Here ya gooo :) Please let me know what you think and whether you like it or not. I loooveee feedback.
If you have any questions about me or this story, feel free to ask!
I still don't even know how I'm ending this, guys. I keep changing my mind D: And goodness my body is so sore from the concert I went to on Thursday. Do you know how many hills were at the venue? And they were like legit, steep hills, and I went up and down them like 4209485 times and yeah, my calves hurt really bad.
Okayyy enjoy :D
The day was here. Graduation was today, and I couldn’t feel more nervous. The day that I’ve been waiting for for so long is finally here, and I had no idea what I wanted to do.
I was sitting in the chair in my room, staring at the graduation gown that was currently laying out on my bed. I got it last week, and I still haven’t tried it on. I didn’t know if I wanted to go through with it. I didn’t have to walk, it was just an option. But did I want to?
I stared down at the ugly thing, the color resembling dirt. It was a dark brown color, for which I have no idea why. Neither of our school colors even resembles brown, so why they chose that color for our graduating gowns was beyond me.
I spun around in the chair, groaning at the decision I had to make. Go to graduation, and (hopefully) live happily ever after with Harry? Or skip graduation, and try things out with Cameron?
I knew the answer seemed obvious, just be with Harry and be happy. What’s stopping me?
Well, first of all, there’s the lie that he told me what felt like so long ago. I couldn’t get that out of my head. He lied to me, completely. He didn’t even tell me a fraction of the truth, he just told me a straight up lie and even had the audacity to say that the “movie” he was “watching” reminded him of me.
Then there’s my fear of rejection. What if he likes that girl at the beach more than me and decides that he isn’t going to show up tomorrow? How could I possibly handle that?
There’s also my hatred of our age gap. He’s 24 years old, and I’m still 17 until July. That’s 7 fucking years apart. If you take 7 years off of my age, I’d be 10 years old. When I was 10 years old he was 17. 7 years is a lot.
And I’m also moving to New York in September, and he still has absolutely no idea. What would he think of that? Would he just want to call the whole thing off, then? How can it work if I’m in New York and he’s here, in Holmes Chapel?
Those are all things that would be fixed if I chose to date Cameron. He’s my age, well, a year older than me but still, that’s better than 7 years. He’s moving to New York, so I don’t have to worry about the distance. He’s never lied to me. Or at least, I don’t think he has.
But the difference is, I love Harry and I don’t even know if I actually like Cameron as anything more than a friend. What if I choose Cameron, and end up regretting my decision and wanting Harry back? He wouldn’t possibly take me back after I so coldly rejected him.
But what if I choose Harry and he lies to me in the future? What if he cheats on me? What if I get myself in way too deep, and then I can’t ever leave because I love him so much but he continues to lie to me? I may be better off ending it now then trying to end it in a few months time when he lies to me again.
I spun around in the swirly chair, my eyes only leaving the graduation gown when it was out of my sight from spinning. When my chair slowed down, I stood up and grabbed the gown, holding it up in front of me. It wouldn’t hurt to try it on, would it?