my chair, and fell on his ass, then proceeded to drop his number onto my plate like the ladies' man that he is. I looked down at my fingers as I fiddled them together, not realizing that Cameron had been looking at me. Probably to gauge my reaction to his choice of restaurant.
When I finally felt his stare, I looked up at him and he looked uncomfortable. What a surprise.
"What's wrong?" He asked me awkwardly, and that's when I realized that my face looked like someone just murdered my puppy. Wait, I don't have a puppy. Oh well, you get it.
"Oh, nothing!" I exclaimed quickly. Almost too quickly, so I fixed it by adding on, "I was just thinking, that's all. This place looks really nice," I smiled at him. I didn't wanna hurt his feelings by asking to go somewhere else, so I decided I'd just deal with it. And his happy and elated expression told me that I made a good decision.
We got out of the car, me opening my door before he got the chance to, and walked into the small diner together. I'm pretty sure he tried to put his arm around my shoulders, but I subtly stepped up my pace so that he didn't get the chance to. Smooth, Miranda.
The waitress led us to a small booth in the corner, and we both sat down and took our jackets off. I set mine in my lap before ordering a water and picking up the menu. I didn't know what I'd order. I kind of wanted pancakes for some unknown reason, even though it's like 4pm right now.
I think Cameron and I have spoken about three sentences this entire time. It quite sad, actually.
After we placed our orders, I decided to try and break the ice.
"So, have you been here before?" I asked, not really knowing how to start a conversation.
He nodded his head, taking a sip of his Pepsi before replying, "Yeah, I came here with my mum on her birthday a few months back. I thought it was nice, but haven't been back since. Have you been here?"
I almost told him that yeah, I have, but then I remembered his excited little face when he showed it to me, and so I lied, "No, I haven't actually. I've never heard of it before. It's cute."
"And their food is delicious, I've never had anything like it," he grinned, and I returned my best fake but natural looking smile I could give.
"Can't wait to try it," I answered, fiddling with the straw in my cup.
"So, why haven't we talked before, Randi?" He asked me and I flinched at the name. Why did he call me Randi? My automatic reaction to hearing that name is either admiration for Harry, or thinking that whoever else said it is in on the plan to break us apart. So this immediately made me suspicious.
"What'd you just call me?" I asked him cautiously. Maybe I heard it wrong?
"Randi," he looked at me, alarmed, probably since I looked like I was going to throw up.
"Wher- how did you know I go by that?" I asked him, praying that this isn't yet another person working with Hunter, Cassidy, and Chelsea. I honestly can't take my life anymore.
"I didn't, I just, my cousin's name is Miranda, and we all call her Randi, so it just kinda came out, I guess?" He said awkwardly, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or anything."
I shook my head, realizing how ridiculous I was being, but at the same time, I didn't want anyone else to call me Randi. That was Harry's nickname for me, and even though I hated it, and still do, I absolutely loved it when it came out of his mouth.
"It's fine, I know, I just- That's kind of a touchy name for me, so could you just call me Miranda, please? I'm sorry, I hate sounding like a bitch, but I-" He interrupted me.
"No, no I completely understand, I'm sorry for calling you that. It won't happen again," he smiled at me, and I smiled back.
Our food finally came, and once again, the silence engulfed us. I never realized how awkward things could be between a guy and a girl on a first 'date'. I don't remember it ever being this awkward between Harry and I at all. It was as if everything just came to us naturally.
I regretted ever agreeing to this, and I regretted texting him to move it to tonight. This wasn't distracting me from Harry at all, in fact it was doing quite the opposite and reminding me of Harry every few seconds.
When I finished my plate, I discreetly texted Scottie so he could get me out of this 'date'.
'SOS. Call me' I wrote in the message, sending it to him. I would pretend it was my mom or something, and that she's on her way home to visit, I don't know.
Sure enough, a few minutes later after the waitress came to our table to drop off the bill, my phone began ringing. I let it ring for a second, just to make sure Cameron heard it, before answering it.
"Hello?" I paused, as Scottie said, "What's wrong?" I ignored him and just continued on, acting as if it were my mom, "Hey mom!" Another pause, "Right now? Oh, yeah, um, yeah that's fine. No, I'm at home. Yeah, see you soon!" I said into the phone and looked at Cameron in mock panic.
"I hate to cut this short, but I really need to get home. Like right now. My mom's on her way to come visit and I'm supposed to be studying," I explained, trying to make it seem like I was sad and panicked, and really I was inwardly cheering. Oops.
"Oh yeah, sure. Let's go," he stated, getting out of the booth and leading me out of the restaurant, with his hand resting on the small of my back. I didn't like the way his hand felt. It was really small, and I couldn't feel the warmth through my t-shirt like I could with Harry's.
I let him lead me to his car, where he once again, opened the door for me. I thanked him when he got in on his side, before he peeled out of the parking lot.
The ride home was filled with, you guessed it, more silence. Did he not have any social skills at all? I mean, I'm an awkward person, yeah, but I've never seen anything like this before.
He pulled into my driveway and I couldn't be more grateful.
"Thank you for taking me to that restaurant, it was really nice," I smiled at him. I couldn't really compliment the date, because it sucked in all honesty, but I didn't want to just say goodbye and leave.
"No problem, I'm glad you liked it," he answered, grinning at me. I shot him a little smile, the best that I could do, before getting out of the car. I waved goodbye and sighed in relief as I unlocked my front door and went inside.
That was the absolute worst thing I've ever experienced. Note to self: Don't go on any 'dates' unless it's with a calculus teacher named Harry Styles.
I plopped myself down onto the couch, waiting for the phone call from Scottie that was bound to come. I knew he'd be asking for the details on what all of that was about.
While I waited, I scrolled through my texts, realizing that I hadn't answered Harry's yet, since I was upset with him earlier. I still am, but it's mostly been replaced by me missing him. And when I reread the text that he sent me earlier, the butterflies finally came.
"I love you too. X,' I replied, because I did. I just hoped he loved me enough to wait those 63 long days.