Beauty and the Beast |Dean Ambrose/The Shield|

|38| - The past reveals itself.

You know when you feel so emotionally drained, like too much as happened for you to even comprehend? That you just want to sleep for eternity just so your body can catch up with itself. So much had happened within the last month and I was starting to struggle with it all. My head was like jelly. As in my brain was mush. It had overloaded with emotions so much that it had fried itself. I was conflicted, confused, angry, bitter, upset etc. The list of emotions I was feeling was endless. The only thing I had  felt sure about was Phil. My revenge plan was working fine and I was happy with how it was playing out. I mean okay the three on one handicap match at TLC hadn't been apart of my plan. But, hey sometimes things play out nicely. The CM Punk part of the plan was working out fine. Although, the me being apart of The Shield, yeah not so much. I was friends with Roman and Seth and was cool. They aren't as bad as you think they are. Dean, now he was a problem. Whatever IT was between us was extremely hard to grasp. He could go from hot to cold in seconds. Angry to complacent. He was time bomb that could go off at any moment. I liked the idea of that. I liked that he was unpredictable. What I couldn't handle is when he patronized me. What I couldn't handle is when he took all control off me and I couldn't do anything. I didn't like not being in the drivers seat. I wasn't a follower. I was a leader. I didn't like the fact that now being apart of The Shield meant I had to obey the Authority's orders. It made my skin crawl. I didn't want to be apart of their game plan. My only intention was to see Punk suffer like he had wanted me to. But, of course me and my 'shoot first ask questions later' strategy and way of thinking had gotten me into something I knew I wouldn't be able to get out of. I had now been presented with the opportunity to become the newly crowned WWE Women's champion. Did I want that? So badly. Of course, if I hadn't cut the leash from Punk there was no way I would have been placed in this match. There were pro's and con's of not being next to Phil's side anymore. I was my own person. Yeah, I ran with the Shield and yes I'd probably have to obey the Authority. But, I was me. I was Ashley Orton. I was a number one contender the for WWE Women's championship. I wasn't John Cena's valet. I wasn't Randy Orton's daughter. I wasn't CM Punk's sidekick. I was Ashley Orton. I was going to be the new Women's champion. I had my priorities in check. Just not my emotions. I needed to get my act together and quickly. I knew that one  thing I needed to get out in the open was me and Dean. The concept of us, the idea of us. What were we? Just a fling? A couple? I needed to know. I hadn't seen Dean since Raw. After his little stunt taking me to go and thank the Authority for giving me a title shot, I couldn't bear to look at him without wanting to choke him. Erica had avoided me too. I don't think she knew just how to handle me yet. Which was fair enough. I didn't know how to handle me. The only person who had come to see me was John. Now, I was expecting a huge ass lecture and rant off John for what I was doing. You know 'you're playing with fire' etc etc. But I didn't get that. All I got off John was just be careful and don't let your guard down. I knew that me and John were friends for a reason. He didn't treat me like a baby. I wasn't a kid in his eyes. He knew that I was capable of doing things on my own. After not seeing Dean for two days I decided that I needed to go and talk to him. I needed to get everything out in the open. I stuck on a pair of skinny jeans, a random t-shirt which I just grabbed and my converse. I left my hotel room and walked down the hallway to Dean's room. We were doors from each other and he hadn't come to see me. Maybe he was smart and realized if he did come and see me, I would rip his hair out and stuff it down his throat. Now, now Ashley. Control that anger. I took a deep deep breath and stood outside of Dean's room. I slowly raised my fist and knocked on the door. Could I do this? Could I confront Dean about... us? Too late to back out now The door opened. The door opened and revealed Dean in only his boxers. His eyes instantly lit up and there was the amused smirk on his face. 

'Like what you see?' He asked. I wrinkled my nose up in disgust. 

'Not really' Dean laughed and opened the door, and I scooted past him.