Chapter 63 Extinguisher
Alexa's POV
It was easy to escape reality for a little while but soon enough, I was sitting on a plane with my head against Noah's shoulder. I felt melancholy about the entire thing and I knew for sure that Noah did too. Our vacation was great after we managed to get through some arguments and moments of weakness. I'd taken Aaron to get a souvenir shark tooth just like we planned and afterwards, we visited the aquarium, just me and the kid...having the best time ever. I went with Sawyer out to lunch while the rest of our family was napping. We talked and talked and both of us ended up with tears in our eyes, Saw apologizing a hundred times for pushing me away. We talked about my self-harm and how he just couldn't handle it when he found out. He'd shut me out and pretending like everyone else, that I was fine. I couldn't blame him for doing that because I totally understood him. I understood the urge to pretend like nothing is wrong, and just try to move forward, taking it day by day.
I got restless as we walked the parking garage, trying to recall where we parked the cars. Finally we found them on the third level, everyone tired and dragging. Aaron was practically sleepwalking, Ben having to guide his body to my mom's car. I turned to Noah, looking up at into tired eyes to see worry resting in them. As he looked down at me, I grew nervous, his lips parting to speak.
"Lex...I think I need to ride with my dad. I just need to talk to him, okay? He hasn't been himself the whole trip and I think it's time for me to just talk to him. I need to get some things out." He explained, voice hushed as his fingers grazed against my chin.
I nodded, standing on my tiptoes to peck his lip, startled by the sound of Uncle Nick's car horn. Noah turned around, shaking his head at his dad's dumb joke of trying to scare us at this hour. Uncle Nick hadn't been the same on the trip which was reasonable considering he was going through the beginning stages of a separation, his wife finding out about his affair with Noah's mother. Part of me wanted to protect Noah from them but I knew they were his family and he needed to work things out with them.
"Go ahead, Noah. I'm totally fine riding with my family. I want you to work things out." I nodded, reassuring him as I gave him a little nudge in the direction of his father's car.
He took a couple tentative steps but I watched as his body stilled, spinning around on his heels and running up to me so fast that I nearly couldn't comprehend what he was doing. His large hand reached out, grabbing either side of my face, fingertips tangling in my hair as his face neared me. I closed my eyes as his hot lips pressed against mine, moving slowly and delicately against mine. It wasn't one of those mind blowing kisses you see on TV. No, it was just Noah reassuring me, reminding me of his love before he pecked my forehead and turned around.
"I love you, baby." He said over his shoulder and I stood there in that carpark, just watching him, wondering how I'd managed to get so lucky.
He climbed into his dad's car and after a moment, realizing that I was just standing there staring, I quickly hopped into my mom's SUV. Not even five minutes into the drive, Aaron's head fell in my lap and I played with his blonde waves as he slept, my mind still on my tall, lanky lover. I wondered if he'd work things out with his parents and I grew nervous as we approached my house. I wondered if Cole would be there and something was telling me he wouldn't be. My heart ached at the thought of him getting hurt, but I didn't know what else to do. My mother turned around from the passenger seat, her tired eyes meeting mine.
"Lex...It'll be okay. We'll take care of it. I promise."
I nodded, taking my mother for her word because I knew deep down, if she promised something, she'd fight until her last dying breath to make sure she kept it. I knew that I would fight for Cole, not letting anything get in my way.
He has to be okay.
If he's not okay, I never truly will be.
Noah's POV
"Dad, I need to know what the hell is going on. This is my family too. Is mom going to be home when we get back? Is she going to be there waiting on us? I mean, are the two of you together? Are you..."
"God, Noah. I don't know! Can we not talk about this right now?" he grumbled, mirroring my stubbornness and unwillingness to say what needed to be said.
We really are so much alike.
"Dad, please. I just want to know what's going on. I want to know if every day I'm going to come home to a mom and dad, a dad and stepmom, or a single dad. I want to know what the hell is going on. I deserve that much. I deserve to know..."
"How am I supposed to tell you if I don't know myself, Noah? I'm trying with everything I have in me. I made a terrible mistake...but I can't bring myself to regret it. That's so wrong. I know it is, Noah, but I love your mother. I love everything about her. She brought me a family...She brought me you and she knows me like no other. I want to be with your mother but..."
"But, what? Why didn't you divorce Cassie if you had these feelings? I thought you loved Cassie, dad."
"I do...goddammit." He sighed, banging his palm against the steering wheel.
"Dad...what do you want?"
"I don't know. I don't know, Noah. I think maybe we should get away. Maybe we should move, Noah. Maybe we could leave and just go live somewhere new...We could pack up..."
"Dad, have you lost your mind? I'm not moving anywhere. I'm not leaving Lex. I can't."
"I know." he whispered, glancing over at me.
I could see that he was only spouting off crazy ideas, trying to run away from all his problems. I knew deep down he didn't mean what he was saying. If he did, we'd have some problems.
"You know...I was so in love with Leigh when I was younger. I thought she was the one for me. I loved her with everything in me and she was my first ever love. Then your mother came around and...she was beautiful. She was everything I should have wanted, but I was still so hung up on Leigh."
"What does this have to do with me, dad?"
He looked at me knowingly as I caught on to what he was saying. My heart practically stopped, my body temperature rising as I picked up on the point he was trying to make.
"Dad...I'm not you and Lex...she's not Leigh. It's not the same. I'm not going to love anyone like I love her. There's....no one else, dad. Nobody!" I shouted, getting riled up after he'd said the words, trying to convince him of what I already knew.
"Noah, I see the way you are with Lex. I know you love her but you have to think rationally. She has to be able to return that same love you give. She has to be able to give you what I know you're looking for."
"She does dad!"
He sighed, shaking his head slowly.
"She doesn't give you what Meg can give you."
"What?" I asked, my chest now heaving up and down.
I knew my blood pressure was rising and my face was turning a red color as I faced my dad, wondering how he could even say something so cruel. Lex might not give me as much as Meg did, but love is one department she's not lacking in. I couldn't believe my dad would turn this all around on me, shifting the conversation...Actually, I could believe it.
"Noah, all I'm saying is; Meg loved you. I thought I was in love with Leigh...I was in love with her, but you can't be blinded by that. You have to be with someone who is available and loves you as much as you love them. Don't get mad, Noah. I know you know that I'm right."
"Like hell I do. You couldn't be with Leigh because she was in love with Uncle Ray!"
"And you don't think Lex is in love with..."
"Don't you dare fucking say that." I began threatening him, knowing we were about to have a big blown out fight in the car.
"Noah, you won't listen to anything I say."
"Because you are wrong! I love Lex and she loves me. It's not the same as what you went through. I love her so much that just the thought of being with anyone else breaks my fucking heart. I will never be with Meg again and I'll never be with any other girl again. I'm not going to stop loving her and no matter what you say, it won't change the fact that I'm going to stick with her until my last dying breath. If....If she leaves me, I'll get her back. If she stops loving me, I'll make her fall in love with me again. I'll never stop."
"Noah, I just don't want you hurt. I don't want you waking up one morning only for her to break you again...only for her to tell you that she's gone back to him. I don't want you ending up...like me." he admitted and my temper diminished, my body relaxing at the sincerity of his voice.
"Dad...It's not too late."
"I think it is, son."
"No. It's not too late. There's still time. You can get the divorce from Cassie and...you can get my mom back. You can still try. You can..."
"Noah..." he quieted me, shaking his head from side to side, looking back up at me.
"She's already in love with that Malcolm guy. She went back to him."
My heart ached, the pain in my dad's eyes so prominent and familiar. I'd seen him broken hearted before. He almost never seemed happy and I know I blame him for everything, but my mother did this too.
He made a mistake.
"Dad...If you love her, why would you give up? This Malcolm guy...he's nobody. You're my dad and you always taught me to never give up, to fight for what I want. I'm doing that, so why aren't you?"
A/N
My heartttttt </3 Vote, share, comment, and check out my story 'Demolition Expert.'
Warning: You might want tissues for the next chapter. This is a legitimate warning. I'm not joking in any way. This story is serious and it's going to get ugly. I'm sorry. xx.
Faith <3