✓ TOM HOLLAND IMAGINES [BOOK 1/2]

P.2 Growing Up to the Bitter Cold 🐙 Tom Holland

Everything had come crashing down. Your world and everything around it. Everything seemed broken. Nothing able to fix again, the pieces too small to put back together. Everything was slowly crumbling.

But there was the fire in your stomach that made you determined. Made you have the desire and need to make him understand. Who you were. Who you had become. Who you would become. You knew he belonged with you, no matter how selfish it may have seemed.

If you were honest with yourself, your lips weren't the once's his were laced with. Your body wasn't the one his hands were travelling against. Your face wasn't the one in his mind. But he was the one in yours.

How was that fair?

A knock arrived at your door, sending a shiver down your spine. No one ever visits you anymore. You stood, wincing from the pain of the scars that traced down your arms. The bruises that laced your skin from where you had repeatedly used and abused yourself. Poking and prodding your skin with the needed adrenaline.

You walked numbly to the door, opening the frame to reveal the person who made you whole and broke you in two.

"Can I help you?" You asked, leaning against the door frame. The brown eyed boy gave you a confused look. "Do you not remember me?" He asked, a smile peeking on his lips. Was he serious?

"I don't know, Thomas. I could ask you the same question" you frowned, standing back on two feet, suddenly feeling ashamed. He shook his head, rolling his eyes. "You know I do" He smiled, pulling you against him. His hands were rough, now that you were so fragile. Once upon a time your skin was healthy, and could take that kind of contact. But you haven't been touched in so long, and crumpled under the contact.

"Y/N-" He asked a little shocked as you fell against him, tears leaking out of your eyes as they fell down your cheeks, no intention of stopping. He sighed, placing a gentle kiss on your head. "God your so paranoid" he chuckled. You gave him a confused look, stepping back, barely.

"I saw you earlier. I couldn't exactly wave back though, the director would have killed me" he smiled as you gestured him inside. "What are you talking about?"

"I wasn't planning on coming back here, but funnily enough he film we're shooting was placed back here in London, so-"

"So your only here for that reason?" You asked, your voice just above a whisper.

"W-well no, I came back for you" he turned around to face you, hands fumbling together. Your heart raced as your skin burned. He looked over at you, standing a little uncomfortably. The more time he stood here, the closer he was to finding out your dirty secret and-

"What's that?" He asked, pointing to your arm as he gingerly walked over to you. You hid it away from him immediately, like a child holding something away from their parent. "Y/N" He said sternly.

"Stop it, please"

"No, what is that? Did someone hurt you?" He picked your hand up gently, holding out your arm. You gasped at the sight of yourself. Fuck, when did it get that bad? Tom looked down at you, he looked ashamed. You couldn't blame him.

"Who did this to you?" You didn't answer him.
"Y/N who-"

"Me! I did it!" You yelled, pulling your hand away as tears fell down your cheeks. "This is my work! I did this to myself! You see how useless I am!"

Tom took a step back, his mouth running dry as he looked over at you. You took a shaky deep breath. "I can't do anything on my own anymore- Hell- I cant even shower on my own! Do you see how pathetic I've become, Tom? You see what happens when I'm left to my own devices?"

"Y/N Stop it! Your talking about yourself like your a monster! This isn't your fault-"

"Well it sure as hell feels like it! I chose to do this to myself..."

You both stood in silence for a moment. You couldn't comprehend words. Not even form a sentence without breaking down. Tom came back over, placing a hand on your back and pulling you towards him.

"Look at you, Tom. You've made a life for yourself. You don't want me around" you remained in the hug, although your words stung at his heart.

"What makes you think that?"

"You've got a family-"

"You think they're my family?" He chuckled lifelessly. "Y/N, did you not hear me when I mentioned my director? I'm filming for a movie, they're not my real family"

You stayed silent, mostly thinking about how stupid you had been. "Okay. But, it's been almost four years" you looked up to him, literally and physically. The one person you'd been craving for so long was standing in front of you.

"I wish I never left, please trust me when I say that. Don't refuse to believe I'm here for you. Because I am"

Hearing those words almost killed you off. You wiped your hand over your dry mouth, you chest clenching and your throat tightening as you coughed up a sob. You felt Tom pull your hand away from your mouth, and lace his fingers into yours. Your hands were squeezed together, so tightly like you'd wished them to be again.

"Come on", he whispered gently, "go and shower and let me take you out for something to eat" he smiled, trying to make you join in.  You shook your head in defeat.

"Didn't you hear me when I said I can't shower on my own? It sounds pathetic but your gonna have to wait for Dianne to get here if you want me to go shower" you squeezed out, your throat so tight from holding back tears.

"Can I ask why?" He asked, his hand still wrapped in yours. You nodded slowly.

"I get... Short tempered with myself. Because... Of what I've done" You sounded more pathetic with every word. "So Dianne has to sit with me while I shower to keep me calm" you looked down at your feet, completely exposed and ashamed.

Tom lifted your head slowly with his index finger, "why don't I just sit with you? I won't look, promise"

You felt yourself smiling. Something both of you knew you hadn't done in a while. You nodded slow and shyly. This was about to get embarrassing.

To Be Continued....