REM

Odd Behaviour

The day was like any other day. I woke up to a bright sun and green backyard, nature surrounding me just as I always wanted. Bear in mind, days weren't like this when I was younger.

My parents weren't keen on moving outside the city. It took until I was in my twenties to convince them that living in the country would be fun. Actually, most of our family members who came to visit didn't even call it the country, they called it cottage country.

Looking into the backyard, I saw my Volkswagen camper bus blending in with the trees surrounding the back porch. It was painted dark green, nearly matching the colour of a pine. I didn't do it on purpose, that's just what I happened to find online when I was searching for a vehicle to help me reconnect with nature. It was quite fitting really, and I was more than happy with my purchase.

As I stepped outside – the sun blinding me at first – I immediately ducked as bats began to swoop down and attack me.

"What the hell?" Peering through the space between my fingers, I saw several bats take turns diving down at me. "What's gotten into them?" There was no one else outside to help answer my question, so I did my best to avoid being hit.

They kept it up for a while, eventually giving up as I began to swing my arm at them to deter them from being aggressively annoying. I had never been attacked by animals before, and I never did anything to deserve being attacked either. It was a strange way to start my day.

After the bats moved on to more pressing matters, or a new target, birds began to dive down at me as I tried to take in the beauty of nature on the porch.

"What the heck?!" I yelled, as if my voice would deter them from carrying the torch for the bats. They did the same thing the bats did and for just as long before I decided to swing my arms at them as well.

The birds were a lot smaller than the bats and not so scary, but I still didn't want to get injured if they miscalculated. One of the birds came in a little too close on one attempt, my hand connecting directly. I actually grabbed at the same time, catching the bird in my grasp.

"Holy crap." I was in complete disbelief. There was no way this was happening. Opening my eyes slowly, I found the beak and head of a small bird poking out of my hand by my thumb. "Well I'll be damned... I caught a bird."

My initial reaction was shock, but then I got super excited. I ran into the house as the other flying animals decided to vacate.

"Dad!" I yelled, running into the kitchen. "Look at this."

He gave me a puzzled look, then inspected my fist.

"How the hell did you manage that?"

"I dunno. Bats and birds have been dive-bombing me all morning out there. I swung at this little guy and got lucky."

"Well, no sense in squeezing him to death. Let him go and check the plants." He took a sip from his mug, then added, "And watch your back. That's some strange behaviour for bats."

"I will," I nodded, then headed outside.

The bird immediately flew from my open hand and didn't dare return. I walked down the porch steps and checked the flower garden quickly. Everything seemed all right, but when I went back inside and checked the sunflowers in the courtyard through the window, I was devastated. The largest one was completely black and wilted, like some debilitating disease had infected it from the roots.

"What the hell is going today?" I spun around and headed back to the kitchen. "Dad?" I called out.

"Look who's here," he motioned with his head as he stood by the kitchen window.

Stopping beside him, I saw my mom in the driveway. Next to her was her friend who had the hugest set of tits I had ever seen. She actually hit on me one time before. Tried to seduce and suffocate me with those giant things.

"This day couldn't get any worse," I sighed.

"Ha. Don't jinx yourself now." My dad brought his mug to his lips for another sip, then turned away as I dreaded the door opening.