Yes demons have sex ed class. It is hilarious.
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Dream POV.
5 years ago.
"Why the hell do we need to learn about this stuff?" Quackity looked disgusted as he asked the question from his spot beside me.
"Yeah! Why do we have to do sex ed and pregnancy and stuff? I never plan on having kids." Sapnap agreed. "I have a fucking boyfriend for fucks sake!"
"Well Mr Nap, for your information demons can get anyone pregnant. Male or Female or non-binary or whatever. Demon or human or any other animal or creature." the teacher began explaining as he stared down Sapnap. "All that is required is sex."
"So does that mean I can get a horse pregnant?" Quackity asked, and the whole class burst out laughing while the teachers eyes glowed bright red out of anger.
"Do you find learning about this stuff funny Mr Ackity?" The teacher, a man we called the Grinch after an evil story character from a human children's books, asked.
"My name is not Mr Ackity, it's Quackity." he responded, "and yes this is very funny."
The grinch was a wrath demon, and he looked about ready to murder Quackity. Surprisingly for demons murder is very legal and I am surprised that the majority of my class is still alive. Instead the teacher just sighed. "Today class, I am going to teach you about the telltale signs of any pregnant person. As long as the demons are one of the parents of course."
Why a wrath demon would teach this class was beyond me. In this unit we learned about demon health, human health (because some demons started taking humans as pets for some stupid reason), and sex ed.
Honestly who would want a pet human? They are small and useless, all you can do with them is carry them around and listen to them moan about something they hate. Anyway, carrying on...
(And yes I said moaning to set you all off in the comments -4)
A bunch of hormonal demon teens who took nothing seriously learning about this kind of stuff didn't seem like a good thing for a wrath demon.
Skeppy was sitting on the other side of me quietly taking notes. He was all over this stuff, he wanted to study humans when he was older because he found them 'interesting.' Apparently he had been offered an apprenticeship after school by a guy who has something to do with humans. However he needed to ace this class in learning about human health first, along with several others.
"Anyway, class. Does anyone think that they know any of the signs that a pregnant demon gives off?" The Grinch asked, bringing my attention back to the front of the class.
He looked around at all of the class who were watching him silently. Besides Skeppy, none of us wanted to be here. The majority of us just took health class because we had to do a certain number of subjects and there wasn't enough space in the classes we wanted.
"Nobody knows anything?" The grinch asked with a suspicious sounding tone, his eyes still glowing as he looked at us all. His eyes scanned around the room before he looked one of the students in the eyes. A greed demon called Allmoth, "take a guess Mr Moth."
He looked around awkwardly, unsure of what to say. "Don't pregnant demons change their scent slightly?" he asked, bracing himself for the Grinch to yell at him for being wrong.
"You are correct." the grinch said, a small smile on his face.
The Grinch returned to the whiteboard at the front of the class and wrote in all capital letters 'scent changed.' He turned to us to explain. "All pregnant demons, humans, etc who get impregnated by a demon have their scent changed. It smells sweeter during pregnancy and demons will not be able to attack them if they smell that scent. For any of you wondering, it smells like honey. Another thing to note is that female demons always can smell the honey scent before male demons, no matter the age."
I chuckled as Skeppy wrote that down, before glancing back up at the Grinch. "Does anyone want to guess another symptom of pregnancy?" he asked.
A lust demon called Sunny was sitting at the front of the class and she lifted up her hand. "My mother told me something about them eating and sleeping more... and don't they also like to be warm?"
"Correct again." The Grinch stated. He wrote 'hungrier and sleepier' and 'like warmth' underneath the words 'scent changed.'
"People pregnant with demons find themselves constantly hungry or sleepy. A demon pregnancy can last a different amount of time based on what time of demon you are, and what type your mate is, and you can find out you're pregnant by the scent change days after they get pregnant." he explained. "During that time pregnant people generally sleep the entire time except when they need to eat. They also get extremely clingy during this time which is part of them liking the warmth of whoever is in their reach."
Skeppy continued scribbling down in his notebook about humans. I watched him for a few more minutes as he wrote stuff down messily. After years of being his friend I could understand his weird scribbling, and ignore all of the spelling mistakes.
The only thing that annoyed me was the fact that all the fucking demon schools and shit converted to mainly teaching English, a human language, over Demonese, our own fucking language. I'm pretty sure the demon government was too lazy to start replacing all the human things with new ones in our language.
It was kind of annoying since none of us were amazing when it came to English, most of us can only say basic sentences. "There is one more major thing that you demons and demonesses need to learn today. But it only applies to demons. Does anybody want to take a guess as to what it is?"
Nobody answered. Most of us had shifted our attention to the clock which is a weird way that humans tell time. There are 12 little number icons and 2 hands that spin around and when the 2 hands are on the 12 we get to leave. One was only 3 notches away, hurry up little hand, I want to eat.
"Fine then. For all of you to know the forth symptom is the loss of pretty much all demon abilities. No second form, no claws, no releasing our scent on command, etcetera." he wrote the final thing on the whiteboard before adding some little numbers beside each of the things on the list.
It now looked like this.
Things that happen when pregnant with a baby demon.
Scent released.
Hungrier and sleepier.
Like warmth
No demon abilities.
"We become pretty much as useless as a human while we are pregnant. Whether you are a woman pregnant from a man, a man pregnant from a woman, a man pregnant from a man, or a woman pregnant from a woman. These four things are always the same and I want you to memorise them all for a test tomorrow." the Grinch stated just as the bell rang.
The class let out a chorus of groans for the test and even the human lover sitting beside me seemed to hate the idea. We all left the classroom pretty quickly and Skeppy pocketed his notebook in his shirt pocket.
"How is your human dream journal going?" I asked him with a playful nudge on his shoulder.
"Human dream journal? The fuck is a dream journal, Dream?" Sapnap asked, coming up behind us with his arm wrapped around his boyfriend's shoulder.
"I think you just write down about what you want your life to be like in the future." I stated, "Drista found a movie on a human website that mentioned it a couple of times."
"That kinda makes sense." Quackity nodded. "Like how Skeppy wants to fuck a human. That is something he'd write about in a dream journal, right?"
I nodded, and Skeppy glared at all three of us, but mainly at Sapnap and Quackity. "I just want to congratulate you on your child, since we all know you two are going to fuck after school today." He gave a smirk as Quackity and Sapnap blushed before continuing. "Which one of you two are the top in this relationship again?"
"It's me, obviously..." both answered at the same time before glaring at each other.
Skeppy and I burst out laughing at the way they reacted. "We'll find out soon enough Skeppy," I said to my friend, "either one of them will skip school for 6 months or maybe even both of them will."
Skeppy nodded in agreement as he laughed. "Which one of us do you think will get to be godfather... is that what humans call it?"
Quackity and Sapnap both let out low growls at us but we just chuckled. I didn't know why the Grinch bothered to explain to me how pregnancy works for demons since I knew that I never planned on having kids with anyone.
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1524 words.
Child Dream is so ignorant.
Anyway several chapters from now you might notice would be a good place for smut. However, Ezra has been bad so he gets to write none.
There will also be more Karlnapity.