Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed. Most of my days recently have been like that.
I mean, I can't remember the last time everything was right with the world.
Actually my world was two steps away. Since then I've been to a wooded dimension between existences and now I'm stuck in some kind of crazy apocalyptic possible future, being shot at by a bear in a skin tight Judge suit, that I'm pretty sure used to be a good friend of mine.
Even before the wood, things had screwed up big time because of a foolish deal I made with the Asgardian trickster god Loki. You would've thought that the nickname 'trickster' might maybe, somehow have tipped me off a tiny bit that taking this guy's coin was a bad idea, but y'see at the time I couldn't think past my di ... that is to say, I was more concerned with impressing my hot girlfriend. Also comparative mythology is not really on my reading list. I'm more your Top Gear or Loaded Magazine type. GQ if you want to get a little more intellectual and cultured.
But hindsight is a bitch - now I'm smarter and all I want to do is turn back the clock to being the respected boss at the Lucky Cactus Casino-Resort, with a glass of whiskey in one hand and my girl Jessica in the other. I'd even settle just for her looking at me nice once in a while and not me being, oh ... an international fugitive wanted on changes of terrorism and embroiled in the machinations of Asgardian gods and glass cats, trying my best to prevent a prophesied Armageddon which I have somehow found myself in the middle of anyway!
But according to a mysterious quantum probability cat and a Victorian traveller I know, there is an out. Fine! Let's get to that bit because I want a refund on my life and hell, I've learnt my lesson so why won't the cosmos give me a break? I'd even appreciate good old Tortoise a lot ... a little more.
'HARE! MOVE YOUR SKINNY ARSE!'
*The Hare's internal monologue comes crashing to an end as Goldie dives at his legs, knocking him out of the path of fire from Judge Bear. A shot that would have exploded his head passes harmlessly over him.
Up on the wall Judge Anderson has arrived on her skimcycle and is hovering in the air above LB yelling at him to stand down.
The Magic Mirror chooses that moment to re-materialize in Jessica's compact, babbling in a state of terror about seeing his own dead future self along with the corpse of Dorian Grey. 'The apple did it!' he screams, with all evidence of traumatic shock, 'The apple with a goatee!!'
SC immediately takes command and orders their retreat back into the avenue of broken cars and out of sight of the wall. 'We've seen enough here. We can't go south into the city or back north. Head east and keep to the barriers for now.'
The others follow.
*Note - an evil apple with a goatee? Could it possibly be ... and how could Henri get to... well, this is only a possible future so things could still change. Check out INVASION FROM THE APPLEVERSE for Henri's current activities.