REM

Upside Down Heartache

The sun was shining as my younger brother played with his friend in the front yard, me supervising them both with an old friend.

"I've never seen him this young before," I told her, continuing to follow the two young boys.

They chased after one another as they tried to catch a butterfly. I was happy for my brother to be young again, with no worries or cares, but I couldn't tell you what happened for him to reverse-age.

He was only three years younger than me, yet now he looked like my son. I woke up this morning to a squealing, giggling child in the house, my mom shocked, confused, and for some reason delighted at the same time. Strange things were happening all the time, but this one took the cake.

As my friend and I sauntered over to the far side of the yard, a car pulled into the driveway. The woman with blonde hair jumped out and quickly ran into the house. It was Christine. I never had the chance to say good bye to her when she first left, so right now was my second chance.

Forgetting about my brother and his friend, I bolted to the house. I also forgot the fact that Christine couldn't actually be there, but my eyes told my heart she was, so it began to flutter.

Door closed behind me, I ran throughout the house, trying to find where she went. I found my mom lying on her bed, talking to someone on the phone. I turned away and went to my own room, having a déjà vu as I saw my mother lying on my bed in the same pose.

What the heck? I thought to myself. Things just kept getting weirder and weirder for me today.

My heart began to ache, realizing that I wasn't going to find Christine in the house. I finished my search, returning outside to a darkening sky and her car gone. Did I just imagine her coming home because I missed her that much? Maybe that's what it was, my heart feeding my mind its deepest desire and playing tricks on me.

It did feel good though, to have that glimmer of hope that she would come back. Sometimes when I would dream about her I would want the morning to never come, allowing me to lie in bed forever as my subconscious fed me images of things that would never come to pass.

I liked dreaming about her. It was painful not waking up to her by my side, or smiling back at me, but it did give me hope that her spirit was still present, guiding me and comforting me through the challenges I faced.

My brother ran past me with his friend into the house, my older friend placing her hand briefly on my shoulder in comfort as she followed them inside. Upside down and inside out, that's how my world felt at that very moment. There was nothing worse than feeling broken, beside being reminded that I was. If it turned out today was merely another dream and I was losing track of reality, maybe I could get lost in it forever, creating a virtual reality of what my heart truly desired until it stopped beating.