12: The Day She Finished What She Started
Emil's POV
After that night, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I can't talk to anyone. I was ashamed of what I have done to Biya that rattled everyone. One wrong move from me and everything turned into a disaster. I don't want to feel attached to someone. Not right now. Not to my friends. Not even my family. They have enough in their plates and I didn't want to add more to it. I don't even want to hear anyone asking if I'm okay. Of course, I wasn't! I took a bath not caring to shave my growing stubble. I didn't care anymore. Fuck what other people say. I grabbed my black suit, and shoes and wore them. I combed my hair using my fingers before I grabbed my keys and phone before I went out of my room.
"Finally after three days- You're going already?" My mom asked when she saw me pass the living room. I stopped and turned to look at her.
"Yeah."
"But it's still early dear and you didn't have breakfast yet."
"I'll just grab something to eat outside." I replied and she sighed with a sad smile. She came to me with her open arms before those arms enveloped me in a tight embrace.
"Oh how I wish I can do something more to help you. I hate to see you this way." She said rubbing my back while I just stood there. Yes, there's nothing that she can do to help me. I'm the only one that can help myself. Well, that's what I know. I didn't want to say and promise to her that I'll be fine because I doubt that will happen but then, she won't let me go knowing I'm so down.
"Time heals everything." I just said and she agreed. She took a step back pulling out of our hug and smiled at me.
"Let me know if you need anything, okay?" I nodded.
"Okay." She touched my cheek before smiling.
"Take care, darling. Your father will be here for dinner." She informed me. Great... He's back from his vacation with his friends. He would talk to me again about this love life shit. I didn't want to. He had talked to me about it when Biya and I separated. It seems like history is repeating itself. I sighed.
"Okay mama. I'm going now. Bye!"
"Bye darling." She smiled at me once more before I went out of my house. I got into my car and sped off. I talked to my staff about my behavior three days ago. I was grateful that they understood my attitude and forgave me. Then, I summoned the one I yelled at to my office.
"What is it, chef?" She asked as I sat on my seat that was located at the middle together with my mahogany table.
"Please take a seat, Mrs. Turturici." I said and she nodded smoothing her white skirt before she sat.
"I want to apologize to you personally for my behavior a few days ago. It was very unprofessional of me." I expected for her to frown, instead, she smiled like a loving mother that she is.
"Apology accepted. All of us know you are in a tough position right now and we understand."
"What do you mean by that?" I clasped my hands together and rested my chin on it as I leaned to my seat waiting for her to answer.
"Well, we observed your actions, chef. As a mother, I know now when someone is restless or is stressed out. I witnessed that first hand with my children and they would get angry blaming the world about their problems." She chuckled before she continued.
"You have a problem, sure, and everybody does. We find it hard to release it so we put it out to somebody. I understand that so it's not a problem. But..." She cut her explanation and I knew she was watching her words with me. She didn't want me to burst out considering I'm in such a vulnerable position right now. I leaned towards her and just watched her.
"But what?"
"I think you should try to maintain your cool and refrain from bursting out then shutting yourself down, sir." Ha! I wanted to laugh at the irony of her suggestion because I think that's what I am doing right now.
"Why?" She shifted on her seat so I leaned back to relax my posture trying not to intimidate her.
"Because if you always do that sir, you will have no one left. People tend to leave someone who always push them away because they feel like they are not important to that person anymore." Was she suggesting for me to not give up and talk to people more? Was she suggesting to not push Biya away? I didn't know what to do.
"Thank you for this." She smiled at me sweetly.
"No problem, sir. If you want someone to talk to, we're all here for you. You're not alone. We can fight this."
"But this is my personal fight, Mrs. Turturici." I pointed and she nodded.
"And you'll fight your personal battle. We're here to support you." She said.
"Okay. Thank you."
"You're welcome, sir." After that, I dismissed her and she went back to work. I was left there thinking of what she had said. It was great that I kind of opened up to her but maybe they'll think I'm weak. Having my emotions get the best of me might make others see I'm vulnerable. I took a deep breath and stood up. Releasing it, I faced the window and looked out to the world. I have to be strong, I said to myself. I cannot let this terrible storm of emotions get in the way. She said it herself. I have others that are there to make me better. Damn it! This is hard. I have never depended to others. Not like this. I helped others get back on their feet to start a new life. I helped Em be successful and that's understandable because I treated her like my sister. I have searched around the world for people who are in need and have talent and gave them a job. I am always the one who is helping others but now, it's not the case. I'm the one who needs help. Life is full of surprises. The one who helps those who are in need now needs help. The irony! Then, I remembered Biya again. That beautiful woman with a fearless attitude who captured me the moment I saw her. I knew right away that she has a good life now but when I saw her eyes, I saw the haunted memories she had. She was molded from her past and she was now this brave woman. I had the instinct to protect her. I wanted to take care of her. And now, she can take care of herself. She doesn't need anyone now. Well, except someone that can treat her like a queen. I had my fists tight just thinking of her and that Ezekiel. I wanted her to get out of my mind. I have to do something to make everything that we had go away. Without a thought, I grabbed my keys and my phone and got out. My staff can manage now without me so I've got no problem with them. I was only there now to guide them every now and then and introduce new recipes to them.
"I'm going out, Martina." I informed my secretary who was sitting on a stool next to the table at the corner where another chef was chopping carrots. She looked at me surprised and checked her notepad.
"Do you have an emergency meeting, sir?"
"None. I just want to go out. Record the messages as usual and just call me for urgent matters." She nodded.
"Of course sir."
"Bye sir!" My staff said and I spotted Mrs. Turturici smiling at me. I nodded at her and she nodded back before I pushed the double doors and got out of my restaurant. Paparazzi were there but I quickly got into my car and sped off. I drove and drove until I reached the destination I doubted to go. I parked my car and just stayed inside my car. I wore my shades and wore a cap on my head. I was a fucking stalker. I became a stalker because of her. I never looked at someone and watched out for someone except her. She's different from the other girls I was involved with. Today is her graduation day. I'm fucking proud of her. She went through so much because of her dream. I had witnessed her pulling all- nighters, crying because she's worried she can't memorize everything or the level of difficulty her subject is in, and those days and nights she would eat so much just to cope up with the stress and tiredness she's feeling. I was there to support her. I was there and not Ezekiel who's come and running right now for her. I checked the time and I think they have started. I shrugged off the jacket of my suit, took off my tie and pulled my cap lower. With my aviator glasses, I think I won't be seen. I just have to blend it. I got out of my car and locked it. I hurried inside the university and took a sit at the far bench so she won't see me. The program was about to start and people's voices were turning into murmurs. Then, the emcee stepped in and started the ceremony. I searched for her and the Moretti's. Her parents were at the reserved part where parents and guardians were seated. I cannot see the man I envied but I saw my best friend Gio, Percyla who I saw has now this visible baby bump, her driver Jared, the owner of the pastry shop she loves named Mister Ilario, and even Gabriel and Caralei were there. I should be there right now sitting in the front row if I had not messed up but hey, at least I got a sit to witness her finish what she had started. The music started and graduates began to start marching. I saw her marching down with a big smile on her face. I took my phone out and began taking pictures of her just like the rest of her loved ones were doing. When the time the guest speaker would deliver his speech, I settled on my sit and waited for it to finish. However, my mood dropped when I saw who the guests speaker is. It's Ezekiel. Fucker. I clenched my jaw and I have to endure his presence in front of me for long minutes as he delivered his message. Just seeing him gave me bad vibes. I let out a breath of relief when he was finished and when the students lined up to receive their diplomas, I realized that Ezekiel will also help distribute diplomas. He will shake her hand. I gripped the edge of the bench tightly as they began. I waited until I heard her name. Beatrice Kairis. Even her name is beautiful itself. When she went up the stage to receive it, it ached that Ezekiel would be the one to give her the diploma. Call me overprotective but I just didn't want him to touch her. My chest hurt in happiness and in pain. I'm happy for her and I'm also hurt that I'm not there for her. The way he looked at her was not a friendly one. He wanted her. After the ceremony, I quickly exited the building and went to my car. I stayed there for a few minutes to control myself from going to her to congratulate her. I was about to start my engine when I saw her parents pass by. Shit! They're walking this way. In front of me. I leaned on my seat and went down as low as possible. I pushed my cap down so I can't see them and no one can see me. I can't risk it. Then I heard her laughter. That joyous laughter she has made me take a peek. She had taken her toga off and her hat. She wore this tight hugging black dress that hugged her curves and she's beautiful and sexy at the same time. Her friends are with her and also our friends. Then Gabriel spotted me and Gio also noticed. Well, they recognized my car. Shit. Gio excused himself and let his wife go first while Gabriel talked to Caralei. The ladies both nodded before they walked away. I scrambled from my seat and put my cap on my face and pretended that I was asleep. I heard them knock on my window repeatedly and I didn't respond. Those tapping sounds they made never stopped.
"I know your car, idiot." I heard Gio say. I sighed and I took the cap off my face and sat straight. I rolled the window down and Gabriel raised his brow at me.
"What the hell are you doing? You could have been spotted." He said.
"I wasn't." Gio looked left and right before letting out a breath.
"You really should stop this, man." The soon- to- be- a- father spoke.
"And I will. I am doing my best to forget her." They frowned.
"I'm sorry that it was to be this way." Gio being the softhearted one within the three of us say.
"Yeah..."
"So you were there?" Gabriel leaned into my car.
"Yeah."
"I thought you're forgetting her. You're just hurting yourself and also her. You have hurt her enough. She's now my sister- in- law because she's like a sister to Percyla even though they have not adopted her officially," Yeah, they have not because she wanted to keep her surname. She told me it was the only thing left from her original family and we all understood that.
"And with that, I have the conflict to be like the referee to the both of you."
"Sorry I got you into this. I love her."
"I understand... Man! This is hard!" He chuckled running his fingers through his hair.
"Yeah. It's fucked up." Gabriel added.
"So what's the sense of coming here to see her when you try to forget her?" He asked and Gio waited for me to answer. It's hard when you get toasted by these two. They will kill you with their eyes.
"I'm trying to see her every day and make myself realize that she doesn't need me anymore."
"Masochist." Gabriel commented making me chuckle.
"So you are saying you will be looking at her everyday like a stalker and beat yourself over it? That's not a good move, man."
"Well, I think it is. By seeing her, I'll make myself hate her." That surprised them.
"What do you mean?" Gabriel looked at me in curiosity.
"Just looking at her getting better without me makes me want to put distance with her. Just looking at her with another man will make me hate her."
"Hate her? Hate her because she moved on and you still don't?"
"Yeah."
"You're beating yourself up, man. Just find another woman to replace her."
"That's not easy to do, Gabriel. Maybe someday I will but I have to hate her first."
"So you're hating each other. Wow! What a world you two are living."
"Yeah. My world is hell." I commented and they both shook their heads in disagreement. It's my solution to this. I have to forget every feeling of affection I have for her. I have to finish what we have started. We have started it with love and it will end up in hate. I will hate her to the point that I don't want to even remember her. I have to hate her for putting these emotions that twisted me up and attached me to her. I have to hate her to save myself and her from hurting more.
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