tales of the multifandom

73. a halloween interlude

"How so?"

"Think about it. We've never once seen him with a woman, he doesn't mention them at all and remember, he's never asked out a woman." Hotch deduced, Spencer smiling smugly.

"It was easier to let you guys think i was straight or just not into sex rather than have questions about how all that works."

"People ask you that?" Derek asks, a little irritably and Spencer knows its understandable from the abuse in his childhood.

"Sometimes." Spencer shrugged. "It's no big deal really. It generates quite hilarious stories when a group of girls hitting on me figure it out and start asking all these questions about gay sex." JJ laughs, as does Derek and Emily but its clear Hotch and Rossi don't actually know much about it. It just devolves them into further bouts of giggles.

"So." Derek finally controls himself, steadying his breathing for a moment. "You do get some, right?"

"I'm not some blushing virgin." Spencer frowns. "I have a boyfriend. We engage in sexual acts like all healthy couples when he's stateside."

"Woah back it up." Rossi says. "Boyfriend?" All eyes are on Spencer then and he silently groans, dropping his head and arms forward on the table gracelessly.

"Who is this?" Derek asks and Spencer knows he's just trying to be supportive, and Spencer appreciates it.

"Your not supposed to ask, and i'm not supposed to tell." Spencer mumbled into his arms and the plane falls silent, all understanding the ramification of that getting out.

"We won't tell anyone Spence." JJ assures him, patting his shoulder comfortingly and Spencer sighs, sitting back up.

"You guys know you can't look him up if i tell you, right?" Spencer tells them. "You have to promise before i say anything more what's said on this plane stays on this plane. No background checks, no asking contacts, nothing."

"We promise Reid." Hotch says, everyone nodding in agreement.

"His name is Major Evan Lorne." Spencer says slowly. "He is 35, US Air Force, and the XO of the military contingent of a highly classified mission. I have no idea where he's stationed, we speak once a week via email, and i see him for 2 weeks a year. Usually over Christmas. Sometimes before that if he's able to get stateside for other reasons like a meeting at the White house, an important artefact needs brought back to Nevada or, god forbid, medical leave. He's an art major, engineering minor, geographical profiling masters, went into the air force after college and got his masters with the air force. He grew up on a commune, and we met at a beach in Cali 4 years ago."

"Major Lorne? He doesn't happen to know a Rodney McKay does he?" Hotch enquires curiously.

"He's the literal pain in Evan's ass." Spencer snorts. "2 PhD's, thinks he knows everything. His specialities is physics, though he worked for the CIA as a teenager."

"Deep Space telemetry?" Spencer frowned, fully facing Hotch though he was violently brushing his hair out of his eyes. Emily tosses Spencer a hair tie, but he stares at the offending rubber in confusion.

"What am i supposed to do with this?" Spencer asked, holding it up.

"You tie your hair back with it Spence." JJ laughed again, and it seems that's all she's been doing to him since he got on the plane.

"Oh." Spencer makes quick work of it, pulling hair out of his face and tying the band around it. "That's much better. And to answer your question Hotch, yes."

"I knew Rodney when i was a prosecutor." Hotch explained, but gave no further details so they dropped it.

"Tell us how you guys met." Emily and Rossi seemed just as curious as the others, and Spencer sighed.

"Summer break. I was 21, this was just before i joined the BAU but after the academy. I was in Cali to accept my diploma for my third PhD."

flashback...

Spencer was sitting on the sand at on the beach in Cali, soaking up the sun while he could. The beach was relatively quiet for summer, only a few families and a few surfers about. Spencer had discarded his book on profiling - the one by David Rossi - a while back and was debating whether to actually use the surf board he'd brought with him when a shadow cast over him and when he looked up he found a rather attractive man in only swim shorts and a surf board tucked under his arm.

"Nice board." The man complimented.

"Thank you." Spencer smiled, though it felt a little stiff and awkward. "I uh, don't use it much."

"Prefer indoors to outdoors huh?" The man chuckled, holding his hand out in greeting. "I'm Evan, by the way."

"Spencer." The man didn't seem to take offence to Spencer not shaking his hand and merely dropped it.

"Can i tempt you to a swim?" Evan's smile was bright and Spencer found himself unable to say no.

"Okay."

end of flashback...

"Did you know there are seventeen places to hide weapons on a woman's knee length dress?" Spencer abruptly changed the subject. They let him.

"You have seventeen weapons on you?" Emily asked in disbelief and Spencer hummed yes.

"Evan showed me that." Spencer mused. "And I have 16 knives on me and my service weapon." Spencer then corrected.

"How did you get through airport security?" Derek asked in disbelief. "And where the hell did you hide your gun?"

"Thigh holster." Spencer shrugged, shifting the hem of his dress to show Morgan the holster. "It was a gift from Evan last year. And I was running late so i had a security guard escort me straight through." Spencer grinned. "It's amazing what you can get a male to do when you look like a woman. Especially when you have government credentials." Everyone laughed at that, shaking their heads at Spencer.

"Come on, lets talk about the case."

—

authors note
lol