Chapter 39

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Hyunjin sat with his head in his hands, feeling regret swill around his body like a drug. The sounds of the hospital were drowned out by the rapid beat of his heart and the scream of thoughts in his head. He was glad that that morning he had had a moment of weakness and slipped out to see Jeongin, arriving just in time to stop him hitting the ground or being stampeded by reporters. But was it worth it? Yes. It was a chance to see Jeongin again and for that, he would do anything.  

The sound of a door opening brought Hyunjin back to the real world. He looked up and into the room to see Jeongin and his mother in a tight embrace. Relief washed over his body. Jeongin was ok. And was going to be ok. With a large sigh, he sat back in the cold metal seat and stared, through the small window in the door, and the happy scene. He couldn't but feel a hint of jealousy, wishing he could be inside the room, but he knew how important Jeongin's mother was to him. 

"Sweet isn't it?" A voice to the left of him made Hyunjin turn his head. Chan was standing beside him, also watching the happy family scene in the nearest room. 

"Chan?" Hyunjin asked slightly confused. The doctor smiled and took a set next to the idol. 

"It was a brave thing you did earlier," Chan said, resting a comforting hand on the younger's knee. Hyunjin smiled weakly and stared at his shoes. 

"But didn't your company ask you not to see Jeongin any more?" Once again Hyunjin felt the pang of guilt in his stomach. He opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. Chan only smiled and stood up again. 

"Do you like coffee?" Chan asked. Hyunjin nodded and followed Chan down the halls of the hospital to his office. 

It wasn't a particularly fancy room, but it was cosy. A large desk with a set of two soft chairs one side, where the pair now sat with steaming cups of coffee in front of him. Hyunjin siped at the drink and prepared for the questioning that was about to come. 

"So," Chan started, placing his cup down. "How are you?" Hyunjin was taken aback. He wasn't expecting such a normal question. 

"I'm fine" Hyunjin replied, still cradling the hot drink in his hands. Chan raised an eyebrow. 

"It's my job to find out how your feeling, so spill," Chan said, sitting back in his chair. Hyunjin let out a sigh and suddenly the flood gates opened. Everything that had been brewing the idol suddenly came crashing out. Every thought, every feeling, all the pain and regret came out in a tidal wave of words. How badly he missed Jeongin. How much he hated seeing the younger in pain because of him. How his company was forcing him to keep working. How much he regretted not telling Jeongin how he truly felt. Chan didn't dare interpret. He just sat there, taking it all in. Letting the idol talk until everything was out and in a small puddle on the floor. 

"Well," Chan said after a moment of silence when the idol had finished. "It is clear you needed to talk." Hyunjin smiled weakly and placed his head back in his hands. 

"I-I don't know what to do" Hyunjin whispered, his voice breaking slightly in an attempt to hold back tears. "I so badly want him back, I... I can't live without him" 

Chan smiled sadly at the idol in front of him. Without the makeup and fancy clothes, he was just a boy. A boy who only wanted to be loved. 

"Then get him back" Chan replied simply. 

"It's not that simple," Hyunjin said, anger ebbing into his voice. 

"But it is" Hyunjin looked at him, a mixture of anger and confusion. Chan sighed and began his explanation. "Well, Jeongin said he was doing this because he loved you and that he couldn't bear to see you get hurt because of him, correct?" Hyunjin nodded. 

"There is a saying 'if you love something let it go'" 

Hyunjin heart fell slightly. 

"If it comes back to you, then it's yours"

Hyunjin looked at Chan confused. Chan sighed and leaned forward. 

"you need to prove to him that you love him, that you're his without question and that nothing will ever break you up. No amount of youtube comments will ever tier down the relationship you have" 

It was like someone had flipped a switch in Hyunjin's brain. As if he had been standing in a dark room and some had turned on a light. It was now all so clear to him what he needed to do. 

Chan leaned back in his chair, a look of triumph spreading across his face. 

"Go get your man" 


Hello there good fellow, Tis I! Your friendly neighbourhood author here. 

I hope I find everyone in good spirits, especially with everything that is going on at the moment. 

I am going to start posting twice a week because my school has been closed and writing helps stop me from losing my mind. 

We are approaching the end of this book but don't worry. I have other books to read if you like my work as well as some new stories on the way. 

I am currently working on something quite big that I am really excited about so i hope you guys stay tuned until then. 

Well see you next time and stay healthy!


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