On Our Block

Chapter Eighteen

Ruby:Everyone went home expcept for me and Amara. No one knows we're here. Shit. Shit. Shit!

Cesar:Breath okay?

They grab each other and ruby snaps.

Ruby:This is never gonna end! Latrelle won't ever go away. We're gonna be looking over our shoulder all of our lives. We have to go to the police.

I feel my heart break even more seeing ruby so scared. He's so used this stuff but at the same time he's not. He's seen It but has never been in it.

Ruby:Yeah, we could go to the police.

Cesar:The police? What are they gonna do? They already know latrelle's back in town and they are not doing shit!

Ruby:Then we're dead...

Me:No you aren't, we aren't. Ruben please have just a little more faith please. Okay?

Ruby:Faith? How can I have faith when they just roll up randomly and torment us! You haven't spoken this much in weeks! They know who you are they know all of us! What's going to stop them! They are gonna kill us all.

Me:Have faith, sometimes things that seem to only get darker end up being the brightest. And I may be one person but I meant it when I said that if it meant you all living fid lay my life down for you guys. Ruby you are gonna live to see all of your graduations, all your children growing up and grandchildren. You will live until you die of old age.

Cesar:Same for me, compa. No one will touch you guys if I have a say in it, not anymore. Alright? Now go into the bathroom and wash your face and breathe.

He nods and walks away. I wipe the tear that started to fall. No more tears, Cesar rubs his head and yells.

Cesar:God dammit!

I see him go towards the stupid ass painting and pull it to the side and type in a code and pull out a gun. I frown as he looks at me.

Me: What are you bout to do?

Cesar:I got to do this.

Me:Want me to come with?

Cesar:Nah, make sure he gets home, and promise me that you'll go see if I'm a tio, with my brother? He deserves to be happy in some aspect.

I nod and he lifts his hood about to leave.

Me:Cesar!

He looks at me.

Me:Check the gun. You don't know how long it was in there or what was done to it... And if you hear them whistle? You run like your life depends on it. Because it will.

He nods and leaves. Just then ruby comes out.

Me: let's go the Uber is outside.

Time Skip...

I walk to Oscar's house, it's early in the morning and honestly I don't even want to be here. But I said I'd go and see if he was gonna be an uncle and I want Oscar and me to be on good terms whether I am or aren't. I don't even care to be back with him at this point.

I knock on the screen door and ruffle my hair, something told me to keep ym braids in for a week longer. I see Oscar swing the door open and look at me. I look at him and he opens the door letting me in. I walk into the house and stand in the living room, he stands his arms crossed looking down at me.

Me:*sighs* The only reason I'm here is because Cesar made me promise to go see if he's a uncle... With you.

He looks me up and down before his tough guys stance is lowered slightly.

Oscar:Why did he say that so randomly?

Me:Because he went to finish the job...

Oscar:*grits teeth* What job Amara.

Me:The one that turned his life upside down, they rolled up on us and ruby went to tell him and he went out but he wouldn't let me come and now I'm here...

He looks at me and curses under his breath. He rubs his head then turns back to me.

Oscar:Hasn't it been a month or something? Why haven't you gone already?!

I start to play in my hair pulling on the curls before he pulls my hands away from it.

Me:I'm scared okay? I said after two months if I don't start showing signs or symptoms of pregnancy I won't go, because I probably won't be pregnant... And I was scared of what I might do if I found out I was pregnant... What my family might do, my friends, what it'd mean for me and the child. How our lives may end up being, how our future will look. How my mom and dad told me to not follow in there footsteps because it'll bring so much heart ache and pain, how you'll always be scared to let them go outside to play with the neighborhood kids. How you won't want them to spend time with their father because of what he does and you won't know that, that 1 hour that you didn't call was when they actually got hurt. and that's exactly what I did. So it scared me especially since I didn't have anyone to confide in who's never had to go through this besides them. Manny said he'd help but I'd never put such a life changing task on someone who didn't even remotely help with it. Then I slipped into this major ass depression that to be honest I'm still in and I don't know what to do because who can I actually talk to about all of this when nobody has the time or energy to? Everyone has life changing shit going on so nobody has time for me or my teenage life bullshit. I missed my AP tests, I missed finals I'm shocked I'm still going to be promoted but who knows those teachers probably didn't even notice me gone. Then to find out Tyree only fucked with me to finish his intitaton into some gang because I was yours and to make you mad and now I'm stuck here feeling discarded and lost and now I'm ranting to a fucking guy who probably has never even cared about me and is probably getting pissed off... I'll just go I'm waiting your time.

I walk passed him wiping tears that has somehow soaked my whole face. I walk to the hallway but I feel him grab my arm and pull me into his arms. I sob into his arms clinging to him. He rocks us back and forth slowly, he kisses my head, I hear him murmuring a few things behind the sobs.

Oscar:Stop crying,cariño. I got you, I promise. Lo siento. Breathe calm down.

I feel him pull me away and we sit down and he grabs some tissue and wipes my face. I ring my fingers around each other he grabs my hands and lifts my head.

Oscar:I'm sorry, okay? I was wrong to treat you like that I shouldn't have blown up at you like that, I was just scared. The last thing anyone needs is a child being born into this life. I regret putting my brother into this and the last thing I'd want is my child to be. But I also didn't look at how much it'd also effect you and your life. Whether I left or not you'd always be connected with that child in more ways than I would ever be and I didn't realize that. I do love you and you have to be crazy to not believe that. No matter what I'm going through you can always come and talk to me you are never alone. I promise you. Now let's go. Go wash your face.

He kisses right under my eyes and I get up and walk to the bathroom and splash water onto my face and see the red eyes staring back at me with bags underneath. I huff and take a deep breath. I dry my face and walk out. I see Oscar with his shoes on and a black shirt. We walk to his car and he opens the door for me.

I lay on the bed thing as the doctor grabs the sonogram machine thingy and she ruby the gel on my stomach. The lights get turned off by the assistant and we look to the screen. She rubs the wand over my lower stomach pressing firmly against it.

Doctor:Well...