REM

WTF

"Psst. Henry."

I leaned sideways in my office chair to peer in the direction of my cubicle partner, Larry. "What?"

"You see that new video online? The one where the baby gets attacked by the shark?" He raised his eyebrows in wonder.

"No," I exhaled. "No I haven't. Why?"

"It's so crazy, man. These parents should be locked away for child abuse and negligence."

Negligence, that's a big word for Larry.

"These two rednecks pushed their baby down an embankment into a water reservoir on some floating chair and think there's nothing wrong with it. Can you believe that?"

I opened my mouth and paused. "Actually... I can. Nothing these days really surprises me anymore. People are fucking stupid."

"Yeah, well, these hicks are laughing and shit, watching their baby crying and struggling to get back onto the floating chair. The dad doesn't seem to give a shit, and the mom is recording the whole thing." He paused for air. "And guess what she says?"

"What?" stretching my arms.

"I don't mind if she turns into a midget. A midget," he repeated in a harsh whisper. "Can you believe that? That dumb bitch thinks the baby's growth is going to be stunted from cold water. And the worst part, someone in the background is talking about how dirty the water is because apparently it's near some plant that pumps waste into it." His eyes intensified as he continued to get riled up. "And the comments on the video. People are saying H1N1 is in the water. That's toxic."

Then I raised an eyebrow at how stupid this video and the people watching it were. "You know that's not possible, right? H1N1 came from pigs. So unless they're dumping pig remains in there, that seems highly improbable."

"Well I don't know. They don't say where they were. Oh! And then guess what happens." He looked at me, but I didn't even blink. "Something comes out of the water." Nodding his head as he folds his arms, he seems proud of his play-by-play for the video.

"A fish?" I guessed.

"Nope. A shark."

"Get out. I just ate lunch, man."

"I'm not joking," shaking his head and unfolding his arms. "The baby is sitting on the floating chair, then this white shape comes up from under it." Speaking with his hands, he leaned toward me. "The parents didn't even seem to care. Then, out of nowhere, the shark comes out of the water." Relaxing a bit, he waits as my face is mixed with skepticism and disgust.

"If I throw up, you're paying for my lunch."

"Fine," he agreed. "Goblin shark." Again, he is nodding, trying to make the story believable, but I still have my doubts. "Comes right out of the water, bites the baby's face off."

My stomach begins to churn as my imagination starts to work on a visual. "That's not cool, man. You shouldn't tell people about that."

"But it's online," he protested. "Anyone can see it. Cheryl can see it. And she's the most squeamish person we know. Could you imagine?"

"Nope," I groaned, shaking my head as I tried to refuse the image taking shape in my mind. I turned away from him to take a sip of water.

"Guess what though?"

Water goes down my throat and I feel a tad better, but not much. Big inhale, then exhale. "Do I really need to know?"

"No blood." Leaning back in his chair, he seemed to be inviting my debate on the matter. "Not a single drop. I think the video's a fake."

"Really?" glaring at him. "You almost made me throw up because of that."

"Sorry," he apologized, sounding rather sincere. "At least you know it's fake. There's no way that was real. Could you imagine though? Those hick parents, actually pushing a child into something like that, then the child being attacked. I bet they would bring back death by hanging just for them. Maybe even the guillotine." Watching him shudder, I can tell he just imagined their fate, if the video had been real.

I swung my legs back under my desk and refocused on my computer screen full of spread sheets.

"I think I'm going to get lunch now, "he announced.

"Yeah... good luck with that." Larry was a weird guy.