High School Mayhem

~~~~86~~~~

Chapter 86: Social

~Laurance~

Laurance || Lyrvanna

"Hel--"

"People suck."

"I'm starting to think you're just using this as a complaint line. How about a normal conversation? Starting with hello?"

"But I don't like conversations or people."

"My day was great, thank you for asking. How was your day today, Van?"

"Terrible. I can't eat lunch in peace because people come to sit with me instead of letting me eat alone, when I struggle with my work people try to help me, then every time I walk in the halls people say 'hi' to me. I didn't ask for people to talk to me."

"I literally don't see anything wrong with that. They're trying to be friends."

"I also didn't ask for friends."

"Ouch, that bus just came out of nowhere."

"Oh no, did you just get hit by a bus? Good. I hope it hurt. That's what you get for leaving me. Couldn't you have just flunked or something?"

"Thanks for caring so much about my future."

"You're welcome, I'm a great friend. Speaking of friends, did you make friends?"

"I guess--"

"Names?"

"Uh... Jordan--"

"Male or female?"

"Is that what this is about?" I laugh.

"Whatever you're thinking is wrong. Now answer the question."

"Male."

"Cool beans, are any of your friends female?"

"Not yet."

"Yet? W-Well, have fun! Just know that-- And-- Yeah... Um-- Don't forget to give her dark chocolate when she's on her per--"

"Van, I'm just teasing you."

"... ... ... ... I knew that duh. Have fun playing gross sports. Oh, and don't come home for Christmas because I'm still mad at you."

"For the prank? For leaving you?"

"For making me popular. If you would have told me you were popular that summer we met, I would have kicked you out of my house because I wanted no part in popular life. Now I run it."

"Run it?"

"Yes, people literally come to me for popularity tips, friendship and relationship advice, and anything else social."

"That was one hundred percent you, I didn't leak that onto you. None of that's ever happened to me, maybe relationship advice once or twice but they were asking how to get with me."

"Oh?"

"High school was quite a year."

"You sound old."

"You sound whiney."

"I am whiney. Does that mean you're old?"

"No, I didn't expect you to agree with me."

"You're going to be 19 soon, dude. You are very much so old."

"I'm only a year and a couple of months older than you. You're going to be 18 in January, you shouldn't be whiney anymore."

"Too bad I'm whiney and CORRECTION, I'm going to be 8 in January."

"Right..."

"It's true."

"Anyway..."

"More rants?"

"Go right ahead."

"If you didn't get all of those social requests, why am I getting them? You were made for popularity, I'm too anti-social to give social advice, I'm too anti-social to breathe, literally, when I stand in line to get lunch, I don't breathe. I'm not a loud breather but I'm still scared the person in front of me will hear me breathing."

I burst into laughter. "I really don't know what to say."

"Seriously, why am I the one getting these? And how come people didn't ask you?"

"Um... I was once told that I was unapproachable because I'm too hot for existence."

"That has to be a lie."

"It's not. Are you doubting my hotness?"

"Yes. You're pretty approachable."

"You only say that because you know me, what if I was a stranger?"

"Okay, fine, you wouldn't be approachable and not because you're super hot or something dumb like that. You'd be unapproachable because you're a complete stranger who I've never talked to before."

"I think you're just too tsundere to say it's both."

"I think you no longer have the right to call me conceited until you get yourself checked."

"I am not conceited."

"And I'm not tsundere."

"Only one of those statements are false."

"You have the false statement, I have the true one."

"Is that your final answer?"

"Of course, my answer is the right answer."

"Judges say that answer is incorrect."

"I wanna speak to the judge, I have a couple of words to say."

"One moment please." I clear my throat and try to make my voice as deep as possible. "Judge speaking."

Lyrvanna screams and shatters my eardrum but I burst into laughter. "W-Who is that?"

Between laughs, I say, "Van, that was me."

"... ... ... ... I hate you."

"Nah, you love me."

"Conceited. Anyway, I should go. My mom needs me to get off the phone."

"Alright."

"Reece's pieces."

"Peace."

||End Of Call||