Chapter forty
"Helping others."
School was back on, everyone now knew what happened to Caroline and when they saw her in the hallway, she looked horrible, and maybe that was because she stopped eating again, started going to her therapist again who told her, he was the one to blame not her for what happened, that he took advantage of how he had broken her to get back with her.
But after what happened, she really didn't expect to see him again, especially not in glee club as they all sat in the choir room, Caroline felt very uncomfortable as Sam at next to her, he put his arm out in front of her when he saw Jesse standing there "new directions, I'd like to introduce you to our new show choir consultant, Jesse St James." Mr Schuester told them all and nobody clapped when he said that, as they all glared at him, having known what he had done "I don't trust this guy. How do we know he's not gonna trick us into doing something stupid so his alma mater wins." Finn shared.
"I don't think I need to do much tricking to get you to do something stupid, Finn." Jesse told him and Finn wanted to just get up and go beat the living crap out of him for what he had done to his sister, even that night of prom when they all got home, when Caroline said what happened, their dad almost went ballistic telling them how he was gonna go find him and kill him which worried Kurt and their mom, where he couldn't exactly remember how they talked him down from that ledge but they did.
"Guys, Jess is just a consultant. I still make all the calls. Now, I have all the confidence in the world in you guys. I think we could use all the help we can get, because.." Mr Schuester told them as he turned to the board that read nationals "this is it. We've been working so hard for two years for this moment and that moment is finally here. Now I was talking with Jesse and he agreed we should continue with out successful trend of doing original songs for the competition. I was thinking of doing one group number and one duet." Mr Schuester shared, looking to Caroline who had her hood over her head not even looking to the front of the room, and he didn't know what happened but he could assume it had to do with Jesse.
"Rachel and I should sing a duet. We killed it last year at regionals with faithfully." Finn told them "yeah. It killed us. We lost." Quinn reminded him "may I?" Jesse asked "uh, yeah." Mr Schuester told him "I would agree that Rachel should sing lead. But if I was being honest I was thinking Caroline instead. And Finn, I think it's best if you sit this one out, the fact is most of the other guys in here are better singers. And Mike Chang who can't even sing, can at least dance. You kind of sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop." Jesse told him "you see? See you what I'm talking about? This guy's a jerk!" Finn voiced "Jesse, maybe you could be a little more gentle with your advice." Mr Schuester told him "gentle?" Jesse asked him.
"Yes." Mr Schuester told him "I'm sorry. I didn't realize that we we're training for the, good try, ribbon at nationals. I thought we were in it to win the whole damn thing. And there's only way we can do that." Jesse told them "poison darts?" Britney asked "the vocal adrenaline strategy is simple. Identify your best performer and build the entire performance around them." Mercedes shared "so, what is everyone else doing?" Mercedes asked "and who's our star performer?" Puck asked "well, I was thinking before we get to that, that me and Caroline could show everyone how a duets supposed to look?" Jesse asked "sure, um, Caroline? Only if you're okay with it." Mr Schuester told her.
"No!" Sam and Finn voiced as Caroline smiled "sure." she told them, pushing herself up and walking down the steps, taking off her hood a she made it down to the floor "what song were you thinking Jesse?" Mr Schuester asked him "I was thinking one that's very much in Caroline's wheelhouse. What I've been looking for from high school musical." Jesse shared "okay, then, uh..whenever you're ready." Mr Schuester told them, stepping off.
As the piano guy began playing first, the two moved back towards the piano as Jesse was near the piano guy, Caroline was all the way on the other end as Jesse started singing.
"t's hard to believe that I couldn't see
You were always there beside me."
He was smiling at her as Caroline glared at him as she started singing.
"Thought I was alone, with no one to hold
But you were always there beside me
This feeling's like no other
I want you to know."
Then they both were singing, as Jesse began to move toward's her Caroline began walking in the opposite direction, which Mr Schuester furrowed his brows sensing animosity in Caroline's tone when she sang, he looked to the others as Sam and Finn were pissed, Mercedes shook her head.
"I've never had someone that knows me like you do
The way you do
I've never had someone as good for me as you
No one like you."
Caroline then spun away from Jesse as she sang.
"So lonely before, I finally found
Ha, what I've been lookin' for."
She said, turning and looking at Jesse with a forced smile on her face, and as the piano guy played through to the next part, Caroline stepped forward looking at all her classmates as she sang.
"Ha, so good to be seen, so good to be heard."
She then turned to Jesse as the two of them sang.
"Don't have to say a word."
Then Jesse then sang.
"For so long I was lost, so good to be found."
The two of them then sang.
"Hm, I'm lovin' havin' you around."
Caroline then stepped toward Jesse, pointing at him with a glare.
"This feeling's like no other
I want you to know."
Then the two of them started to sing together and as Jesse tried to dance with her, Caroline ducked away from him, where everyone who was watching knew that this wasn't what one was supposed to look like or sound like.
"I've never had someone that knows me like you do
The way you do
I've never had someone as good for me as you
No one like you."
Caroline then started singing.
"so lonely before, gee, I finally found
What I've been lookin' for."
And then it was time for the end of the song and at first both of them were singing.
'Do-do-do, do-do-"
But then Caroline took over and began singing over him, taking over.
"do-do-do-do, woah-woo
Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do-do, woah, mm-mm."
And then the song was over as everyone started to slow clap, Caroline turned to them all "and for the record that's how a duet is not supposed to look like. And if it's any help to everyone in here who want's to be the star with this clown running the show?" she asked, pointing to Jesse "good luck too, you! Because it sure as hell is not gonna be me." she told them, turning and looking at Mr Shchuester "Mr Schue, can I be excused?" she asked him "yes." Mr Schuester told her, as Caroline turned on her heel and walked out of the choir room, leaving everyone their surprised.
Standing at her locker, the next day Caroline was closing her locker as Sue walked past her "in my office in ten." she said, as Caroline furrowed her brows, turning around "what?" she asked "you heard me!" Sue yelled and when she did, Caroline shut her locker and followed after her.
Sitting in her office, Caroline saw all the flowers in the corner of her room "I heard about your sister. I'm sorry for your loss." she told her "I talked to those brothers of yours. They volunteered to help me plan her service but I agreed because I need them to help me clean out my sisters things. And I figured you'd help them as well. But when I look at you, it seems like you've been hit by a bus plus I saw you yesterday walking down the hall and when someone got in your way you shoved them into a locker like good old Sue Sylvester. And normally I don't care but for someone who's won countless awards after you just won two, you don't seem very happy." Sue told her.
As Caroline stared at her "I'm just beating myself up over a mistake I made, it doesn't matter. I'm fine." she told her "I'm guessing that's what you tell all those glee clubbers? Just dance around and sing all happy. So, how about you tell one old Sue Sylvester what's going on?" Sue asked her "I've already been talking to my therapist about this. I don't need to do this with you." Caroline told her "yeah, but I need something to brighten my day so how about you just tell me and I call you a name and then we'll both move on with our day." Sue told her, as Caroline took a deep breath "I made a mistake." she told her, her voice breaking "I let the boy who used me back in and I payed for it by him at prom the other night trying to force himself on me even when I said no over and over and tried to push him away, he wouldn't let me. And now I'm just so angry but I'm also so upset with myself! And he's here helping Mr Schuester and I'm just trying to get through it without him seeing me cry again." she shared.
And when she did, Sue stared at her in shock, having not expected that at all "I'll go." Caroline told her, sniffling as she started to cry, she stood up and went to leave but as she did, Sue grabbed a tissue box and put it on the table "where are you going? Sit back down." she told her, as Caroline turned around, looking at her with furrowed brows "what?" she asked "don't make me ask twice." Sue told her, sniffling herself, as Caroline walked over and sat back down, grabbing a tissue before she did so, because when she sat back down she started to cry, in which Sue just watched her knowing that was the same emotion she wanted to let out but couldn't find it in herself to do.
In which later on, Caroline was at the nursing home with Finn, Kurt and Sue as they sorted all of her belongings "we sorted Jean's stuff into piles." Kurt shared as Sue just looked at a clipboard "there are some old magazines and newspapers that you can just toss out." Kurt told her "and this is stuff your definitely gonna want to keep. Photos and stuffed animals. And this third pile is stuff that we don't really know what to do with. Um.." Finn began as Kurt picked something up "pom pom." he told them as Sue looked up "toss it. It's not worth anything." she told them "are you sure?" Kurt asked her as Caroline picked up a VCR tape and smiled "Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory." she told them "oh, I love that movie." Kurt told her "so do I." Caroline told him "then you two take it. It's probably worn out. She watched it at least three times a week." Sue told them, and Caroline took that to memory along with Finn and Kurt.
As Sue then then stood up, taking off her glasses "just toss it all out." she told them as the three looked to her "what?" Kurt asked "you heard me. It's all junk. I'll take this stuffed animal." Sue told them, grabbing one "Jean's had this since she was six. Everything else just toss it out. I don't need it." she told "but there are a lot of memories here." Finn told her "I'm not short on memories of my sister, so.." Sue told them "I know what it's like to lose someone. When someone dies it hurts." Kurt told her "very astute, porcelain. That's a little nugget of wisdom I'd really like to jot down." Sue told him "Coach Sylvester, we're just trying to help." Finn told her "you know what, cottage cheese? You're not helping. You're actually making things worse. So, do me a favor and take all this stuff to the dumpster on your way to rehearsal to for whatever tear leaking ballad you're planning on using to ruin my sister's funeral." Sue told them, as she turned to walk out.
"Why did you agree to this then?" Kurt asked her as Sue stopped "if you hate us so much, then why are you letting the glee club plan the service?" he asked her "I was afraid no one would come. Jean didn't know a lot of people. I figured with the glee club there, at least she'd have a full house." Sue shared, turning and walking out as Kurt through the pom pom onto the bed, Caroline looked at the Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory VCR and then back up "I have an idea." she told them, as Kurt and Finn looked at her.
At Sue's sister's service, it was a full house as Caroline, Kurt and Finn were in the front, the door had opened as Mr Schuester came in with Sue and as she did, the orchestra began playing a version of pure imagination as the three stood up and walked over to Sue "what do you think Coach Sylvester?" Finn asked her as they had decorated it like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory subtly not over the top "when you told us that Willy Wonka was Jean's favorite movie, I thought we'd make this day just as special as she was." Caroline shared "something to capture and express the joy of her life rather then the sadness of her death." Kurt shared "it's lovely." Sue told them "let's sit." Mr Schuester told them all as they turned to do so.
The priest soon was standing at the front "welcome, to the most unusual funeral that I have ever attended. Which makes sense, because Jean was the most unusual person that I ever had the pleasure to spend every Sunday for the last thirty years with. I think that Jean's sister Sue would like to say a few words." he told them as Sue stood up and walked to the podium, putting her glasses on she took a deep breath "I miss my sister. Every night at ten or so she used to call me on the phone and when I asked her why..she'd tell me that her body told her.." she told them, as she stared crying "she wanted to hear my voice." she told them, her voice breaking as Mr Schuester stood up and walked over to her "hey, it's alight." he told her.
As Sue stepped away, Mr Schuester took over as he cleared his throat "I miss my sister. The smell of her shampoo. The way she could always convince me to read her another book. When you love someone like I loved her, they're a part of you. It's like you're attached by this invisible teacher, and no matter how far away you are, you can always feel them. And now every time I reach for that tether, I know there's no one one the other end and I feel like I'm falling into nothingness. Then I remember, Jean. I remember a life led with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets. And I'm inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my sister so much. It feels like a piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold her. Ten more seconds, is that too much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold her?" Mr Shcuester read as his voice broke.
"But I can't." he read, as he put his arm around Sue "and I won't. And the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness..is that Jean would kill me if I did. So, for now, I'm just gonna miss her. I love you, Jeanie. Rest In Peace." he finished and as him and Sue walked back, Caroline and the rest of the glee club, stood up and walked to the front "this was Jean's favorite song." Finn told them all as Mike and Sam pressed play on VCR, the orchestra began playing pure imagination again as Caroline took a deep breath "hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to three." she said as Kurt then began singing.
"Come with me, and you'll be
In a world of pure imagination."
Finn then sang.
"Take a look, and you'll see
Into your imagination."
Then the VCR was playing was showing a bunch of pictures of Jean as Caroline started singing.
"We'll begin with a spin
Traveling in the world of my creation."
Artie then sang.
"What we'll see will defy explanation."
They all then sang.
"If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world?
There's nothing to it."
Caroline then began singing.
"There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination."
Kurt then sang.
"Living there, you'll be free
If you truly."
They all then sang.
"Wish to be."
As Sue looked at them all "thank you." she told them as Mr Schuester put his arm around her.
At school, Caroline knew what needed to be done as she stood in the auditorium, sitting on a stool, having texted Jesse, she heard his footsteps on the stage "hey, why did you ask me to meet you here?" he asked her "cause I wanted to talk." Caroline told him "Caroline, I did wrong by you last year, and I came back to make that wrong right." Jesse told her "but you didn't. And I realized.." Caroline told him as she began strumming on her guitar, playing the opening notes to Taylor Swift's dear John "that we always communicated best through song. And that the only way I was gonna say what I had too was if I sang it." she told him, continuing to play and unknowing to her as she did, Finn walked into the auditorium in search of his sister but he stopped, seeing her on stage with Jesse, as she started to sing, he began walking further down.
"Long were the nights when
My days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps
Praying the floor won't fall through, again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine."
Then the band came in playing with her as Jesse turned around and saw them.
"You paint me a blue sky
And go back and turn it to rain
Caroline then took a deep breath, knowing this song spoke to her a lot.
"And I lived in your chess game
But you changed the rules every day.
Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone, tonight.
Well, I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why.
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress, cried the whole way home
I should've known
Then she took a deep breath and stood up from the stool, continuing to play as she soon took a deep breath again, as she started singing.
"Well, maybe it's me
And my blind optimism to blame
She then took another deep breath.
"Or maybe it's you and your sick need
To give love then take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors
Who don't, understand
And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said
Run as fast as you can
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress, cried the whole way home
Dear John, I see it all now, it was wrong
Don't you think nineteen's too young
To be played by your dark, twisted games when I loved you so?
I should've known"
Then her and the band were playing out again, as she then looked at Jesse as she then began singing again.
"You are an expert at sorry and keeping the lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry have tired lifeless eyes
'Cause you burned them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me
So don't look now
I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town
Oh, oh
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress, cried the whole way home
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress wrote you a song
You should've known
You should've known
Don't you think I was too young?
You should've known."
And when the song finished, Caroline just stared at Jesse as Jesse stared back at her, but before either could say anything, Finn walked on stage and in front of his sister "you heard the song." he told him as Jesse turned around and walked out, leaving the two standing there, in which Caroline took a deep breath "I could've handled that." she told him as Finn turned around "yeah, but you shouldn't have too." he told her, looking at her "and I was an ass the night of prom when I told you not to come to me when he hurt you again. Because out of everyone, I should've been the one throwing the punches not Sam. And I haven't said anything about it till now because him just being around riled me up all up for so many reasons. but the biggest one was him trying to get back with you because you deserve so much better than him!" he voiced, but the one thing Caroline heard was his apology as she walked towards him and hugged him "I thought you'd be mad at me." she told him, chuckling as it sounded like she was crying as Finn hugged her back "I could never be mad at you, Caroline." he told her, holding her close.
Where when the two walked out, they heard about the choir room meeting at three thirty which was why they were all sitting in there with Jesse watching them as Mr Schuester walked in "ah, Mr Schue, thank god, you're here to put these trolls out of their misery. Can you just announce my win so that I can get on with teasing the losers?" Santana asked "I heard your performance, Santana. This is mine, and you know it." Kurt told her "see, Jesse? This is the kind of infighting and me first attitudes that I wanted to avoid." Mr Schuester shared "what you call fighting, I call motivation. And this is just the beginning, once we get to nationals, I'll have them willing to kill each other for that solo." Jesse shared.
"No. I changed my mind. We're going back to what got us here, original songs sung by the entire club. We're a team and we're best when we work as one." Mr Schuester told them "you're going to lose." Jesse told him "whatever we do, we're gonna do it together." Mr Schuester shared as Caroline and Finn smiled, knowing that was the Mr Schuester they knew "actually, Santana, you sounded pretty good." Kurt told her "thanks. You guys were all pretty dope too. Even Rachel. Although as I was walking in the hallway to check the list I did hear Caroline's version of dear John which was really good." Santana shared "I wish I could sound like you do, Santana. How do you get that raspiness?" Rachel asked.
"So nice. I smoke cigars." Santana told her "all right, guys. Time to get to work. Now, I want to hit songs by the time wheels touch down at JFK. Come on." Mr Schuester told them, having word books out, everyone went down to grab one, Caroline's songbook was snatched out of her bag as Mercedes began looking through it "no!" Caroline voiced, laughing as she quickly stood up to grab it from her as Mercedes laughed and kept it away from her, Caroline missed the way Sam was smiling at her.