(Discontinued) RWBY Watches Deathbattle

Episode 71 Deadpool Vs Pinkie Pie

(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*)

Wiz: Fiction has a very fragile set of rules. Authors should be wary, as one small crack can be enough to smash the boundary and send their stories careening out of control.

Boomstick: Are we really doing this?

"Man Boomstick doesn't seem happy does he?" Yang said

"No he doesn't" Ruby said

Wiz: We're really doing this.

Boomstick: Well, here's Deadpool, Marvel's Merc with a Mouth.

"That crazy lunatic is back?!" Weiss said in a shocked and angered tone recalling their team meeting the Merc for the first time and remembered him talking about her specialist sister

"I wouldn't say he's crazy, more like there in the head" Ruby said not wanting to offend the merc.

Wiz: And Pinkie Pie, Equestria's peppy party pony.

"Sooo a pony against a mercenary with dangerous weapons . Yeah I can see this how it's gonna end" Yang said.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

Deadpool

(*Cues: Deadpool Theme - Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2*)

Wiz: Loneliness. Depression. Cancer. When you think of the Merc with a Mouth, these are unlikely to be the first things you associate with the assassin called Deadpool. Yet, before the red and black suit, these were the ingredients in the life of Wade Wilson.

"Yeah yeah we all know how Deadpool was made. Had cancer, broke up with his girlfriend and got experimented by an evil organization" Yang said

"Yang be nice." Ruby said scolding her older half sibling

"Sorry but I'm just saying we already know this stuff" Yang said recalling their first time seeing Deadpool.

Boomstick: Blah blah blah, we've been over this before. How about we just skip to the best parts?

Deadpool: Hold up hold up hold up! You just can't skip my amazing origin story like that! I have a movie now, so we have all this crispy new footage to use. For educational purposes of course.

"He has his own movie?" Blake said in bewilderment

"Oh great, as if that wasn't enough, now he has is own movie" Weiss said in complaining about the merc

"Well I think it's nice that he has his own movie" Ruby said feeling good that Deadpool now has his own movie

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

Boomstick: Wiz, he's back! Where's my shotgun?

Wiz: Just ignore him. In short, Wilson was a mercenary who developed cancer.

"And he dumped his girlfriend because he doesn't want her to feel depressed about his death" Yang said.

Deadpool: I had 34 tumors. They were literally everywhere.

"Gross" RWBY said

Boomstick: So, the guys who messed with Wolverine picked him up, injected him with weird healing fluids, and turned him into a rotten testicle. Hey, that would've been a much better superhero name for you.

"I don't know if that's a better hero name. Deadpool is way better than that"  Ruby said 

Deadpool: Whatever you say, Captain Bucktooth. You know as well as I do that I'm kind of a big deal, and I've always lived that lit, fresh, mercenary life. (Australian accent) And I even partner up with famous little Wolvie on occasion, (back to his normal voice) like when I worked with the... X-Force.