High School Mayhem

~~~~101~~~~

Chapter 101: Don't Forget To Breathe
~Laurance~

Laurance || Travis

"Hello?"

"Hello? Wait, who's this?"

"It's... Travis."

"Oh! Hey! I was trying to call my sister but I pushed your number by mistake. How's life been?"

"Uh, okay?" He mumbles.

"It doesn't sound like it's okay. I've been treated as a rant line before, go ahead and take your shot." He just stays silent. I imagine he's thinking I'm crazy, then I realize... "Wait, Travis?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you breathing?"

"What?"

"You don't sound like you're breathing."

"Are you SUPPOSED to hear me breathe?"

"No, but it's not there at all. Did you... die?"

"What? No. Of course, I'm breathing. How else would I be talking to you?"

"I don't know, man, I think you might be dead. It's okay to not want to admit that you are. How do you think you died? When's the funeral?"

"First... I'm a duck and now I'm not breathing?"

"What does that mean? Did you become a duck then you died? That's insane."

"No, college kids are insane. When Dove called me she was convinced I was a duck and now you're convinced I'm dead. What do they feed you in colleges?"

"They don't feed us. We have to go out and buy our own food. I mostly eat ramen."

"Well, it killed your brain."

"Hey, I'm not the dead one here. You are."

"Fine. Fine. I admit I'm a ghost duck."

"When's the funeral so I know when to mark my leave?"

"Never, I'm too embarrassed to show my beak anywhere."

"Don't be. I'm sure your beak isn't too bad."

"... ... ... Why does it sound like you're serious about this?"

"Because this is a serious moment! I can't just joke around during a time like this. We didn't talk all the time but you're still one of my friends."

"Did you sleep last night?"

"What? Pshh, of course, I-- No. I didn't. I didn't have time to. I ended up procrastinating and I forgot a had a paper due."

"And this is why you think I'm dead because your brain cells are dead. Wow, I'm a great psychiatrist."

I slow clap. "Bravo. Bravo."

"Thank you. Thank you. You're all so kind." He cheers.

I shake my head. "Anyway, just remember to breathe because breathing is important."

"... ... ... I think you miss Lyrvanna so much that you're saying things she'd say."

"Pfft. Oh please, she got that from me."

"...Right..."

"What? I'm serious, she was wishes she was as naturally funny as I am. I think you're hanging out with Zerenity so much that you're starting to randomly ship."

"Hey, I can be random too."

"...Right..."

"Just go call your sister."

"Oh yeah. Later."

"Peace."

||Call End||

I totally forgot about calling Cadenza.

Laurance || Cadenza

"Hey--"

"Took long enough for you to call me back. I thought you were just going to ignore me."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because of what I said last time I called you." She means literally screaming at me to have a love life.

"It's basically the same thing you've been screaming at me since my sophomore year."

"Exactly. Which is why I think it's time for you to get married."

"There are multiple reasons why I have to say 'no'. One, I'm still single. Two, I'm focusing on my studies. Three, just no."

"If you did everything I told you to do back when we were in high school, you wouldn't be single."

"Goodbye, Cadenza."

"Wait. Give me Lyrvanna's number, I got a new phone and I didn't have hers memorized."

"I'm not letting you harrass her too."

"It's not harrassment, it's love."

"Bye, see you when I see you."

"HAVE BABIES!"

||Call End||

I'm never calling her again.