The Flame (A Norman Reedus Story)

Chapter 49--Diagnosis

Chapter 49—Diagnosis

I wake up at eight o’clock after a night of tossing and turning.  I take my shower doing the usual “I’m going to the OBGYN” routine.  When I get out I’m clean, shaved, and smelling like berries and vanilla.  I walk down the hallway in my towel and Mingus comes out of Travis’s room.  He’s just looks at me and smiles, I quickly walk down the hallway to my room.  I keep forgetting that it’s not just my kids here.  I’m pretty covered in the towel but he’s a teenage boy and I’ve probably scarred him for life.  I get dressed in a short Jade green sundress with spaghetti straps.  I comb my hair out, leaving it down.  I find my black flat sandals and walk out to the kitchen.  Eulyn is awake and already showered.  She’s drinking a cup of coffee and offers to make me one.  I sit down at the Island and smile, “That would be great, thanks.”  She smiles softly, “Are you feeling any better today?”  I shrug, “I don’t know.  I didn’t sleep too great.  Between the empty bed and dreading today, I probably only got 4 or 5 hours.  I’m trying not to dwell on what I can’t control.”  She gives me an understanding look, “We’ll get some answers today.” I sigh and sip the coffee she’s set in front of me.  The kids are still asleep except for Ming.  He wanders out and sits next to me.  “Good Morning Ming,” I say.  He yawns as he answers, “Morning.  Can I have a cup of coffee please?”  I nod and point to the coffeepot, “Help yourself.  You can have breakfast too, whatever you want, just clean up your mess.  You don’t have to ask Ming, you’re family.”  He grins, “Okay, thanks.  I’ll just have some cereal, I’m not that hungry.”  I sigh, “Yeah, me either.”  Mingus surprises me by hugging me and whispering in my ear, “I miss him too.  Don’t worry he’ll be back Sunday.”  I smile at the blonde haired boy who looks so much like his Dad, “I know.  I’ve just gotten used to him being around.”  Mingus gets his cup of coffee and I turn back to Eulyn, “We should get going.”  We grab our purses and tell Mingus we will be back later.  I take a deep breath as I walk out the front door.  I light up a cigarette as I slowly walk to her car. 

We are quiet on the drive into Senioa; I’m just not in the mood for conversation.  Eulyn pulls into the parking lot and I let out a groan.  She looks over at me, “I understand but you have to go in.”  I look over at her, “I know.  I just realized that I really should have told Norman.  I really wish he was here.”  She reaches across and hugs me tight, “It will be fine.  You can tell him tonight if you want.”  I run my hand through my hair and let out a deep breath as I open the car door.  I get out and put on a pair of Norman’s spare Raybans.  Eulyn looks at me and laughs, “You two are too much alike.”  I grin at her, “Hey, I make these look good.”  We both laugh as we walk into the doctor’s office.

Once in the waiting room I sign in and sit down.  We are the first ones in the office so I don’t wait long.  I get called to the back and shown to an exam room.  I sit on the exam table and wait for Dr. Vai.  I stare at the walls bored out of my mind.  I start humming the tune running through my head.  Soon I’m singing the song instead:

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same

Yeah

Nothing lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain

Oh Yeah

But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away

If we could take the time
to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain