“What?” Connor asks in disbelief.
“I Quit.” I repeat simply, the little shadow of doubt I had in my mind completely gone by now.
All of the guys stare at me with their mouths wide open, not quite believing the words that were coming out of my mouth.
“Can you just quit?” Jace asks aloud.
“No you can’t. It’s not exactly the type of job where you can just hand in your two weeks’ notice.” Connor replies to him, only his eyes were on me like he was reminding me that getting out of this life was not easy. It was damn near impossible.
I shrug “I don’t care. I’m not doing this anymore. I never wanted this life in the first place, and Drake being replaced and forgotten in a heartbeat is the last straw. I’m not wasting the rest of my life working for that bastard.”
“He didn’t seem that bad.” Josh piped in, his cluelessness obvious by his tone.
“Shut up Josh.” Connor quickly tells him, before turning to look at me as if he hadn’t even spoken “Faith you do realise that you cannot walk away from this. Ed will never let you. Do you not remember the ultimatum he gave you when he recruited you?”
“What ultimatum?” Josh asks.
“Shut up Josh.” I dismiss him before replying to Connor “I know it won’t be easy, and I know he would rather see me dead that walk away from this. I don’t know how I’m going to do it yet but I have never been more sure of anything else in my life, and I’m going to walk away and make sure that no one else I love dies because of my stupid mistakes.”
My tone cracks at the end of my sentence as everyone realises what I was getting at. No one else was going to die because of me, Drake already had and I was not going to let it happen again.
Connor’s eyes show sympathy as he looks at me “That wasn’t your fault.”
I shake my head, not wanting to have this conversation again “Doesn’t matter how many times people say that it doesn’t help because I know it’s a lie.”
Connor went to open his mouth to protest again but I cut him off “I’m getting out.”
Chris spoke this time “You know that the only way Ed will let you walk away is over his dead body Faith.”
My expression turns deadly serious as I reply “If that’s what it’s going to take, then so be it.”
Chris and Connor look at me with grave expressions, knowing that by the sound of my voice I was being completely serious. They could see what lengths I would go to get out of this life.
“Are we planning some sort of secret mission?” Josh asks with excitement, like a little kid in a toy shop.
“Shut up Josh.” The rest of us say in unison.
“When?” Connor asks, not having to elaborate because I knew exactly what he meant.
“Not yet. There’s something I have to do first.” I tell them, my mind already working out the plan. There was some unfinished business I had before I left, and I was going to finish it even if it was the last thing I did.
Connor and Chris nodded, already figuring out what I had in mind.
“Well, let us know when you wanna do this so we can gear up and plan it out.” Connor said.
I remained quiet as I looked at him before I shook my head slightly. His eyes angered over as he realised what I was trying to say.
“Oh hell fucking no, you do this you are not doing it on your own!” Connor blew up suddenly, realising that I had no intention of letting any of them help me.
“I can’t let you help me.” I tell them simply.
“To hell you can’t, there is a slim chance that we will make it out of this alive with all of us let alone if you went in there guns blazing on your own!” Chris chimed in, showing me he felt exactly the same as Connor.
“And that is exactly why I can’t let you help me.” My voice grows louder “No one is else is going to fucking die because of me!”
Connor walks over until he is almost up in my face, his jaw clenched as the determination in his eyes was vivid “That is our choice Faith. You cannot do this on your own, and we are coming with you.”
My eyes were like stone as I looked at him “No.”
He growled in anger and did the Connor thing to do, which was to beat up the furniture when he got angry. He kicked the dining table hard causing it to jump a good few feet. He turned back to me and pointed in my face.
“I am not letting you go on your own to get yourself killed; I’ve already lost one friend this week I do not want to lose another one!” His voice would have made a normal person finch, but I just remained still and looked at his face, cocking my head slightly as the sympathy and gratitude filled me.
“I know you want to protect me Con, but I can’t let you do it. I’m the one who wants out of this life, and I am doing it on my own because I am not letting anyone else get caught up in my mess. I don’t care how much of the furniture you smash up, I am not changing my mind.”
I swear I actually heard his teeth grind together as he took in my words, and just as he was about to explode once again Jace piped in and walked in between us.
“Look, we can talk about this later okay.” He spoke trying to calm us both down, looking in between us but both Connor and I were still glaring at each other. “Faith, you said you have something else to do before you make any plans about this anyway, so let’s just leave it at that for now. We can talk about this once you do that. Okay children?”
Connor kept his gaze on me for a while longer, before he slowly took a step back and shook his head. From the expression on his face I knew he was not letting this drop, but the thing is neither was I and let’s face it, the woman always gets her own way.
I know he wanted to help, and I know he was doing this because we were like family but I could not let them put their lives at risk because of me. If I died trying to get out, then it would be my fault. I wouldn’t be dragging anyone else down with me.
I took my eyes off Connor and looked at Chris, who was staring at me with the same look as Connor. His face was like stone, and I could see the anger in his eyes.
“Do whatever you have to do now, but I’m with him…” Chris gestures to Connor “…I’m not letting you do this on your own.”
I didn’t reply and just looked back at them, knowing that there was no way I was going to let them do it. I didn’t have a full on plan yet, but I knew whatever I cooked up I had to do it fast and secret so they had no idea. I loved these two like family, and I would do anything to protect them.
It’s as simple as that.
The silence around the kitchen lasted for a few seconds as the tension seeps around the air, everyone in this room more stubborn than their own good. Finally, someone broke the silence.
“Um…anyone want any coffee?” Josh asks, obviously trying to get himself in the conversation and ease the tension. Every single person turned to look at him with daggers in their eyes. His eyes widened in fear a little at our gaze before he smiles timidly and suggests “…’Shut up Josh?’”
Jace nods at him, telling him he got it spot on.
**
So far I had two things on my to do list.
1. Kill Rob Dixon.
2. Get the fuck out of this life.
When I list it like that it seems pretty straight forward.
Unfortunately it was anything but that. Number 1 on the list would be more straight forward than number 2, but still it’s going to be more trouble than its worth. Although killing that son of a bitch will be worth it in the long run, I was sure of that.
Number 2 was the one that seemed near enough impossible. Not only did I have to figure out how I was going to escape without being killed by Ed, or Ed killing anyone else I loved, I also now had to come up with a plan behind Chris and Connor’s backs so the idiots didn’t get themselves killed because of me.
I now understand why people drink heavily to forget their troubles.
I slipped on a pair of light ripped skinny jeans and a black tank top, knowing I would be able to move around easily in it. I grabbed my black leather jacket off the chair in my room and put it on, un tucking my hair out of the neck as I turned around.
I jumped slightly as I saw Jace stood leaning against the door frame, a faint smirk on his lips.
“Jesus, you’re getting better at the whole creeping around thing.” I tell him, taking a small breath as I realised he honestly scared the crap out of me just now.
His smirk widened as he pushed himself off the door and walked over to me slowly, his eyes drifting down and then back up as if to take me in.
“What can I say, living in a house full of assassins really helps you improve your ninja skills.” He replies, and a small smile appears on my lips.
He finally reaches me, his eyes connecting with mine as he slides his hands along my hips before wrapping them around my lower back. The tingles rush through my skin at him being this close, like they always did.
“You’re about as ninja as my great aunt Gloria.” I mutter, my voice coming out lower than expected.
The corner of his mouth twitches as his eyes land on my lips “I’ve met aunt Gloria remember? I wouldn’t want to mess with that woman and that wooden stick of hers.”
“Why do I have a feeling that you’re about to make a joke about another wooden stick?” I ask him, dragging my eyes from his lips and glancing down for a second “Which is poking me as we speak.”
He was full on smirking now as he moved his face closer, his lips brushing mine ever so slightly “I wasn’t going to say any such thing, but now that you mention it…”
He closes the distance between us and kisses me. I instantly close my eyes at the feel of his lips moving against mine, relaxing immediately as he pulls me closer to his body. I wrap my arms around his neck as I tangle my hands at the back of his hair, biting his bottom lip slightly causing him to groan against my mouth.
His hand which was on my lower back slides down until he is cupping my behind, and in one swift movement he lifts me off the ground causing my legs to wrap around his waist and walks to the desk, placing me on top of it as he continues to make my whole body weak at the feel of his kiss.
My hand went to the hem of his top before I slid my fingers inside, feeling up his torso slowly and then back down until I slipped my fingers into the waistband of his jeans. He let out another groan and his hand which was brushing up my thigh tightened as I teased my way along the lines of the V on his stomach.
“We might wanna close the door.” I tell him in between kisses, knowing I should pull away but finding it physically impossible right now.
“Huh huh.” He moaned against my mouth, not showing any sign he was about to move anytime soon as his hands were now sliding up my hips, his thumbs brushing the sides of my breasts causing my own moan.
“No really Jace, I think we would give poor Josh a heart attack.” To be fair, I wasn’t much better than him. Instead of moving towards the door, I pulled him closer by the waist of his boxers until I could feel his erection against me.
“Or a boner.” Jace suggested breathlessly, deepening the kiss once again. I smiled against his mouth at his words, before I once again got distracted and pulled him closer still, until he thrust up against me and the sound that came out of my mouth was a little louder than I expected.
I had to get him to shut the door before I really went past the point of no return.
I pushed him away reluctantly, and he narrowed his eyes at me playfully as he got the hint.
He raised his hands in front of him “Okay, Okay.” He walked over to the door and shut it quickly, turning back to me with a mocking smile on his face “Happy now?”
I grinned back at him, showing a full set of teeth as I nodded like a child. He laughed slightly, shaking his head in embarrassment for me. He walked back over to me, his eyes darkening once again as we both remembered the reason the door needed to be shut in the first place.
He placed his hands on my hips and gave me a genuine smile, which I returned. “See once we get out of here we won’t have to worry about shutting any doors.”
I instantly froze as I heard his words, all the desire and need I felt a minute ago washed away as I realised what he had just said. Then the guilt washed through me as I realised how much I have led him on.
He must have felt the change in me because he moved his head back slightly and looked at me questioningly “Faith?”
My mouth opened and closed slightly as I tried to find the right words, knowing that no matter how I said it I would sound like a bitch. I knew last night that getting into bed with him was selfish, because he could never have normal life with me. I was leading him on because even though I wanted nothing more than to be with him, I was not going to put his life in danger because of me.
He had asked me to run away with him before in the church basement, and I told him it was impossible.
Now that I had told him I was getting out, he had obviously thought I meant with him.
As much as I wanted that to happen, I knew I would never do that to him.
“Faith no offence love but I can’t really carry on with you sitting there frozen like that. That’s a little too necrophilia for me.”
“I’m going on my own.” I blurted out, knowing I had to tell him now before this went any further.
Turns out my to do list was a lot more complicated than I first anticipated.
.