Lost Fantasy-The Flowers of Stelis (Arc 2) [Hiatus]

Chapter 41

Loganel unlocked the door to his suite and entered in his usual, quite manner. He was tired from the long walk back to Astalan from the mountain village. The cold, frosty temperature of the day obviously didn't help with his energy level. However, once he was back in the city, seeing the beautiful lights and decorations the civilians had put out for the New Year's Holiday, Loganel felt somewhat more invigorated, almost as if he fed off the optimistic energy of the residents of Astalan.

He discovered that his dorm suite was dark because, despite the fact that the day had already been replaced by the dark night, no lights were on. The only source of illumination came from the crackling fire in the fireplace in which Loganel's cat Mazriel was warming himself by. However, even then the warm light from the fireplace wasn't enough to light up the dark and gloomy living room nor to provide enough warmth against the cold from the opened double glass door that led to the balcony. Therefore, Loganel did not remove his winter jacket that he wore over his black and red battle coat.

In the distance, past the opened double glass door that allowed the cold winter wind to blow in, Loganel could see that the curtains weren't pulled shut, but rather, they revealed the outside world to him. There, on the balcony, was his fiance by name alone for the woman merely shared a symbiotic relationship with him by their cooperation towards a common goal. The two were supposed to share no feelings for the other, but, for some odd reason, Loganel felt a deep pain inside when he saw Mistivera sitting on the railings of the balcony with a leg crossed over the other as she gazed at the moon above with the celestial body's light shining down and basking her within it. This gentle silver light led to the reflection, which made obvious, the tears in her eyes that were partly concealed with her bangs.

The sadness within her made Loganel's heart rate increase as it gave her a different style of beauty. It was a beauty of melancholy, of depression and loneliness, that seemed to draw Loganel closer and closer to her. It was as if seeing something that is so close and yet so far that when one reaches out towards it, they could almost seem to touch it but can never find the ability to do so. That is what it was like for Loganel. She's so close yet so far away, and Loganel can never seem to bring himself close enough to her to provide her with any sense of companionship. Like a lonely rose with sharp, punishing thorns, she stood there alone in the vortex of troubles that plagued her like a hurricane, relying only on herself to keep herself safe.

"Loganel," she whispered and the tears rolled down the side of her cheeks.

Although she had whispered his name, Loganel knew she didn't mean him. She had meant the real Loganel, the Loganel who he had displaced out of this body. The Loganel that they now referred to as Iliad.

Loganel paused in his steps and lowered his head as he gazed at the ground. He stay concealed in the dark with the aid of the shadows, unable to bring himself to proceed a step further. He didn't want to ruin her moment of reminiscence, but he wanted to be near her. It was a strange feeling that compelled that temptation to grow. Like something subconsciously controlling him, begging him to proceed.

"Who's there?" Mistivera quickly noticed a disturbance in her solitude, and she immediately became cautious and went on guard. Her eyes shined with a hatred towards all objects in this world like a wounded predator that could see no joy in their life.

"It's you." She sighed and relaxed her body after the clouds shifted, allowing more light to shine in through the opened doorway that led from the living room to the balcony and illuminate the lone Loganel.

"So," she quickly erased the tears from her face and returned back to the living room after shutting the double glass door behind her. "How was it?"

"I... I killed people," Loganel whispered to her with a gloomy countenance. "And I didn't feel anything."

"Hm?" Mistivera appeared confused as she stared at Loganel. In the darkness, her scarlet eyes appeared to glow. " That might be because of your Demonization."

"Will I... will I still be myself?" Loganel questioned.

"Are you still yourself now?" Mistivera asked as she walked over to the fireplace and added in some more firewood. Then she walked over to the light switch and turned on the Mana lamps, allowing the dorm suite to be illuminated.

"I don't know," Loganel shook his head. "Who am I?"

"Loganel," she sighed and crossed her arms almost as if out of frustration. "I don't know how to answer your question. I'm never been human, but... from what I know, Demons and humans share similar emotions that are only somewhat different. We feel the same emotions as humans, but our perception on death and violence is different. You know why?"

Loganel's eyes followed her as she walked over to the couch, took a seat, and crossed her long legs.

"It's because we're raised in different environments," she continued. "Many Demons, almost all of us, are raised in worlds where we must constantly protect ourselves from danger. That's the reason for the main difference in the emotions humans and our kind feel. Just the environment can cause so much difference..."

"I know what you're saying," Loganel sighed as he opened and closed his left hand. "I know but..."

"It doesn't help to keep dwelling on it," Mistivera sighed. "It's quite lively outside," she then changed the subject. "Is it that New Year's celebration?"

Loganel nodded his head in response.

"And you're so gloomy on a holiday," Mistivera sighed.

"Kaz," Loganel then said. "That demihuman boy you've met... he suggested that our party has an end of the year celebration. He wanted me to bring you as well."

"Me?" she brought a hand to her chin. "It's a good opportunity for us to establish my identity as your fiance. Fine, I'll go."

"What about for tomorrow?" Loganel then asked. "Tomorrow, New Year's Day, I will be having a dinner with my siblings that are also in Astalan. You want to go tomorrow as well?"

"Of course," she said in her cold voice. "And during the meals, let me handle the diplomacy."

"Got it," Loganel nodded. "Then I would suggest you get ready because we will have to head out soon for the end of the year celebration."

"Got it," she said.

***

It wasn't long after the two finished their preparations. For Loganel, all he had to do was strip himself of his battle gear and replace it all with comfortable winter clothing. He also added more water and food into Mazriel's feeding bowl for the cat's dinner, then added more firewood to the fireplace, and finally, left some blankets on the ground for the cat in case he got too cold. As for Mistivera, the only thing she had to do was put on some more clothing for the journey in order to appear normal.

As the two walked on the lively and festive nighttime streets of Astalan that were illuminated by the Mana street lamps and light spilling out from the many homes, Loganel could not help himself but to occasionally sneak glances over at Mistivera who walked by his side.

A hint of dread prevailed in Loganel's mind as he realized that Mistivera's mind was merely occupied by the lover and family that she had lost. He was somewhat mad that he wasn't on her mind, but Loganel knew that it was inevitable. Their times together haven't even been that long.

"Mistivera," Loganel whispered.

"What is it?" she replied, but did not turn to face him.

"..."

Loganel yearned to express these conflicting and troubling emotions within him in hopes that, being the immortal entity that lived for hundred of years, she would know the answer. However, he lacked the courage to speak up. Therefore, with a bitter frown, he suppressed it all within him.

"Nothing, never mind," he said, gazing at the ground with a depressed expression on his face.

Mistivera glanced over her shoulders and caught a glimpse of her male companion's depression. She didn't comment on it, allowing Loganel to suffer on his own. She herself was suffering from a depression of her own, and she was in no way or form able to help Loganel.

Author's Note:

Thank you to my editor TylerBasile

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