REM

Black Slugs (#1 Slacker Part 3)

As usual I have had a lot of dreams which failed to inspire me over the course of several months. Many are mere glimpses of scenes that are too short to register any attachment, or conjure up any interest. Some are exciting, confusing, scary, and some even hint at pathways to something much larger.

Whether I am dreaming about my mouth being filled with black slugs, zombies chasing after me, family and friends doing strange things, or even dreams referencing to sexual fantasies, my dreams are always a mixed bag of ideas. There is also a lot of symbolism in them as well, like having someone helping me clean up a house, or a friend I haven't seen in ages riding a motorcycle and nearly crashing.

Many of the scenarios I remember finding myself in while sleeping will never come to fruition. Some are meant to inspire short stories, while others are meant to push my limits to think outside the box even more when choosing my next project. There are also those which challenge me in other ways, especially those containing symbolism, which are very difficult to decipher.

One night I might remember nothing and have zero recollections, while other nights I will remember one very vivid dream, or even multiples. Then there are those nights when I have nightmares and I am awoken in the dead of night only to struggle to get back to dreamland where my subconscious can guide me to new worlds.

It has never been an easy, or guaranteed process of fishing for ideas, especially when I can't remember all of my dreams. Then there is the letdown I suffer from when I have a ghost image of what I dreamed about. Those are the worst because they happened and then slipped from my grasp.

Sometimes I wish I could have lucid dreams where I can manipulate everything, but I do enjoy a good challenge. Choosing when to exit dreams has been an option, however not very often. Imagine having a bad dream and not being able to manipulate it, so you just grab hold of a door knob and walk out into the conscious world. That, is awesome.

After a few months of not being able to write about my subconscious adventures, I find myself looking back through my notes to dig out the 'good stuff'. I ignore the numerous entries where I had no recollections multiple days in a row and focus on the detailed ones. Some are a couple of lines, while others are ten. Just because I write a lot down doesn't mean the dream notes will allow me to write something though. That's one of the hardest pills to swallow.

What I do find of use to me though is amazing. Short stories are quick adventures away from the real world when I need a break, and when my body and mind are resting I get to wander in a dream world. So when you think about it, I'm never really resting. I'm constantly in a storyline, sometimes I'm physically there, and sometimes writing about it, or even dreaming about it.

When I find myself writing short stories like this one, where I ramble about the failed opportunities and confusion that the others cause, it's difficult to not invite others to do the same as me. Sure, some dreams are not the greatest and others are littered with symbolism about current, or even past life, but they are never a waste.

We need to continue to dream about fantasy creatures and scenarios of finding love. The real world can be cruel and silence us, but the dream world can't if we embrace it. I might never encounter the zombies that wake me at night, or even meet the beautiful women who eat lunch with me while on vacation, but so long as I share these stories and entertain people who have lost their voice, or even their way, perhaps I will aid them in getting back on track.

Black slugs in my mouth might be symbolizing my inability to speak and share my stories, or perhaps remind me that an unspoken word can rot in my mouth and cause problems down the road. We all know that practice makes perfect, so to have a dream that essentially reminds me that I'm slacking is really a blessing in disguise.

As much as I fall off the writing wagon, I always come back with a vengeance. It is my passion and always will be. I just wish I could have lucid dreams so that those things that seem to elude me in real life can be captured for a moment while I sleep, and give me hope that one day I will attain what my heart seems to truly desire in the physical world.