Beau's POV:
Mum woke me up and I pulled myself out of bed and to the bathroom. When I was done in there, I went to get dressed. After finding myself distracted by a toy I hadn't seen in ages that had been stored in the bottom of my wardrobe, I eventually got my clothes on (black cotton dungarees with a purple t-shirt underneath, one of my favourite outfits apart from maybe that one dress).
I ate breakfast in the car on the way to Phil's and then at Phil's I had more breakfast with the Watson brothers. I like them all. Techno is tall and sometimes a bit scary but when he stops pretending to be moody all the time, I realise his brain is just a bit like mine. Wilbur is always talking about music or playing music; this morning he showed me videos of them playing at the festival. Oh and Phil got mad at him for showing me the song that had a lot of swearing in.
Tubbo is calm and quiet and it makes me feel like I can be calm and quiet too which is nice. But I think sometimes you can see in his eyes and smile that he wants to say something stupid and funny, but he doesn't think he can. I want to tell him I know he can, but I don't know how. And Tommy is my best friend in the entire world. He says everything and nothing and both are brilliant. I can't wait to go to school with him in September and have a best friend at school.
After breakfast, Phil got me and Tommy in the car (well I got myself in) and drove us to the drama camp. James was stood right by the door when we went in and I liked him. He's really good at music and he understands Tommy even when Tommy isn't being very clear. And the best part is that he's funny and he laughs at Tommy's jokes. Lots of the other people there don't, because they don't get them but that feels like a stupid excuse and they should just get better. Maybe. Or maybe that's mean. Sorry.
When my brain gets like this and can't keep itself on one thought, I feel like I'm going to get told off. Mostly because that's what used to happen. Not with Mum though. She gets it; the doctors just say it's never my turn to be tested. Tommy got his autism diagnosis really quickly though. I think that's because Phil and Kristin payed for it. Mum says we don't have the money for things like that. Actually we didn't have the money for drama camp, Phil and Kristin said they'd feel more comfortable if Tommy already knew someone there and offered to pay for me to go. I'm very happy they did. But Mum doesn't know I know that was what happened. She thinks I still think that she got the money from nowhere. I'm not that stupid; my brain just runs at a different speed to everyone else's and they can't keep up. (I also can't slow down, but it's as much their fault as it is mine.)
No one at drama camp tells me off when my brain is too fast for them. They just ask me to try explaining it in a different way. I prefer it when people do that: it makes it feel less my fault. Mum does remind me it's never my fault (apart from when I'm just trying to be annoying) but it never sinks in properly. Maybe that's my fault too.
This morning, we were working on the scenes we did yesterday afternoon. Tommy and I are in the same group and we are doing a little scene about how aliens would only eat hotdogs, well, that's my bit. Each group got a random scene that is completely made up and our's is about aliens. There's 5 of us and we all get our chance to say what we think aliens would be like. But you have to actually act it out, you can't just say it normally. My bit is about how if aliens did really exist, they would only eat hot dogs, because my character really likes hot dogs.
Then after lunch, we learnt the second song, but we learnt the dancing part first. There isn't a lot of dancing, just a lot of movement; they feel like very different things to me but maybe they're not for everyone else. We are doing 'When I grow up' from Matilda the musical and it's awesome. We got organised into little groups based on yesterday's singing and each group sings a little bit of a verse and then we all sing the chorus. Tommy took one look at the dancing and just slumped to the floor.
James explained that because his body and brain don't communicate very well, things like dancing were difficult for him.
"But he finds signing easy, and that's just dancing for the hands that has more meaning." James looked at me with a shocked expression I didn't really understand. I stared blankly back.
"That's a good point, but maybe Tommy just doesn't like dancing. Would you prefer to sign the song if Sienna taught you how?" He nodded and stimmed with a sensory toy James gave him.
Sienna recorded a video of the signs for the whole song in one of the classrooms whilst we sat with Amber, talking to her because no one else really knew much sign. I wasn't very good at doing it, but I was quite good at understanding someone else's signs. James just stepped in and helped if something went wrong which was good because sometimes things did go wrong and I got very stressed about making them worse very quickly. We were taking a break anyway, so it wouldn't matter to anyone else if something went wrong, but it would matter to me. It would matter very much to me.
Sue's POV:
I opened the front door, and welcome Tommy and Phil in. "He's got swimming so we haven't got long but these two are desperate to play."
I got the two of us a cold drink whilst Tommy and Beau busied themselves in her room, playing some board game I'd forgotten I'd got at the charity shop last week.
"How have you been?" I paused.
"Sorry?"
"I said, how have you been?" Phil repeated, smiling as he sipped his drink.
"Yea, umm, well, you know the normal stuff."
"Got everything ready for September?"
"Nearly, I'm going to have to try and find a black blazer and work out how to do those patches because those school branded ones cost an arm and a leg."
"If you need help getting them on, I'm a pretty nifty sewer."
"Really?"
"Oh yea! It's my little escape."
"Good to know."
"But you know if you needed help paying for things we can help. We are happy too."
I looked down the hallway and instantly calmed knowing Beau had closed her door to when they'd gone into her bedroom. "It's fine, thank you. Plus you've done more than enough with this week."
"We get how difficult it can be that's all."
I found it hard to believe they did understand. Their beautiful house in the countryside, long garden and many things they bought their boys. Good for them, I thought, but don't tell me you know exactly how it feels. Single mum, ADHD kid without a diagnosis and a job that doesn't pay nearly well enough because university was completely out of reach because of the debt. I managed to push out, "thanks."
Phil seemed to sense my distrust. "When I was younger, my mum was a single mum. And she couldn't work for quite a while because of my brother, so we lived off benefits for a bit until the support all got sorted."
I felt very stupid, "really?"
"Oh yea. So I get if you look at me know and think, how can he know? Things were different back then for better and for worse. But there was a kid in my year group at school who's parents sent him to a 'normal' school for better like experience but in reality he was definitely a private school kid. Anyway, every time there was a school trip or whatever, his parents would pay for him and the equivalent amount of money for another kid to go on the trip too. The year it happened to be me, was the year they took us abroad. First time I did it. I was petrified of leaving Duncan, my brother, and my mum behind but she told me if I was ungrateful for what someone had paid for me to do, she'd go on the trip in my place."
I laughed lightly, "your mum sounds great."
"Oh she is, loves being a grandmother to our boys. Just loves it."
"Anyway, a lot of the kids we foster come from homes like I came from. Or homes with far, far less love. They are often, though not always, the kid who missed out like I did. So even if it's three weeks that they get everything they could want or need for, that's three less weeks of suffering than it would have been."
"I completely understand."
"I'd love to say we'll pay for Beau's ADHD assessment but that's a stretch for us at the moment."
"I would never expect you to do that. I appreciate you giving her this week and helping out with childcare this summer. Normally, I'd send her to a childminder but as you know, they upped the prices again."
"There is truth to the reason we gave you. We wanted this trial run of school to go well for Tommy, which it has. We felt like having Beau there, like he will at school, would make things run smoother. And we wanted her to be able to go."
"Well whatever the reason, I really am very grateful for it, we both are."
"But you haven't told her?"
"No," I said quietly.
"Nothing to be ashamed of. No need to be ashamed of accepting help. And also no need to be ashamed about the fact that you want your kid to not have to worry about money. You're doing a great job."
I nodded, thanked him profusely and we moved onto lighter topics as we finished off our drinks.
Time skip:
"So how was drama camp?"
"Good." She shoved another whole fish finger in her mouth.
"Come on Beau, use a knife and fork!"
"Sorry Mum."
"It's fine, sorry for shouting, I'm just a bit tired."
"Was work tiring?"
"Yep."
"Well, dancing and acting is tiring too."
"I'm sure it is. Good thing you ate all your lunch." I said, inspecting the lack of remaining contents in her lunch box.
"Mhm, it was alright."
"Good."
"Do you think we could go to the park tomorrow?"
"Sure, but you've not wanted to go to the park for ages."
"I thought I wouldn't be able to now I'm going to secondary school. But James said that I can."
"Who's James?"
"Tommy's friend."
"Oh Tommy's support assistant."
"Yea something like that."
I laughed to myself, "well it sounds like James was making sense but why didn't you just ask me?"
"I thought you'd be too worried."
"With what?"
She panicked and gave up a random answer, "work?"
"What did you actually think?"
"Money." She kept eating her food but now in a much more somber fashion.
"We are fine for money!"
"But I heard you and Phil talking!"
"I know but things like drama camps are fun holidays. Added extras. And we have more than enough money for the very important, absolutely essential things."
"What about my blazers?"
"If I wanted to get you the school brand blazers I could, but it just seems an unnecessary spend when sewing the school badge on is cheaper." Her eye twitched slightly, maybe that meant she was lying, I didn't know.
"So we're not poor?"
"Not by a long shot. Phil and Kristin just have a bit more money than us."
"How much more?"
"I don't know how much more!" I sighed, "just eat your dinner and get in the shower please Beau."
She shrugged her shoulders and continued eating. I had upset her and would apologize properly once I'd had time to cool off. Work had been very stressful. They had offered me a promotion that would make the difference between no drama camp and drama camp for my family. But it would mean more hours and Beau was barely coping with everything as it was.
I didn't know whether she would just be able to get the bus to and from school. And make her own packed lunches and always remember her PE kit. And sit at home, after school for a hour or two until I got back. She was 11 and I knew other kids in her year group had been doing that for a while. And that when she got to secondary school that number would only be higher. So maybe it would be fine. The extra money would be nice. But it would be useless if my daughter wasn't in the place to share it with me. My worry was the more responsibility she took on, the more she felt she would mess up and the worse her mental health would get. Her anxiety was high anyway. And Tommy was beginning to be an emotional support for Beau more than Beau was for Tommy. It all concerned me.
A/n Hey! Hope you enjoyed this chapter even when it focuses less on the boys, Kristin and Phil. I quite like exploring the other characters in this world and giving everyone a bit more depth. Anyway, thanks for being here!