I Can't Be.

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Hey!

SO I don't think I'm going to be able to write tomorrow guys as we're going on a family trip for the whole day and I doubt I'd be able to write because we're getting back in the evening.

BUT

Hopefully I'll try and write on sunday!

THANKS so much for you guys' support and patience and if you liked this chapter don't forget to vote and comment:)

OKAY!

Let's go!

3....

2....

1.....

BAM!

***

Inlove With My Gay Best Friend

Couple of weeks later

"My happy little pill
Take me away
Dry my eyes
Bring colour to my skies
My sweet little pill
Take my hunger
Light within
Numb my skin."

(THIS IS NOT MY SONG! THIS BELONGS TO TROYE SIVAN- Happy Little Pill)

A tear ran down my cheek as I listened to the lyrics carefully.

No other song can explain what I'm feeling right now. I feel so annoyed with myself.

I hate myself. I hate myself for existing.

I walked over to my makeup desk before pulling one of the drawers and grabbing an anti-depressant tablet. The lyrics echoed in my head eventhough my phone had already started playing a different song.

Floorboards were creaking as I heard footsteps walk up the stairs. Eventually, fingers tapped against my door. I assumed it was probably Aaron.

I was right, 'Sammie?!'

Biting my lip, I closed my eyes for a few seconds before letting my whole body fall onto my bed. I quickly put my earphones in eventhough there were no songs playing. I just wanted to be alone. I want everyone to just let me be.

I've been in a cycle for the past few weeks:

Depressed.

Angry.

Confused.

I haven't seen Jay since his fight with Aaron and he hasn't made any effort to even talk to me. I find it really sad to be honest. It feels like he doesn't even care about me anymore. That night that happened between the two of us felt like a one night stand but worse considering I know him. I can't help but feel slightly used. It's sad really, how everythings all changed in a matter of weeks. Before, I spent pretty much every minute of the day with him but now, I never see his face.

I ignored Aaron but he entered anyway.

'I've made you breakfast.' He mumbled.

My eyes were fixed on the ceiling so he probably assumed I hadn't seen him because he started walking closer to me, 'You should eat, Sammie.'

I'm still debating on who to believe. I've known Jay all my life and I can usually tell whenever he's lying. From past experience, I know he was telling me the truth but it just feels so odd to think Aaron would ever do anything bad. He's too nice and caring! When Jay is meant to be here looking after me, Aaron is here instead.

I quickly got up from the bed and stared at him for a few seconds until I felt light-headed. Suddenly, I felt something tingling at the back of my throat. Gooey liquid, slightly acidic, started filling my mouth and I ran to the toilets as quickly as possible. I knelt down on my knees and threw up.

My forehead eventually became sticky because of sweat. My vision was blurry and I felt like I wanted to throw up again. It was a weird feeling.

Aaron came running up to me, 'Are you okay?'

Then I remembered.

My period was two weeks late.

I've been having morning sickness for the past few days.

Something happened between Jay and I only a couple of weeks ago.

This can only mean one thing.

I'm pregnant.

'I think I'm pregnant.' I mumbled.

'What?!' Aaron asked.

My knees were trembling and I found it difficult to keep myself from falling over.

'Who's?'

'Jay's.'

Tears were running down my cheeks. I can't believe I'm pregnant. I find it hard looking after myself, let alone a young baby. I have no idea what Jay will think about this. He's gay, there's no way he'd help me look after the baby. If he ran away from me just because we had sex, what will he do now if he finds out I'm pregnant with his baby?

'I need to talk to Jay.'

I quickly ran down the stairs but Aaron followed me, 'I'll talk to him, Sammie. I'll tell him about your baby with him.'

'But he hates you.'

'He needs to know. I'll tell him. You stay here and rest.'

I have a bad feeling about this.

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